Thursday, June 9, 2016

Crossroads. Again.

It is wonderful to have choices.

It is hard to have choices.

We are again fast coming to a point where we will need to make some decisions, and as I often do, I wish I could KNOW what the right decisions are.

I have enjoyed being back in the U.S., and have enjoyed my job, but my personal life has been chaotic and somewhat difficult.  The house is a bit messier than I would like and there is always laundry to fold and we are always running here, there, and everywhere.  I feel like we don't get enough of a chance to just BE, here in America.  In short, I miss our life overseas.

It has not at all been a smooth year for the girls.  We've had the nightmare that was SB's preschool experience, and the extremely huge, negative impact it had upon her.  We had the poor school fit for Miss M socially, although she has learned a ton educationally and we are pleased with that part of things.  Her teacher has mentioned that she is beyond her peers in terms of her exposure to things, or to put it another way, she has had a lot more life experiences.  That is where we see the Title I school really has been an issue--it's not skin color, or family income, or native language.  It's access to experiences that sets her apart.  That has made more of a difference than I ever imagined it could, even in kindergarten.  Another mother told me how stunned she was to hear my daughter talk about Jackson Pollock in class one day.  She has an insanely good memory, and she is interested in many things, and we take her to do a lot of different things, and she is just an awesome kid who contains a lot of knowledge that she's thrilled to share.  Which makes her stand out from her current peers.  Anyway, it's been a poor fit.

And then there is T. . .he kind of hates his job.  He would probably like it, but the people he works for are unpleasant and treat him rather poorly, and he is miserable.

So, it seems like it would be easy to head back overseas, right?  It's been hard for everyone here (well, except me, but I miss our life overseas), so we should just hit the road again, right?

But. . .

Miss M has been accepted into a great bilingual private school for next year.

We have everything worked out for SB to next year attend the fantastic, amazing, warm, caring preschool that we switched her to a few months ago, where she has THRIVED.

And T has just applied for a fantastic job at a museum that he would be perfect for, and it would be perfect for him.  That is not to say that he will get an interview, even--let alone the job.  But it is a kernel of hope for him, and he is convinced he can get himself the job if he can land an interview.

Which of course means that. . .

I am hearing whisperings of a fantastic job in a very interesting place overseas.  We'd have good weather and decent schools and a good salary and household help and low crime and little pollution and short commutes.  But it means starting over again.  I mean, we are going to start over again in the fall, anyway, in some respects.  But at least we know where the playground and the grocery store are.

I'm just not sure.