I'm in the process of reading Seth Godin's book What to do When It's Your Turn (And It's Always Your Turn).  It's not a book that you sit down and read all at once.  The book is written as a series of short pieces, all of which fit together and move toward the central theme.  But each piece is meaty and thought-provoking, and must be contemplated and savored before moving on to the next.

The central premise of the book is essentially that NOW is the time to step up to the plate and do that thing that is inside of us that might not work, but which we think is worth doing.  The book includes a piece entitled "When is the right time?," which I thought was beautifully written.  He writes of a talk he gave to a small group of youg, privileged interns at an investment bank.  He was advising them about "their freedom, about how they could choose to do their very best work, to become more than a cog in a (profitable) machine," when one of the women raised her hand and made the point that with their student loans, it made sense to hold off, to wait to take risks and find their own paths in life when they are at a point when they are better established.

He writes that it is never the "right time," and says

     We have a thousand perfect reasons to give up our freedom in exchange for the illusion of safety.         All of them are based on a misunderstanding of fear vs. freedom.  This is the chance of a lifetime,       our lifetime.  Not someone else, us.  Not later.  Now.

Exactly.

P.S.  I have probably mentioned before, but I read Seth almost daily, and generally find his short pieces to be deeply profound.  I highly recommend his blog, and the book, as well as his podcast, although truth be told, I don't like the podcast as much as the blog or the book.

My Year of Living Productively

I just had another birthday recently, and I've moved into the latter half of my 40's.  On the one hand, I feel okay about where I am in life--two great kids, a relationship that has stood the test of time, and a career I enjoy.  I have an advanced degree, and had a first career that I also really enjoyed.  I learned a language after I turned 40 (Spanish), achieved a respectable level of proficiency, and have worked in it professionally for about five years.  I am currently learning another language (French). 

But still, things aren't exactly where I want them to be.  There are some other things that I want to do, that nip at the edge of my subconscious like annoying little dogs.  For many years, I have pushed them back, waiting for the "right" time--when I was a bit more settled, my kids a bit older, when I had more time.  Of course, that time has never come.  And here I am, entering my late 40's.  If not now, when?

So I am going to dedicate this year to living productively. . .to simply showing up, and putting the time in where I can.  Regularly.  Steadily.  It will be a year of living like a tortoise (slowly, methodically) and seeing what happens.  I don't have a million hours to devote to my projects.  This will be a year of just chipping away, bit by bit, where I can do so.  

Why Hello There

It has been a very long time since I have written.  I have thought about this space, and what to do with it.  I like that it exists here, detailing the trials and tribulations (let's face it--mostly trials, because I never write about the good times, really--this blog is fueld by too much coffee and lots of anxiety!).  We spent essentially the last year living in what I call the "in between"--we moved back to the U.S., but we knew that we were in a place that we would live only temporarily, and we knew that we would move again at the end of the school year.  When you are living like that, in a place that is not your own, with the ending just over the horizon, it is hard to feel settled.  It is, in fact, quite unsettling in some respects.  On a positive note, we were living in a city we know well, and got to do all of our favorite things again, as well as fall in love with some new ones.  We also had friends there, which made it emminently more bearable.

One might think that I would have written more in this year of much transition, but honestly, I think it is just that I was busy surviving, and unlike many other points in my life, it didn't feel like writing about it was going to help.  It was not a bad year.  I did interesting work.  I started learning French, and have an okay level of fluency--it's still a work in progress.  T went back to his old job, and has been fairly satisified professionally.  The girls had a decent year--particularly SB, who settled into a new school nicely (her fifth, and she is six years old!), and made many wonderful friends.  Miss M had a bit of a more difficult year, shockingly enough with a mean girl in her class who bullied her a bit--a dynamic that other parents tell me has been going on with this child for several school years, and of which the school is well aware.  She was anxious to move on again, actually, which was a first.  But still, she was relatively happy, on balance, and we started to learn some important life lessons, whether we wanted to or not.

And so, after school ended in June, we packed up yet again, and moved internationally for the third time in 18 months.  It sounds horrible, but while there have been some bumps along the way, it was actually wonderful to move past the "in between" space of the last year and get settled again.  We are in a safe place--well, as safe as the modern world can be.  Our new house is fabulous.  It is sun-drenched and in a wonderful neighborhood, and we have a small yard.  We are getting a dog in a couple of weeks--the girls' first pet.  The girls had a wonderful summer, and made a bunch of friends.  They are happy, and that is the most important thing.  They have also been able to spend a fair amount of time with family this summer, which is particularly important to Miss M, who deeply values her roots. 

I still have way too many unopened boxes in this house, and I am weary of unpacking.  Our things showed up in drip and drabs, so it feels like I have spent the last six weeks doing nothing but washing move-dusty things and finding new homes for them.  But it is coming together, and it looks pretty good.  And now, I am off to organize the playroom, as all of the toys have arrived, and are in a high state of disarray.  I still have not found the lamps, so organization of the room must be done during daylight hours.  Or maybe I just need to break down and buy new lamps!