Thursday, November 29, 2012
On Being a Student Again, and Other Things
I am LOVING learning Spanish. Truthfully, I don't know how much I am actually learning, and how much I am merely remembering. I had a phenomenal high school Spanish teacher, and bit by bit it has all been coming back to me. I took it for a couple of years in college, too, but it's my high school teacher that I hear whispering "wrong syll-AB-le" in my ear. It is such a joy to learn this language, and to have this time to do it. It's been a long time since I've learned something simply for the purpose of learning it, rather than for credit. There is a certain freedom to learning simply for the sake of learning that I relish. Of course, I'm not learning simply to learn--I need to be able to conduct business in Spanish. But still--I'm learning whatever I want, and not merely what some teacher wants me to learn. I'm learning with a larger goal, proficiency, rather than for a test. It's different. It is FUN.
And frankly, it's been easy to build on that early foundation. I never guessed that this would be the case. I expected it would be so much more difficult, given that it's been a good two decades since I set foot in a Spanish class. I've sporadically used it on vacation over the years, but nothing like this. It is really amazing to have words popping into my brain all of the time, and remembering their meaning. It's strange, actually, but in a really good way. It didn't all come back at once. It's more like, the more that I read and study, the more that I remember and know.
The only difficulty is that I would love more time to study, but since my work schedule is relatively relaxed right now, I am trying to spend more time with the kids. I thought I might study at night after their bedtime, but find that by then I am too burned out to absorb much. I thought I might get up early in the mornings, like 4:30 or 5am, and study before my morning class, but SB has been staying up a bit late, and that's been rough on my intended morning routine.
SB is a bit cranky of late (which is to say, occasionally she cries--she is still the smiliest, happiest baby that I have ever met). She is teething and growing and generally uncomfortable, constantly tugging at her ears (it's teeth and not an ear infection) until we dose her up with baby crack. She is still just the most awesome, lovely, huggy, happy baby ever. But more on her in a soon-to-be-written post. Suffice it to say, I love having an 8 month old--it is a wonderful, happy age, and watching her and Miss M interact and laugh and begin to play together is just AMAZING.
Miss M is also doing well. Preschool is going fairly well. I don't love it, but it seems good enough for the brief time we are here. Miss M seems to actually listen to her teachers. Every time I go to get her she is sitting still, paying attention, in a chair or wherever else she is supposed to be (unless she is supposed to be running around playing, in which case she happily complies). The other day, I asked her teachers if she listens to them, and they looked at me in surprise and said "yes, until Mommy gets here!" She was running out the door at the time, without her coat on of course. Argh. Three is both a glorious age, and a difficult one. We are trying to be kind and consistent, but there are definitely moments when I wonder where our lovely, pleasant, polite little angel went, and wonder how she became such a sassy, cantankerous bossypants.
We've been able to spend two weekends with family since we've moved here, which has been good for my girls and my family. I think, truth be told, that my family finds the full-on onslaught of a toddler and an infant to be a bit. . .chaotic. I wish I had a camera in my hand to memorialize the moment when my oldest decided she did not want to eat something, and spit it into my hand at the dinner table because she refused to wait one...more...second for anyone to get a napkin in front of her mouth. My stepfather's face was simply priceless, a study in horror and disgust. He loves the girls, but I think he's a bit mystified by them, too. Needless to say, he comes from a generation that was not actively engaged in child-rearing. He's been remarkably patient with it all, though. It's been a joy to watch my mom do ordinary things with my girls, like bake Christmas cookies with Miss M. These are the moments that I treasure, the ones we simply don't have when we are abroad. The beauty is in these simple joys.
We are settling into our life here, catching up with old friends and making new ones. We venture around the city on outings every chance we get, exploring new parks and museums. It was T's birthday this week, and we dragged the kids across the city on a weeknight (albeit at only 5pm) to visit a restaurant that he loves, for milkshakes and burgers and breakfast-for-dinner and homemade pop-tarts. It's a happy, family-friendly place with old-school yet trendy decor and a big ole bucket full of toys for the kids (in addition to high chairs AND booster seats and crayons and coloring paper and an awesome kids menu that includes pancakes for dinner). As the staff ogled our children as we headed to our booth, T happened to mention that we've been living abroad and he's been craving one of their adult milkshakes (because nothing makes a birthday milkshake better than booze!) for the last two years. They kindly sent his favorite one over, on the house. It was a big, kind, only-in-America gesture that made us love the place even more. We find these little, perfect moments around every corner here. Every day brings a new little blessing: a card in the mail for Miss M from a friend in Africa; an offer from a new playmate for a Play-doh playdate; running into an old friend on a pre-playground Starbucks run. This is a time of renewal for us, a time to reconnect with our friends and our family and our country, to learn a new language, to get ready for the next big adventure abroad. I am happy here, now, in this space. It's weird to think our time here is so short, and that in just over six months, we'll leave again for our next destination. I think that might be what makes this time so valuable, though--we know it's fleeting, and we are making the most of every moment.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Adult Education
It is completely fun to be studying and learning again. It's been YEARS since I was a student. On the other hand, the methodology my tutor is using is bothering me, so much so that I just tried to buy my high school Spanish book online, because the structure made so much more sense to me. I'm not sure what I imagined it would be like to work on my Spanish, but I didn't think I'd spend an hour spelling words out loud like we were at a deranged Spanish spelling bee. (Gabriel, He-Ah-bey-ere-ee-eh-elle, Gabriel). Boooo-ring! I need to give it a bit of time to see if it gets better, but I might need to switch instructors and go with a different process.
Day two of preschool seemed to go well. I don't know that this is the ideal preschool for us. This morning, when I asked the teacher how Miss M did yesterday (there was only one other student in the classroom at the time), she sort of craned her head to look at her and then clearly couldn't remember anything about her. There are only like eight kids in the class, so it really should not have been hard. When I specifically asked her whether she'd napped and if she'd eaten lunch, she couldn't remember. "I think she was okay?" she said, but it was clear that was a guess. I suppose that means that there were no major issues, because she probably would have remembered those. I think it's likely that it's more of a daycare and less of a preschool, but I'm trying not to be all Tiger Mom about it. It's preschool, and she's not even three, and I'm sending her more for the social aspects than anything else. We're only here for seven months, and she still has two years of preschool after this, because her birthday falls in January. I keep reminding myself that this place does not have to be the be-all, end-all, and the point is for her to have fun and enjoy herself.
We got there about an hour earlier today than yesterday, as I had an early meeting this morning, and it was clearly the hot drop-off time. The classroom was full of kids having full-blown meltdowns about being left at daycare. And my child? Yes, she would be the one who could barely pay attention to me long enough for me to say goodbye. The teacher tried to distract one of the distraught children by telling her she could paint, and that was all Miss M needed to hear. She wanted to paint--who cared that mommy was leaving?! She did not look back at me even once as I told her I was leaving! I'm glad she has that confidence. She was really excited to see me at the end of the day again, and was utterly exhausted by the time I picked her up. I think she might benefit from shorter days, or perhaps longer naps. She's a regular two-hour napper, but I suspect that she either isn't sleeping, or wakes too quickly due to the noise of the other children. She also is getting up an hour earlier than normal. I put her to bed an hour earlier tonight, too, hoping that she'll get a good night's sleep and wake well-rested in the morning.
I like to write in the morning, before anyone else is awake. It's so nice to be in a silent house with a hot cup of coffee and some quiet time for myself. This morning, however, I fell back asleep for an hour after my alarm went off, and had to race to get us to school and work on time, so there was no time for writing. I, too, was exhausted upon arriving home, but I made myself hit my writing target for the day. I can see that more than anything, NaNoWriMo is going to be an exercise in discipline. I don't find the idea generation or the writing to be particularly hard or time consuming--it's just making myself sit down and do it. Well, you know what they say--90% of success is just showing up. It's reaffirming for me that anything is possible, if only you take it one step at a time.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
The First Day of Preschool
She agreed to get out of bed and watch cartoons, but was slow to wake. When I came back from my shower, she was eating a whole grain Eggo waffle while watching cartoons. T dressed her in the clothes we had laid out the night before: skinny jeans and a trendy striped Gap sweater, with a pair of slip-on Merrill's, and capped with an adorable red wool Gap coat. When I finished getting ready, she was finally raring to go off to school, and we all loaded in the car.
At every stoplight, she wanted to know why we were stopping. She wanted to go to school! When we got there, T gave her a hug, and I took some "first day of school" pictures of her and daddy. He stayed in the car with SB while I brought her in. I tried to take some pictures of her in front of the school, but most are just shots of her back as she is walking in, because she was ready to go.
I signed her in and took her to her classroom, and as we walked there, she told me that she "loves this place." I have to say, it was really nice. We hadn't visited before, given that we applied from Europe. In her classroom, kids were already playing, and she had her coat off and melded in with the rest of the group before I knew it. I spoke with the teacher for a brief minute and put her things in her cubby, and by the time I turned around, she was surrounded by a bevy of new friends, playing away. I told her that I was leaving and that I would be back later, and she said goodbye while barely looking my way. This, from the child who has never been to daycare, never even been babysat by someone who was not very, very well-known to her. I teared up a little to see what a big girl she is.
When I picked her up this afternoon, she seemed a little sad as I walked through the door. She rushed over to me with open arms. "Mommy," she said, "you came back!" I think she had started to be afraid we would not return for her, which broke my heart. She perked up immediately, so much so that when we reached the front door to leave, she started getting upset that she had to leave, and wanted to stay. I had to promise that she could come back tomorrow. I think she needed me to come visit, and then wanted me to go away again!
On the way home, she chattered away about her day. She claims she had cookies and bread for lunch, and juice and milk in real cups, which she said she spilled. She said a girl cried, and they played on the playground, and she didn't get to paint. She was sunny and full of joy about all of it, and seems unscathed. I am so relieved.
I picked her up a little early, so I didn't get a chance to talk with the teacher to see how she did, and how she ate, and whether (and what time) she napped. I hope to get in there early tomorrow to try to talk with her, to get her perspective. Things were so hectic this morning that I didn't get a chance to warn them that she doesn't eat much, or that she only likes to drink milk, or that she isn't potty trained but I think we are close. I suppose those aren't necessary things, really--her backpack was full of diapers for her cubby, and everything else was obvious (or she'd make it known). I probably need to let go a little bit, anyway.
Oh, and my first day back at work was fine, although it was hard to sit still through boring meetings. And I easily met my target word count for NaNoWriMo, and it's not the worst thing I have ever written. I think this is going to be a fun month.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Post-Frankenstorm Update
We survived the storm just fine. We never even lost power. We did, however, suffer some leaks. This building must need a lot of work, since it appears to be made from stone/cement. We had about five leaks, to be precise. Leaks 1-3 were around the windows, and leaked onto the sills. . .no big deal. I put a bowl under one, and mopped up the other two. Leak #4 was from the ceiling, and leaked onto carpet. This one is a little more problematic. We put a bucket under it once we discovered it, but the carpet was already wet at that point. The plaster in the ceiling is starting to come down. Leak #5 is the doozy, though--a giant section of our living room carpet is soaking wet, as is the rug pad underneath it. The wooden baseboard is rotten all along the area, so clearly this is a long-standing problem. I need to inspect more, but it also appears that the bottom of the tv cabinet is moldy. They sent a guy to vacuum up the water, but that did little/nothing to remedy the problem. The carpet and carpet pad are both soaked. I think this is going to require me being a pain in the ass to get it all fixed. . .ie, writing a letter that cites the relevant state laws about wet and mold and what their obligations are. I hate be heavy-handed, when we have just moved in, but they don't seem to be in a hurry to fix things, and I don't want moldy carpet in my house with my two kids.
I have been trying to unpack and get settled with these three extra days off from work, but we mostly used the extra time to mess around. Why unpack when you can procrastinate? Actually, it's not going too badly. Everything is organized and put away except for part of one of my suitcases, and then the girls' things. The girls' things are taking over the house, though. I need to buckle down and get it done. We had three suitcases full of clothes and toys for the two of them, and then we were given loads more stuff every time we visited with friends and family. Miss M's bed is a mountain of stuffed animals at this point.
Miss M and I went exploring in the neighborhood today (which was MUCH more fun than organizing her toys). It's funny, you generally see your neighborhood through the life experiences you are having at the time you live there. The last time we lived here, Miss M was too little for playgrounds, so I never noticed any. This time, we spied one while on our way to the grocery store a few days ago, and we returned today to test it out. However, upon closer inspection, we realized that it was a playground meant for older kids, not toddlers. There weren't any swings, and it was sized for bigger kids, so much so that it was hard for her to climb on the equipment. After we played for a bit, I told Miss M that we'd look around for another one that was meant for kids her size. Thirty second later, just after buckling her back in the stroller, she yelled out "I see one--there it is!" Sure enough, a football field away there was another playground. I thought it was hilarious that she spotted it so quickly. When we got there, it was just perfect--sandbox full of communal toys, swings, correctly sized playground equipment, even bathrooms! She had a blast--so much so that we were late for the Halloween celebration in our building.
We went trick-or-treating after the playground, and Miss M had so much fun running around. She kept saying "it's fun to see their costumes" (as we saw other kids) and "this is fabulous!" After we finished, she told me that she wanted to go again. The trick now will be the candy. We don't usually let her have any, and now she has an entire bucket full. She started with a lollipop tonight, but spent more time playing with it than eating it, until I made her wrap it up so she could eat dinner.
There seem to be a lot of (young) families in our building, which is eight kinds of awesome. I'm hoping we meet some cool people soon, and also hoping that they have (nice) children who can be playmates with my children. It will be great for Miss M to have some local friends to hang with.
Finally, I'm nervous for preschool tomorrow. What if they're not nice to her? She's a bit bossy, but she is a very kind child, and she really focuses on it when children are mean to her. Some kids were mean to her a few months ago, and she told me all about it when I got home from work. She was so sad about it that it broke my heart. And she is still refusing to use the potty. What if they make fun of her? Oh, I hope this goes well. We've shielded her from bullies and mean kids, and I worry about her being exposed to them.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
The Eagle Has Landed
Thursday, October 25, 2012
SB at 7 Months and Change
Oh, what a joy you are! You are a happy, smiley, cherubic baby, and I love every minute that I spend with you. You have the most wonderful little personality.
It has been a long time since I have written you one of these posts, because it has been a very busy couple of months for us as we moved from Europe back to the U.S. (and in fact, we don't actually move into our own place for two more days--we are at Grammy's house right now, visiting). But you've weathered it all like a champ, charming everyone along the way.
You started rolling both ways back in August, and have now progressed to the point where you can turn yourself in the direction that you want, and then roll over and over again until you get there. It is pretty funny. You'll now get up on all fours as though you are going to crawl, and then rock back and forth, but you aren't quite crawling yet. You sometimes raise your arms and your legs while balancing on your tummy, trying desperately to crawl. You'll get there soon. You are not yet sitting up, and don't seem very interested. You can sit up when we put you in the position, though, resting on your arms. Your legs are very strong, too--you have been able to stand for more than a month, while holding on or leaning on something.
We started feeding you solid food at six months, and you have been eating very well. The only thing you don't like are peas. Other veggies and fruits and oatmeal and rice cereal have all gone down just fine. It is wonderful to have a child who eats! You are growing like a weed. We put you in the 9 month old clothing a six months, and you'll need to be out of it soon.
You were wonderful on the flight from Europe. You slept the entire flight, which was just amazing to me. The airline wouldn't let me use your carseat (the same carseat that Miss M flew over in when she was a baby), so you had to sleep in my arms. You just slept and slept, waking occasionally to eat, and I know everyone around us was impressed by how good you were. You are actually a pretty good sleeper, and will even sleep through the night occasionally. When you first starting turning over from back to tummy about two months ago or so, though, you'd wake yourself up and get upset, and out of desperation to get some sleep, I started letting you sleep with me. I swore that I would do things differently from how I did them with your sister, but I am a softie! You love to snuggle in with me and eat. It's working out just fine, and we are both getting plenty of sleep now. You wake and eat as you need (like?!), and I barely even wake to feed you. It's working for both of us, and I love our cuddle time. You are just a wonderful cuddler!
You are also, unfortunately, a terrible pincher. You have a lobster grasp. For a while, my breast was covered in little bruises from you pinching me while you nursed. We have worked on "no pinching," and you've gotten a bit better, but while hugging you sometimes give people a big pinch. It REALLY hurts, much more than I would have thought possible! You are crazy strong. Even thought it's painful, it cracks me up, because I cannot believe that such a little baby has that strength.
This month, you've had a chance to meet pretty much everyone--great-grammy, grampa, your uncle, and loads of cousins, friends, and other relatives. Everyone just loves you so much. You give them your big grins immediately, smile, giggle, and full-out belly laugh. You are just so full of joy and light. You even smile with your eyes.
You and Miss M already have a very special relationship. She just adores you, and constantly gives you hugs and kisses. She talks to you in a high-pitched voice that drives me a bit batty, but which you absolutely love and immediately respond to by smiling and laughing. The two of you get quite a kick out of each other. She is very protective of you, too. When we went to get each of you shots back in August, she went first, and cried bitterly when given her shots. When she realized that you were going to get them to, she tried to prevent us from taking you into the examination room, saying "no--no shots for my sister!" It was adorable. She always thinks of you, like this morning--"SB wants milk, too," when she got a cup of milk for herself. I am looking forward to seeing the two of you play together when you get a bit bigger.
You and your sister are the two best gifts I have ever been given. Every day with you is a wonderful adventure. I know that your daddy is looking forward to next month, when your sister will begin school, no only because it's a grand new chapter for her, but because he will get some special one-on-one time with you just like he had with your sister when she was little. I know you both will enjoy that time together.
I look forward to watching you grow and change, and seeing your little personality develop in the coming months. I love you so very much.
Love, Mom
Monday, October 22, 2012
I Did It!
Do you ever have those moments when seemingly disconnected or vague thoughts that have been floating around your head all of a sudden gel together into a clear path that you obviously must follow? That happened to me today. I was reading this post by the always-awesome Mel today, which references NaNoWriMo, and something just clicked for me. For those of you who don't know, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month. Basically, thousands of people attempt to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. I'd heard of NaNoWriMo before, but never paid much attention to it, because that seemed a bit. . .ambitious. But today. . .I signed up to do it!
I have bits and bobs of writing stashed all over the place. I like to write. I constantly put together snatches of dialogue and imagine characters and plots and beginnings and endings. However, I don't actually end up with much. I overanalyze and tell myself that everything is crap, and I basically kill the piece before it even gets started. I am someone who wants to be good at everything I do. With writing, I want everything to be so perfect that I get nowhere. It's ironic, because producing nothing is the ultimate failure.
But this month, I was reading something that really spoke to me about giving yourself permission to be less than perfect, and getting out there and doing what you want to do--that by simply giving yourself that permission, you free yourself up to accomplish far more than you otherwise might. Then, I had a funny conversation with my brother about his creative use of facial hair, which prompted me to think of a plot for a story (hey! wouldn't it be funny if. . .). Plus, I've been thinking about how I'd like to write more, and how I could carve more time out of my schedule to write. Then, I read Mel's post, in which she referenced NaNoWriMo. Cartoon lightbulbs went off over my head. I raced over to NaNoWriMo's website, read much of the material posted while the girls napped, then signed up. Hot damn!So, I give myself permission to fail. I give myself permission to be less than perfect. I give myself permission to write utter crap. I give myself permission to do it simply for the joy of doing it. I give myself permission to give up, even.
There basically could not be a worse time for me to be doing NaNoWriMo. On Saturday (as in, September 27, as in five days from today), I am moving to a new city. On Monday (as in, September 29), I start a new job (which, er, also involves me brushing up on my Spanish, for that assignment that I have in South America next year). Miss M also starts preschool next week. Then NaNoWriMo starts on Thursday. It cannot possibly work out. But that is the beauty of it.