I have a momentous announcement: after much angst, I have finally found some bras that fit.
I have been on a serious quest to find bras that fit, but also seemed to have a little room to expand, since I don't want to be buying new bras every two seconds. I have been all over, to no avail. Everything I tried on just seemd to fit wrong, or was uncomfortable, or was $40 (I'm too cheap to spend $40 on transient boobs). I even went to a local bra store and looked into maternity bras, as I thought that might be the perfect option. After all, they're deisigned to grow with you. Alas, that didn't pan out, either.
It did, however, give me a good laugh. If you've ever been into a bra store other than Victo.ria's Sec.ret, you might have noticed that some of the saleswomen (most of the saleswomen?) are approximately 150 years old, and often no more than 3 feet tall.
Just such a saleswoman approached me as I was fondling maternity bras in this particular bra store, trying to determine if there was one small enough to fit me. It seems that most women have torpedo-sized breasts during pregnancy and the weeks and months beyond, and I have more like large oranges, or perhaps small grapefruits, on a particularly optimistic day.
"You don't want those, dear. Those are maternity bras." I must admit, in part I was pleased to hear someone say that, as I was wearing my last pair of pants that sort of fit (okay, I bought them after I was pregnant, and they are two sizes bigger than my normal size, and I have to unbutton them by the end of the day when I sit, but still. . .real jeans!) I turned to look at her. "Yes, I know." It finally dawned on her that I am pregnant, and she proceeded to ask me how far along I was. Then, she asked if I was planning on breastfeeding, then told me that she'd breastfed five children, then regaled me with the tale of how she's nearly gave up because it was so hard, and never would have been able to do it if it hadn't been for the help of her mother-in-law. Ah, pregnancy/motherhood advice from strangers. So indispensable.
Since breastfeeding advice seemed a bit premature, I asked for help locating a bra. She measured me, then declared they had hardly anything in my size. "Well, why do you need one?" she asked. I explained that none of my bras fit, and I desperately needed new ones. "Why?" she asked. "Did they get smaller?"
In the middle of a crowded store, no less.
As it turned out, the few bras she had to offer me were heavily padded options. She seemed perplexed as to why I, such an unendowed little thing, would turn down boobs of foam, so I left her behind and continued my quest.
Happily, a short time later I happened upon a sale rack at Ko.hl's where there were two bras called Near.ly Ba.re or something like that. Wide straps, no padding, plenty of support. . .I nearly cried with joy. They are the most comfortable bras I have ever owned. Or maybe it just seems that way because I've been free-boobing it of late.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Unexpected Moments
The last few years have taught me so many things: that I shouldn't expect anything, because I am so often wrong; that things don't always go the way we plan, despite all of our thought and preparation and desires; that people who should understand sometimes don't; and that comfort and strength often come from unexpected sources. So perhaps the big reveal at work today shouldn't have been so surprising, but it was.
The response I got was overwhelmingly positive, with lots of hugs, tears, and screaming. The HR person actually made ME cry, when I told her that it had been a long road, and she told me that she understood, because she herself had never quite managed to get to where I am. As her eyes welled up, I felt so sad for her. She so totally got it, and was so supportive of whatever amount of leave I want to take. As it turns out, I might be able to take additional unpaid leave on top of my paid leave, but I still need to sort all of that out.
The head of my division was genuinely thrilled for me, too--really, really excited. And the male supervisor that I was dreading telling, the one who I thought really wouldn't get it? He was in tears when I told him.
The response I got was overwhelmingly positive, with lots of hugs, tears, and screaming. The HR person actually made ME cry, when I told her that it had been a long road, and she told me that she understood, because she herself had never quite managed to get to where I am. As her eyes welled up, I felt so sad for her. She so totally got it, and was so supportive of whatever amount of leave I want to take. As it turns out, I might be able to take additional unpaid leave on top of my paid leave, but I still need to sort all of that out.
The head of my division was genuinely thrilled for me, too--really, really excited. And the male supervisor that I was dreading telling, the one who I thought really wouldn't get it? He was in tears when I told him.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
The End of Vacation
Sigh. I have to go back to work tomorrow. Although we spent both weekends at the lake, which was relaxing, I spent the better part of the week hacking away at my never-ending to-do list. I made quite a bit of progress, although of course not as much as I had hoped. Even though it wasn't a "normal" vacation where we went off for the whole week (T. had to work for most of the week), it was still nice to be off from work. I am just so totally ready to move on from my current position.
Tomorrow is the big day at work, however, so return I must. I will be telling them that I'm pregnant. I told a work friend of mine yesterday (then swore her to secrecy--I know I can trust her). She was completely shocked, so I guess that means that no one has been speculating about my expanding waistline. I feel like it's so obvious, as does T., but no one seems to guess that I'm pregnant. In fact, people just keep telling me that I look really "healthy." I guess that means that 15 pounds ago, I was a little too thin. I suppose I notice it more than most people because most of my work clothes no longer fit. It's amazing how a relatively small amount of weight can torpedo your wardrobe.
I am not looking forward to telling my immediate supervisor that I'm pregnant. He's nearing 50 and single, and never had kids. His priorities lay in chasing women, not family-building. I have seen how he has treated other women with families, and I haven't been impressed, to say the least. It's no coincidence that every single person who does my job right now either does not have any children, or their children are already grown up. There is literally not one single person in my position who has young children. It's pretty much been that way for the time that he's been in charge of my division, with the occasional exception.
Actually, none of the current supervisors in my division have children, and there is currently only one professional person that has a young child. It's more than a little weird. The hours are generally awful and the work can be very challenging, so it's in part self-selecting, I suppose. But if I weren't planning on leaving anyway, I would find it incredibly disconcerting that there are so few people with young families. It didn't used to be this way there, but it seems to have evolved over the last few years.
I am telling my office about the pregnancy later in my pregnancy than I had intended, because we ended up doing the additional testing. I didn't want to tell them if the news was only going to be bad. Hence, I will hit four months this week. Time is FLYING by!!! The good news for me professionally is that I am far enough along that the fall schedule is pretty much in place, and it's sort of too late for my supervisor to try to take anything from me. I am comfortable setting limitations for myself (like, I plan on asking for extra help for a project I have coming up in November, just in case my body doesn't do what I hope it will), but I don't want anyone else setting them for me. The winter schedule is just coming together now, and I've structured my work so that it will be March-April before I really need help, so they should have no problem working in someone to cover for me while I'm on maternity leave.
The only thing I've been stressing about with regard to my leave are budget cuts. I am entitled to 12 weeks paid leave for maternity leave, and I plan to make the arrangements with HR tomorrow, prior to telling my supervisor. I am going to freak if they give me a hard time about the leave, due to the current state of the economy. I have made a million personal sacrifices for them over the last few years, and I am not asking for anything that I'm not otherwise entitled to. The benefits are very clear, and in writing. Yet, I have a lingering fear that they are somehow going to try to cut my benefits, or give me a hard time about taking the time that I'm entitled to. Well, I will find out first thing in the morning.
Tomorrow is the big day at work, however, so return I must. I will be telling them that I'm pregnant. I told a work friend of mine yesterday (then swore her to secrecy--I know I can trust her). She was completely shocked, so I guess that means that no one has been speculating about my expanding waistline. I feel like it's so obvious, as does T., but no one seems to guess that I'm pregnant. In fact, people just keep telling me that I look really "healthy." I guess that means that 15 pounds ago, I was a little too thin. I suppose I notice it more than most people because most of my work clothes no longer fit. It's amazing how a relatively small amount of weight can torpedo your wardrobe.
I am not looking forward to telling my immediate supervisor that I'm pregnant. He's nearing 50 and single, and never had kids. His priorities lay in chasing women, not family-building. I have seen how he has treated other women with families, and I haven't been impressed, to say the least. It's no coincidence that every single person who does my job right now either does not have any children, or their children are already grown up. There is literally not one single person in my position who has young children. It's pretty much been that way for the time that he's been in charge of my division, with the occasional exception.
Actually, none of the current supervisors in my division have children, and there is currently only one professional person that has a young child. It's more than a little weird. The hours are generally awful and the work can be very challenging, so it's in part self-selecting, I suppose. But if I weren't planning on leaving anyway, I would find it incredibly disconcerting that there are so few people with young families. It didn't used to be this way there, but it seems to have evolved over the last few years.
I am telling my office about the pregnancy later in my pregnancy than I had intended, because we ended up doing the additional testing. I didn't want to tell them if the news was only going to be bad. Hence, I will hit four months this week. Time is FLYING by!!! The good news for me professionally is that I am far enough along that the fall schedule is pretty much in place, and it's sort of too late for my supervisor to try to take anything from me. I am comfortable setting limitations for myself (like, I plan on asking for extra help for a project I have coming up in November, just in case my body doesn't do what I hope it will), but I don't want anyone else setting them for me. The winter schedule is just coming together now, and I've structured my work so that it will be March-April before I really need help, so they should have no problem working in someone to cover for me while I'm on maternity leave.
The only thing I've been stressing about with regard to my leave are budget cuts. I am entitled to 12 weeks paid leave for maternity leave, and I plan to make the arrangements with HR tomorrow, prior to telling my supervisor. I am going to freak if they give me a hard time about the leave, due to the current state of the economy. I have made a million personal sacrifices for them over the last few years, and I am not asking for anything that I'm not otherwise entitled to. The benefits are very clear, and in writing. Yet, I have a lingering fear that they are somehow going to try to cut my benefits, or give me a hard time about taking the time that I'm entitled to. Well, I will find out first thing in the morning.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
An Open Letter to The Manufacturers of Maternity Clothes
Dear Maternity Clothes Designers:
I do not know what you are thinking. I do not like rayon or polyester. I do not like loud prints. I do not want my entire maternity wardrobe to consist of bright, happy colors simply because I am bright and happy these days. I do not want to wear tank tops that are skanky and flimsy at the top, yet at the bottom resemble a large circus tent. I do not want to wear stretch pants. In fact, I do not at all want to be reminded of my wardrobe from the 1980's. It was indeed bad enough the first time.
I would, however, like something that remotely resembles stylish. I have found approximately three black dresses that are simply fabulous, and I may resort to wearing them to work every day of the week. Perhaps it can be my maternity "uniform," as thought I am a pregnant Steve Jobs. But really, would it be so much trouble for you to make a stretchy, knee-length black skirt, perhaps cut on the bias? A stylish, monochromatic wardrobe of pencil skirts and decent pants and sweater sets, with the occasional pleasant color or vibrant-yet-sophisticated pattern mixed in? A jacket or two that could be worn to a business meeting, in a fabric other than the dreaded polyester? Something classic, something that works in a conservative office where people still actually wear suits to work? In short, business attire that doesn't make me feel--and look!--like a frumpy housewife from middleAmerica who doesn't belong behind my desk?
I would really appreciate it if you would heed my call, because I'm quickly outgrowing my own clothes, and I can't find anything of yours that I would actually wear. I will soon be left with nothing but the aforementioned black dresses. Sigh. At least they will accessorize well.
Sincerely,
Q
**If anyone has any suggestions for sources of attractive, office-friendly maternity attire, please let me know, as I am getting rather desperate. I've found a few things that look like possibilities on eBay, but until they get here, I can't really be sure.
I do not know what you are thinking. I do not like rayon or polyester. I do not like loud prints. I do not want my entire maternity wardrobe to consist of bright, happy colors simply because I am bright and happy these days. I do not want to wear tank tops that are skanky and flimsy at the top, yet at the bottom resemble a large circus tent. I do not want to wear stretch pants. In fact, I do not at all want to be reminded of my wardrobe from the 1980's. It was indeed bad enough the first time.
I would, however, like something that remotely resembles stylish. I have found approximately three black dresses that are simply fabulous, and I may resort to wearing them to work every day of the week. Perhaps it can be my maternity "uniform," as thought I am a pregnant Steve Jobs. But really, would it be so much trouble for you to make a stretchy, knee-length black skirt, perhaps cut on the bias? A stylish, monochromatic wardrobe of pencil skirts and decent pants and sweater sets, with the occasional pleasant color or vibrant-yet-sophisticated pattern mixed in? A jacket or two that could be worn to a business meeting, in a fabric other than the dreaded polyester? Something classic, something that works in a conservative office where people still actually wear suits to work? In short, business attire that doesn't make me feel--and look!--like a frumpy housewife from middleAmerica who doesn't belong behind my desk?
I would really appreciate it if you would heed my call, because I'm quickly outgrowing my own clothes, and I can't find anything of yours that I would actually wear. I will soon be left with nothing but the aforementioned black dresses. Sigh. At least they will accessorize well.
Sincerely,
Q
**If anyone has any suggestions for sources of attractive, office-friendly maternity attire, please let me know, as I am getting rather desperate. I've found a few things that look like possibilities on eBay, but until they get here, I can't really be sure.
Monday, July 20, 2009
CVS: The Final Results Are In--The Baby is a. . .!
I have been completely unable to post over the last week, holding my breath until the final, full test results were in. We FINALLY got the test results today, and the baby tested chromosomally normal. And, we found out what it is!
But first, the rest of the week. . .T. absolutely refused to wait any longer to tell everyone. I wanted to wait until the final results were in, but he was fine with the FISH, and could not wait one.second.longer! So, I wrapped up the the picture frame for his mom, who was having dinner with his brother Wednesday night. Although his mom lives quite a ways from us, I had to be near her house for work on Wednesday, so I dropped off the wrapped frame, and asked her to give it to his brother when she saw him for dinner that night. T's brother just bought a house, so my MIL thought it was a house-warming present. The card that I put on it told his brother congratulations on the house, and asked him to hand the gift back to my MIL to open. It was the kind of thing that I knew they'd get a kick out of, and they did.
Then, I called my mom at about the same time they were having dinner, and told her she could open the package that I mailed her a few weeks ago. She immediately guessed that we are pregnant, and she was really excited for us. It meant so much to me that she was excited, because I wasn't sure what her reaction was going to be like. She's called a bunch of times since then, trying to get info about what the sex of the baby is. (We told everyone we'd know what it was once the final test results came back, so everyone has been waiting on pins and needles with us!) It's a good thing that my mom guessed that we were having a baby, because the letters fell off the frame in the mail! She had no idea what it was supposed to say on the back of the frame (it said "due in January"). It must've gotten too hot or something.
A while after I called my mom, the phone calls started coming in from T's side of the family. They were all thrilled.
Then, this weekend, we threw a huge cookout for my dad, brother, and a bunch of other family. We played lawn games, and the top three finalists got presents. The top prize, of course, was the wrapped frame. The recipient opened it backwards, so that the "due in January" was showing first, and as soon as his wife saw it, she jumped up and gave me a huge hug, all while it dawned on my dad's wife and she started screaming "are you pregnant??? Is she pregant? I TOLD you!!!", to which my dad replied "but did you buy the card?" Apparently, they've all been trying to guess about whether I was or not. One of the guys saw me last weekend and told his wife that I was in a bathing suit and he didn't think I was pregnant. (THANK YOU!!! I feel so bloated and misshapen right now!). Everyone was very excited (well, muted responses from my dad and brother, but those were to be expected, as that's just how their personalities are--I know they're excited for me, too.).
So, it was a really nice week of telling. My mother in law immediately called every person she knew. I knew that she would go overboard, and realized that in fact she had when she began listing all of the people she called, and then finished with "and the guy who's putting in my new stone walkways is really excited, too." Um, SURE he is! She's too funny.
But the icing on this wonderful week of love and postive thoughts was the call today from the genetic counselor: that the baby is chromosomally normal. I can't even begin to express how much this meant to me, and what a relief it was. Oh, and the baby? She's a girl. I was so thoroughly convinced that it was a boy, that it was a HUGE shock when she told us. It was really great, because normally I would have been an hour away at my office, and T. would've been off working. But, I'm on vacation this week, and T. came home to have lunch with me. The genetic counselor just happened to call while he was here, so I was able to put her on speakerphone, and she was able to tell us while we were together. It was awesome, especially because it was really such a surprise. I am so, so, so thrilled. I'm having a girl. I am really, truly having a baby girl! I can hardly believe it.
But first, the rest of the week. . .T. absolutely refused to wait any longer to tell everyone. I wanted to wait until the final results were in, but he was fine with the FISH, and could not wait one.second.longer! So, I wrapped up the the picture frame for his mom, who was having dinner with his brother Wednesday night. Although his mom lives quite a ways from us, I had to be near her house for work on Wednesday, so I dropped off the wrapped frame, and asked her to give it to his brother when she saw him for dinner that night. T's brother just bought a house, so my MIL thought it was a house-warming present. The card that I put on it told his brother congratulations on the house, and asked him to hand the gift back to my MIL to open. It was the kind of thing that I knew they'd get a kick out of, and they did.
Then, I called my mom at about the same time they were having dinner, and told her she could open the package that I mailed her a few weeks ago. She immediately guessed that we are pregnant, and she was really excited for us. It meant so much to me that she was excited, because I wasn't sure what her reaction was going to be like. She's called a bunch of times since then, trying to get info about what the sex of the baby is. (We told everyone we'd know what it was once the final test results came back, so everyone has been waiting on pins and needles with us!) It's a good thing that my mom guessed that we were having a baby, because the letters fell off the frame in the mail! She had no idea what it was supposed to say on the back of the frame (it said "due in January"). It must've gotten too hot or something.
A while after I called my mom, the phone calls started coming in from T's side of the family. They were all thrilled.
Then, this weekend, we threw a huge cookout for my dad, brother, and a bunch of other family. We played lawn games, and the top three finalists got presents. The top prize, of course, was the wrapped frame. The recipient opened it backwards, so that the "due in January" was showing first, and as soon as his wife saw it, she jumped up and gave me a huge hug, all while it dawned on my dad's wife and she started screaming "are you pregnant??? Is she pregant? I TOLD you!!!", to which my dad replied "but did you buy the card?" Apparently, they've all been trying to guess about whether I was or not. One of the guys saw me last weekend and told his wife that I was in a bathing suit and he didn't think I was pregnant. (THANK YOU!!! I feel so bloated and misshapen right now!). Everyone was very excited (well, muted responses from my dad and brother, but those were to be expected, as that's just how their personalities are--I know they're excited for me, too.).
So, it was a really nice week of telling. My mother in law immediately called every person she knew. I knew that she would go overboard, and realized that in fact she had when she began listing all of the people she called, and then finished with "and the guy who's putting in my new stone walkways is really excited, too." Um, SURE he is! She's too funny.
But the icing on this wonderful week of love and postive thoughts was the call today from the genetic counselor: that the baby is chromosomally normal. I can't even begin to express how much this meant to me, and what a relief it was. Oh, and the baby? She's a girl. I was so thoroughly convinced that it was a boy, that it was a HUGE shock when she told us. It was really great, because normally I would have been an hour away at my office, and T. would've been off working. But, I'm on vacation this week, and T. came home to have lunch with me. The genetic counselor just happened to call while he was here, so I was able to put her on speakerphone, and she was able to tell us while we were together. It was awesome, especially because it was really such a surprise. I am so, so, so thrilled. I'm having a girl. I am really, truly having a baby girl! I can hardly believe it.
Monday, July 13, 2009
FISH Food
The prelim results (done via FISH) came back normal for T13, T18 and T21. I opted not to find out gender yet. Full results will be in Friday or Monday, but so far, so good. Phew.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Test Update
I survived the test. It was uncomfortable, but not horrible. I'm feeling okay, and not having any cramping or spotting. They redid the nuchal fold measurement before the CVS yesterday, and it was still good. The MFM reassured me that she believes our test results will come back okay, based on the neck measurement. I am taking it easy and relaxing by the lake. We're doing FISH, so partial results will be in on Monday. I will write more about what the test was like when I'm home and in front of a real computer, rather than on my cell.
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