Wednesday, December 26, 2012
A Christmas (Illness) To Remember
I am a bit late with my Christmas post, but I have a good reason. Christmas came with a cheerful holiday spirit, way too many gifts, and a plague upon our house. Needless to say, it's been an eventful week or so in our house.
First, SB woke me in the middle of the night a week ago with a sky high fever. She was whining, so I tried to feed her, still mostly asleep. That is our usual pattern. What came next was anything but usual, though. She refused to eat, which made me wake up fully, which made me realize that she was burning up. Her temp was 103-104.5, which freaked me out. She started shaking all over, and wouldn't open her eyes, and I was worried that it was a febrile seizure. We dosed her with Tylenol and gave her a cool bath (which made her scream), but I wanted to take her to the ER to have her checked out. She'd been fine when we went to bed, and the spiking fever and shaking had me worried.
Of course, I had no idea where the nearest hospital was. I googled, and we went to the closest one, which I had heard of and knew to be a large teaching hospital. Unfortunately, what I did not know is that there is a pediatric specialty hospital nearby, which is where everyone takes their sick children. No one goes to the hospital that we went to. They were so, so kind to us, but it quickly became apparent that the young doctors had little experience with kids. They decided a urinary infection was most likely (and ultimately this was the problem), but couldn't get a sample. They tried cath-ing her three times, and then kept applying these bag things to try to catch the urine, to no avail (the bags they had were old and faulty, and kept falling off every time she peed). They finally released us to the pediatrician (after almost EIGHT hours in the ER). Within an hour, the pediatrician's office had collected the sample, because they were well-equipped and deal with kids all of the time. I felt horrible that we hadn't insisted on leaving the ER sooner, but they kept insisting that we stayed until they could get a sample, and well, lesson learned.
Soooo, the next day SB started a course of augmentin. Within 24 hours of starting the medicine, SB's fever had come down and she appeared on the mend. Unfortunately, a nasty green diarrhea also accompanied it, but we dealt with it.
If only it had ended there. Alas, Miss M must have brought a bug home from school with her on Friday, along with the cards and presents she'd made for us. On Sunday, she refused to eat and she had stinky, liquid diarrhea. Then, SB began vomiting in the middle of the night, which continued all day. I consulted the pediatrician's office, and they opined that it was a stomach bug, and advised us to give her pedialyte and keep up with her medication.
Miss M was better on Monday. SB threw up for most of the day (is there anything worse than a vomiting infant?), but by Christmas Eve, they were both on the mend. But then T got sick, and then me. Argh. Still, we both felt better yesterday, and the girls were great.
Christmas itself was a magical, happy, way-too-many presents kind of day. Miss M was speechless at her dollhouse. She had eyes for nothing else once she saw it, and we had to tear her away to get her to open other presents. It was just how Christmas should be. We had a blast.
Our mothers both visited for Christmas, which was really nice. Sadly, my MIL's husband woke up sick this morning, and T and I were both worse again this morning. I stayed home from work. My MIL and FIL couldn't leave to head home, because he was too sick to drive.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Unease
I've been rattling around this space lately, anxious to post, but ripped in a million other directions every time I sit down to write. I stop by, I click through to read a blog or two and maybe even comment on what I've read, but then I get distracted by other things before I can sit and write (case in point, I am in the middle of studying, and taking a break, and as I type this, the baby has awoken and is wailing, and thus far T. is doing a mediocre job of calming her down). Really, current wailing aside, things are great--the kids, T, learning Spanish, my job. Truly, life has been lovely. And yet. . .
Something is gnawing at me, and I don't know what it is. I feel unquiet, on edge and afraid of something that is just off my periphery and which I cannot see. I am constantly worried, before breakfast thinking a half dozen worst-case scenarios of all different stripes. I am slowly driving myself mad.
I think perhaps the problem is that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, because things are indeed so good. I know what it means to struggle, to work hard, to try to overcome. I don't know how to exist in space where there is room to breathe, to live. It's making me antsy.
Okay, I really can't listen to that poor baby any longer. Daddy is lovely, but he's no mommy.
Something is gnawing at me, and I don't know what it is. I feel unquiet, on edge and afraid of something that is just off my periphery and which I cannot see. I am constantly worried, before breakfast thinking a half dozen worst-case scenarios of all different stripes. I am slowly driving myself mad.
I think perhaps the problem is that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, because things are indeed so good. I know what it means to struggle, to work hard, to try to overcome. I don't know how to exist in space where there is room to breathe, to live. It's making me antsy.
Okay, I really can't listen to that poor baby any longer. Daddy is lovely, but he's no mommy.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
On Being a Student Again, and Other Things
As it turns out, it proved to be impossible for me to both write fiction and learn Spanish in the span of a single month. It wasn't a time thing--I managed to carve out writing time from my day. Rather, t was a brain capacity issue. I find Spanish seeping into my mind at all hours of the day and night, and the creative stuff was clashing with it and interfering with my learning. So, I gave myself permission to stop NaNoWriMo. I'm pretty happy with what I put together during the time I was doing it, and I'll pick it back up in a few months when I'm not investing quite so much time in learning Spanish. The most valuable thing I got out of NaNoWriMo was not the actual product, but rather the much-needed reminder that if you put one foot in front of another, you do indeed reach your goal, however slowly you may walk.
I am LOVING learning Spanish. Truthfully, I don't know how much I am actually learning, and how much I am merely remembering. I had a phenomenal high school Spanish teacher, and bit by bit it has all been coming back to me. I took it for a couple of years in college, too, but it's my high school teacher that I hear whispering "wrong syll-AB-le" in my ear. It is such a joy to learn this language, and to have this time to do it. It's been a long time since I've learned something simply for the purpose of learning it, rather than for credit. There is a certain freedom to learning simply for the sake of learning that I relish. Of course, I'm not learning simply to learn--I need to be able to conduct business in Spanish. But still--I'm learning whatever I want, and not merely what some teacher wants me to learn. I'm learning with a larger goal, proficiency, rather than for a test. It's different. It is FUN.
And frankly, it's been easy to build on that early foundation. I never guessed that this would be the case. I expected it would be so much more difficult, given that it's been a good two decades since I set foot in a Spanish class. I've sporadically used it on vacation over the years, but nothing like this. It is really amazing to have words popping into my brain all of the time, and remembering their meaning. It's strange, actually, but in a really good way. It didn't all come back at once. It's more like, the more that I read and study, the more that I remember and know.
The only difficulty is that I would love more time to study, but since my work schedule is relatively relaxed right now, I am trying to spend more time with the kids. I thought I might study at night after their bedtime, but find that by then I am too burned out to absorb much. I thought I might get up early in the mornings, like 4:30 or 5am, and study before my morning class, but SB has been staying up a bit late, and that's been rough on my intended morning routine.
SB is a bit cranky of late (which is to say, occasionally she cries--she is still the smiliest, happiest baby that I have ever met). She is teething and growing and generally uncomfortable, constantly tugging at her ears (it's teeth and not an ear infection) until we dose her up with baby crack. She is still just the most awesome, lovely, huggy, happy baby ever. But more on her in a soon-to-be-written post. Suffice it to say, I love having an 8 month old--it is a wonderful, happy age, and watching her and Miss M interact and laugh and begin to play together is just AMAZING.
Miss M is also doing well. Preschool is going fairly well. I don't love it, but it seems good enough for the brief time we are here. Miss M seems to actually listen to her teachers. Every time I go to get her she is sitting still, paying attention, in a chair or wherever else she is supposed to be (unless she is supposed to be running around playing, in which case she happily complies). The other day, I asked her teachers if she listens to them, and they looked at me in surprise and said "yes, until Mommy gets here!" She was running out the door at the time, without her coat on of course. Argh. Three is both a glorious age, and a difficult one. We are trying to be kind and consistent, but there are definitely moments when I wonder where our lovely, pleasant, polite little angel went, and wonder how she became such a sassy, cantankerous bossypants.
We've been able to spend two weekends with family since we've moved here, which has been good for my girls and my family. I think, truth be told, that my family finds the full-on onslaught of a toddler and an infant to be a bit. . .chaotic. I wish I had a camera in my hand to memorialize the moment when my oldest decided she did not want to eat something, and spit it into my hand at the dinner table because she refused to wait one...more...second for anyone to get a napkin in front of her mouth. My stepfather's face was simply priceless, a study in horror and disgust. He loves the girls, but I think he's a bit mystified by them, too. Needless to say, he comes from a generation that was not actively engaged in child-rearing. He's been remarkably patient with it all, though. It's been a joy to watch my mom do ordinary things with my girls, like bake Christmas cookies with Miss M. These are the moments that I treasure, the ones we simply don't have when we are abroad. The beauty is in these simple joys.
We are settling into our life here, catching up with old friends and making new ones. We venture around the city on outings every chance we get, exploring new parks and museums. It was T's birthday this week, and we dragged the kids across the city on a weeknight (albeit at only 5pm) to visit a restaurant that he loves, for milkshakes and burgers and breakfast-for-dinner and homemade pop-tarts. It's a happy, family-friendly place with old-school yet trendy decor and a big ole bucket full of toys for the kids (in addition to high chairs AND booster seats and crayons and coloring paper and an awesome kids menu that includes pancakes for dinner). As the staff ogled our children as we headed to our booth, T happened to mention that we've been living abroad and he's been craving one of their adult milkshakes (because nothing makes a birthday milkshake better than booze!) for the last two years. They kindly sent his favorite one over, on the house. It was a big, kind, only-in-America gesture that made us love the place even more. We find these little, perfect moments around every corner here. Every day brings a new little blessing: a card in the mail for Miss M from a friend in Africa; an offer from a new playmate for a Play-doh playdate; running into an old friend on a pre-playground Starbucks run. This is a time of renewal for us, a time to reconnect with our friends and our family and our country, to learn a new language, to get ready for the next big adventure abroad. I am happy here, now, in this space. It's weird to think our time here is so short, and that in just over six months, we'll leave again for our next destination. I think that might be what makes this time so valuable, though--we know it's fleeting, and we are making the most of every moment.
I am LOVING learning Spanish. Truthfully, I don't know how much I am actually learning, and how much I am merely remembering. I had a phenomenal high school Spanish teacher, and bit by bit it has all been coming back to me. I took it for a couple of years in college, too, but it's my high school teacher that I hear whispering "wrong syll-AB-le" in my ear. It is such a joy to learn this language, and to have this time to do it. It's been a long time since I've learned something simply for the purpose of learning it, rather than for credit. There is a certain freedom to learning simply for the sake of learning that I relish. Of course, I'm not learning simply to learn--I need to be able to conduct business in Spanish. But still--I'm learning whatever I want, and not merely what some teacher wants me to learn. I'm learning with a larger goal, proficiency, rather than for a test. It's different. It is FUN.
And frankly, it's been easy to build on that early foundation. I never guessed that this would be the case. I expected it would be so much more difficult, given that it's been a good two decades since I set foot in a Spanish class. I've sporadically used it on vacation over the years, but nothing like this. It is really amazing to have words popping into my brain all of the time, and remembering their meaning. It's strange, actually, but in a really good way. It didn't all come back at once. It's more like, the more that I read and study, the more that I remember and know.
The only difficulty is that I would love more time to study, but since my work schedule is relatively relaxed right now, I am trying to spend more time with the kids. I thought I might study at night after their bedtime, but find that by then I am too burned out to absorb much. I thought I might get up early in the mornings, like 4:30 or 5am, and study before my morning class, but SB has been staying up a bit late, and that's been rough on my intended morning routine.
SB is a bit cranky of late (which is to say, occasionally she cries--she is still the smiliest, happiest baby that I have ever met). She is teething and growing and generally uncomfortable, constantly tugging at her ears (it's teeth and not an ear infection) until we dose her up with baby crack. She is still just the most awesome, lovely, huggy, happy baby ever. But more on her in a soon-to-be-written post. Suffice it to say, I love having an 8 month old--it is a wonderful, happy age, and watching her and Miss M interact and laugh and begin to play together is just AMAZING.
Miss M is also doing well. Preschool is going fairly well. I don't love it, but it seems good enough for the brief time we are here. Miss M seems to actually listen to her teachers. Every time I go to get her she is sitting still, paying attention, in a chair or wherever else she is supposed to be (unless she is supposed to be running around playing, in which case she happily complies). The other day, I asked her teachers if she listens to them, and they looked at me in surprise and said "yes, until Mommy gets here!" She was running out the door at the time, without her coat on of course. Argh. Three is both a glorious age, and a difficult one. We are trying to be kind and consistent, but there are definitely moments when I wonder where our lovely, pleasant, polite little angel went, and wonder how she became such a sassy, cantankerous bossypants.
We've been able to spend two weekends with family since we've moved here, which has been good for my girls and my family. I think, truth be told, that my family finds the full-on onslaught of a toddler and an infant to be a bit. . .chaotic. I wish I had a camera in my hand to memorialize the moment when my oldest decided she did not want to eat something, and spit it into my hand at the dinner table because she refused to wait one...more...second for anyone to get a napkin in front of her mouth. My stepfather's face was simply priceless, a study in horror and disgust. He loves the girls, but I think he's a bit mystified by them, too. Needless to say, he comes from a generation that was not actively engaged in child-rearing. He's been remarkably patient with it all, though. It's been a joy to watch my mom do ordinary things with my girls, like bake Christmas cookies with Miss M. These are the moments that I treasure, the ones we simply don't have when we are abroad. The beauty is in these simple joys.
We are settling into our life here, catching up with old friends and making new ones. We venture around the city on outings every chance we get, exploring new parks and museums. It was T's birthday this week, and we dragged the kids across the city on a weeknight (albeit at only 5pm) to visit a restaurant that he loves, for milkshakes and burgers and breakfast-for-dinner and homemade pop-tarts. It's a happy, family-friendly place with old-school yet trendy decor and a big ole bucket full of toys for the kids (in addition to high chairs AND booster seats and crayons and coloring paper and an awesome kids menu that includes pancakes for dinner). As the staff ogled our children as we headed to our booth, T happened to mention that we've been living abroad and he's been craving one of their adult milkshakes (because nothing makes a birthday milkshake better than booze!) for the last two years. They kindly sent his favorite one over, on the house. It was a big, kind, only-in-America gesture that made us love the place even more. We find these little, perfect moments around every corner here. Every day brings a new little blessing: a card in the mail for Miss M from a friend in Africa; an offer from a new playmate for a Play-doh playdate; running into an old friend on a pre-playground Starbucks run. This is a time of renewal for us, a time to reconnect with our friends and our family and our country, to learn a new language, to get ready for the next big adventure abroad. I am happy here, now, in this space. It's weird to think our time here is so short, and that in just over six months, we'll leave again for our next destination. I think that might be what makes this time so valuable, though--we know it's fleeting, and we are making the most of every moment.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Adult Education
I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but in order to effectively do the job that I accepted in South America next summer, I will need to speak fluent Spanish. My Spanish is currently, uh, a little rusty. It is fair to say that my Spanish use has been purely recreational in the past. When I signed on for this job, I was excited by the prospect that I would get some Spanish tutoring to help me get up to speed (and learn a more professional vocabulary that I used in say, the clubs in Barcelona).
It is completely fun to be studying and learning again. It's been YEARS since I was a student. On the other hand, the methodology my tutor is using is bothering me, so much so that I just tried to buy my high school Spanish book online, because the structure made so much more sense to me. I'm not sure what I imagined it would be like to work on my Spanish, but I didn't think I'd spend an hour spelling words out loud like we were at a deranged Spanish spelling bee. (Gabriel, He-Ah-bey-ere-ee-eh-elle, Gabriel). Boooo-ring! I need to give it a bit of time to see if it gets better, but I might need to switch instructors and go with a different process.
Day two of preschool seemed to go well. I don't know that this is the ideal preschool for us. This morning, when I asked the teacher how Miss M did yesterday (there was only one other student in the classroom at the time), she sort of craned her head to look at her and then clearly couldn't remember anything about her. There are only like eight kids in the class, so it really should not have been hard. When I specifically asked her whether she'd napped and if she'd eaten lunch, she couldn't remember. "I think she was okay?" she said, but it was clear that was a guess. I suppose that means that there were no major issues, because she probably would have remembered those. I think it's likely that it's more of a daycare and less of a preschool, but I'm trying not to be all Tiger Mom about it. It's preschool, and she's not even three, and I'm sending her more for the social aspects than anything else. We're only here for seven months, and she still has two years of preschool after this, because her birthday falls in January. I keep reminding myself that this place does not have to be the be-all, end-all, and the point is for her to have fun and enjoy herself.
We got there about an hour earlier today than yesterday, as I had an early meeting this morning, and it was clearly the hot drop-off time. The classroom was full of kids having full-blown meltdowns about being left at daycare. And my child? Yes, she would be the one who could barely pay attention to me long enough for me to say goodbye. The teacher tried to distract one of the distraught children by telling her she could paint, and that was all Miss M needed to hear. She wanted to paint--who cared that mommy was leaving?! She did not look back at me even once as I told her I was leaving! I'm glad she has that confidence. She was really excited to see me at the end of the day again, and was utterly exhausted by the time I picked her up. I think she might benefit from shorter days, or perhaps longer naps. She's a regular two-hour napper, but I suspect that she either isn't sleeping, or wakes too quickly due to the noise of the other children. She also is getting up an hour earlier than normal. I put her to bed an hour earlier tonight, too, hoping that she'll get a good night's sleep and wake well-rested in the morning.
I like to write in the morning, before anyone else is awake. It's so nice to be in a silent house with a hot cup of coffee and some quiet time for myself. This morning, however, I fell back asleep for an hour after my alarm went off, and had to race to get us to school and work on time, so there was no time for writing. I, too, was exhausted upon arriving home, but I made myself hit my writing target for the day. I can see that more than anything, NaNoWriMo is going to be an exercise in discipline. I don't find the idea generation or the writing to be particularly hard or time consuming--it's just making myself sit down and do it. Well, you know what they say--90% of success is just showing up. It's reaffirming for me that anything is possible, if only you take it one step at a time.
It is completely fun to be studying and learning again. It's been YEARS since I was a student. On the other hand, the methodology my tutor is using is bothering me, so much so that I just tried to buy my high school Spanish book online, because the structure made so much more sense to me. I'm not sure what I imagined it would be like to work on my Spanish, but I didn't think I'd spend an hour spelling words out loud like we were at a deranged Spanish spelling bee. (Gabriel, He-Ah-bey-ere-ee-eh-elle, Gabriel). Boooo-ring! I need to give it a bit of time to see if it gets better, but I might need to switch instructors and go with a different process.
Day two of preschool seemed to go well. I don't know that this is the ideal preschool for us. This morning, when I asked the teacher how Miss M did yesterday (there was only one other student in the classroom at the time), she sort of craned her head to look at her and then clearly couldn't remember anything about her. There are only like eight kids in the class, so it really should not have been hard. When I specifically asked her whether she'd napped and if she'd eaten lunch, she couldn't remember. "I think she was okay?" she said, but it was clear that was a guess. I suppose that means that there were no major issues, because she probably would have remembered those. I think it's likely that it's more of a daycare and less of a preschool, but I'm trying not to be all Tiger Mom about it. It's preschool, and she's not even three, and I'm sending her more for the social aspects than anything else. We're only here for seven months, and she still has two years of preschool after this, because her birthday falls in January. I keep reminding myself that this place does not have to be the be-all, end-all, and the point is for her to have fun and enjoy herself.
We got there about an hour earlier today than yesterday, as I had an early meeting this morning, and it was clearly the hot drop-off time. The classroom was full of kids having full-blown meltdowns about being left at daycare. And my child? Yes, she would be the one who could barely pay attention to me long enough for me to say goodbye. The teacher tried to distract one of the distraught children by telling her she could paint, and that was all Miss M needed to hear. She wanted to paint--who cared that mommy was leaving?! She did not look back at me even once as I told her I was leaving! I'm glad she has that confidence. She was really excited to see me at the end of the day again, and was utterly exhausted by the time I picked her up. I think she might benefit from shorter days, or perhaps longer naps. She's a regular two-hour napper, but I suspect that she either isn't sleeping, or wakes too quickly due to the noise of the other children. She also is getting up an hour earlier than normal. I put her to bed an hour earlier tonight, too, hoping that she'll get a good night's sleep and wake well-rested in the morning.
I like to write in the morning, before anyone else is awake. It's so nice to be in a silent house with a hot cup of coffee and some quiet time for myself. This morning, however, I fell back asleep for an hour after my alarm went off, and had to race to get us to school and work on time, so there was no time for writing. I, too, was exhausted upon arriving home, but I made myself hit my writing target for the day. I can see that more than anything, NaNoWriMo is going to be an exercise in discipline. I don't find the idea generation or the writing to be particularly hard or time consuming--it's just making myself sit down and do it. Well, you know what they say--90% of success is just showing up. It's reaffirming for me that anything is possible, if only you take it one step at a time.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
The First Day of Preschool
I got up early this morning, before my alarm even went off. The baby woke up full of sunshine and joy and wanted to nurse. She fell back asleep, so I got up and wrote for a while. All too soon, it was time to wake up Miss M, who was still snoozing away. I crawled into bed with her and slowly woke her up for her first day of school.
She agreed to get out of bed and watch cartoons, but was slow to wake. When I came back from my shower, she was eating a whole grain Eggo waffle while watching cartoons. T dressed her in the clothes we had laid out the night before: skinny jeans and a trendy striped Gap sweater, with a pair of slip-on Merrill's, and capped with an adorable red wool Gap coat. When I finished getting ready, she was finally raring to go off to school, and we all loaded in the car.
At every stoplight, she wanted to know why we were stopping. She wanted to go to school! When we got there, T gave her a hug, and I took some "first day of school" pictures of her and daddy. He stayed in the car with SB while I brought her in. I tried to take some pictures of her in front of the school, but most are just shots of her back as she is walking in, because she was ready to go.
I signed her in and took her to her classroom, and as we walked there, she told me that she "loves this place." I have to say, it was really nice. We hadn't visited before, given that we applied from Europe. In her classroom, kids were already playing, and she had her coat off and melded in with the rest of the group before I knew it. I spoke with the teacher for a brief minute and put her things in her cubby, and by the time I turned around, she was surrounded by a bevy of new friends, playing away. I told her that I was leaving and that I would be back later, and she said goodbye while barely looking my way. This, from the child who has never been to daycare, never even been babysat by someone who was not very, very well-known to her. I teared up a little to see what a big girl she is.
When I picked her up this afternoon, she seemed a little sad as I walked through the door. She rushed over to me with open arms. "Mommy," she said, "you came back!" I think she had started to be afraid we would not return for her, which broke my heart. She perked up immediately, so much so that when we reached the front door to leave, she started getting upset that she had to leave, and wanted to stay. I had to promise that she could come back tomorrow. I think she needed me to come visit, and then wanted me to go away again!
On the way home, she chattered away about her day. She claims she had cookies and bread for lunch, and juice and milk in real cups, which she said she spilled. She said a girl cried, and they played on the playground, and she didn't get to paint. She was sunny and full of joy about all of it, and seems unscathed. I am so relieved.
I picked her up a little early, so I didn't get a chance to talk with the teacher to see how she did, and how she ate, and whether (and what time) she napped. I hope to get in there early tomorrow to try to talk with her, to get her perspective. Things were so hectic this morning that I didn't get a chance to warn them that she doesn't eat much, or that she only likes to drink milk, or that she isn't potty trained but I think we are close. I suppose those aren't necessary things, really--her backpack was full of diapers for her cubby, and everything else was obvious (or she'd make it known). I probably need to let go a little bit, anyway.
Oh, and my first day back at work was fine, although it was hard to sit still through boring meetings. And I easily met my target word count for NaNoWriMo, and it's not the worst thing I have ever written. I think this is going to be a fun month.
She agreed to get out of bed and watch cartoons, but was slow to wake. When I came back from my shower, she was eating a whole grain Eggo waffle while watching cartoons. T dressed her in the clothes we had laid out the night before: skinny jeans and a trendy striped Gap sweater, with a pair of slip-on Merrill's, and capped with an adorable red wool Gap coat. When I finished getting ready, she was finally raring to go off to school, and we all loaded in the car.
At every stoplight, she wanted to know why we were stopping. She wanted to go to school! When we got there, T gave her a hug, and I took some "first day of school" pictures of her and daddy. He stayed in the car with SB while I brought her in. I tried to take some pictures of her in front of the school, but most are just shots of her back as she is walking in, because she was ready to go.
I signed her in and took her to her classroom, and as we walked there, she told me that she "loves this place." I have to say, it was really nice. We hadn't visited before, given that we applied from Europe. In her classroom, kids were already playing, and she had her coat off and melded in with the rest of the group before I knew it. I spoke with the teacher for a brief minute and put her things in her cubby, and by the time I turned around, she was surrounded by a bevy of new friends, playing away. I told her that I was leaving and that I would be back later, and she said goodbye while barely looking my way. This, from the child who has never been to daycare, never even been babysat by someone who was not very, very well-known to her. I teared up a little to see what a big girl she is.
When I picked her up this afternoon, she seemed a little sad as I walked through the door. She rushed over to me with open arms. "Mommy," she said, "you came back!" I think she had started to be afraid we would not return for her, which broke my heart. She perked up immediately, so much so that when we reached the front door to leave, she started getting upset that she had to leave, and wanted to stay. I had to promise that she could come back tomorrow. I think she needed me to come visit, and then wanted me to go away again!
On the way home, she chattered away about her day. She claims she had cookies and bread for lunch, and juice and milk in real cups, which she said she spilled. She said a girl cried, and they played on the playground, and she didn't get to paint. She was sunny and full of joy about all of it, and seems unscathed. I am so relieved.
I picked her up a little early, so I didn't get a chance to talk with the teacher to see how she did, and how she ate, and whether (and what time) she napped. I hope to get in there early tomorrow to try to talk with her, to get her perspective. Things were so hectic this morning that I didn't get a chance to warn them that she doesn't eat much, or that she only likes to drink milk, or that she isn't potty trained but I think we are close. I suppose those aren't necessary things, really--her backpack was full of diapers for her cubby, and everything else was obvious (or she'd make it known). I probably need to let go a little bit, anyway.
Oh, and my first day back at work was fine, although it was hard to sit still through boring meetings. And I easily met my target word count for NaNoWriMo, and it's not the worst thing I have ever written. I think this is going to be a fun month.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Post-Frankenstorm Update
I still have not started work, because first there was the hurricane, and then the power has been out at my new office. Because there was no work, Miss M also has not started preschool. Tomorrow is the big day for both of us. Tomorrow is also November 1, so I will also be starting NaNoWriMo tomorrow. For NaNoWritMo, I have an idea that I really like, I have some thoughts on where I'd like the story to go, and I am super excited about starting writing. But starting a new job, starting preschool, and starting NaNoWriMo all at the same time? I must be losing my mind. Oh, and a friend emailed and said he's in town tomorrow and Friday, and would we like to get together?
We survived the storm just fine. We never even lost power. We did, however, suffer some leaks. This building must need a lot of work, since it appears to be made from stone/cement. We had about five leaks, to be precise. Leaks 1-3 were around the windows, and leaked onto the sills. . .no big deal. I put a bowl under one, and mopped up the other two. Leak #4 was from the ceiling, and leaked onto carpet. This one is a little more problematic. We put a bucket under it once we discovered it, but the carpet was already wet at that point. The plaster in the ceiling is starting to come down. Leak #5 is the doozy, though--a giant section of our living room carpet is soaking wet, as is the rug pad underneath it. The wooden baseboard is rotten all along the area, so clearly this is a long-standing problem. I need to inspect more, but it also appears that the bottom of the tv cabinet is moldy. They sent a guy to vacuum up the water, but that did little/nothing to remedy the problem. The carpet and carpet pad are both soaked. I think this is going to require me being a pain in the ass to get it all fixed. . .ie, writing a letter that cites the relevant state laws about wet and mold and what their obligations are. I hate be heavy-handed, when we have just moved in, but they don't seem to be in a hurry to fix things, and I don't want moldy carpet in my house with my two kids.
I have been trying to unpack and get settled with these three extra days off from work, but we mostly used the extra time to mess around. Why unpack when you can procrastinate? Actually, it's not going too badly. Everything is organized and put away except for part of one of my suitcases, and then the girls' things. The girls' things are taking over the house, though. I need to buckle down and get it done. We had three suitcases full of clothes and toys for the two of them, and then we were given loads more stuff every time we visited with friends and family. Miss M's bed is a mountain of stuffed animals at this point.
Miss M and I went exploring in the neighborhood today (which was MUCH more fun than organizing her toys). It's funny, you generally see your neighborhood through the life experiences you are having at the time you live there. The last time we lived here, Miss M was too little for playgrounds, so I never noticed any. This time, we spied one while on our way to the grocery store a few days ago, and we returned today to test it out. However, upon closer inspection, we realized that it was a playground meant for older kids, not toddlers. There weren't any swings, and it was sized for bigger kids, so much so that it was hard for her to climb on the equipment. After we played for a bit, I told Miss M that we'd look around for another one that was meant for kids her size. Thirty second later, just after buckling her back in the stroller, she yelled out "I see one--there it is!" Sure enough, a football field away there was another playground. I thought it was hilarious that she spotted it so quickly. When we got there, it was just perfect--sandbox full of communal toys, swings, correctly sized playground equipment, even bathrooms! She had a blast--so much so that we were late for the Halloween celebration in our building.
We went trick-or-treating after the playground, and Miss M had so much fun running around. She kept saying "it's fun to see their costumes" (as we saw other kids) and "this is fabulous!" After we finished, she told me that she wanted to go again. The trick now will be the candy. We don't usually let her have any, and now she has an entire bucket full. She started with a lollipop tonight, but spent more time playing with it than eating it, until I made her wrap it up so she could eat dinner.
There seem to be a lot of (young) families in our building, which is eight kinds of awesome. I'm hoping we meet some cool people soon, and also hoping that they have (nice) children who can be playmates with my children. It will be great for Miss M to have some local friends to hang with.
Finally, I'm nervous for preschool tomorrow. What if they're not nice to her? She's a bit bossy, but she is a very kind child, and she really focuses on it when children are mean to her. Some kids were mean to her a few months ago, and she told me all about it when I got home from work. She was so sad about it that it broke my heart. And she is still refusing to use the potty. What if they make fun of her? Oh, I hope this goes well. We've shielded her from bullies and mean kids, and I worry about her being exposed to them.
We survived the storm just fine. We never even lost power. We did, however, suffer some leaks. This building must need a lot of work, since it appears to be made from stone/cement. We had about five leaks, to be precise. Leaks 1-3 were around the windows, and leaked onto the sills. . .no big deal. I put a bowl under one, and mopped up the other two. Leak #4 was from the ceiling, and leaked onto carpet. This one is a little more problematic. We put a bucket under it once we discovered it, but the carpet was already wet at that point. The plaster in the ceiling is starting to come down. Leak #5 is the doozy, though--a giant section of our living room carpet is soaking wet, as is the rug pad underneath it. The wooden baseboard is rotten all along the area, so clearly this is a long-standing problem. I need to inspect more, but it also appears that the bottom of the tv cabinet is moldy. They sent a guy to vacuum up the water, but that did little/nothing to remedy the problem. The carpet and carpet pad are both soaked. I think this is going to require me being a pain in the ass to get it all fixed. . .ie, writing a letter that cites the relevant state laws about wet and mold and what their obligations are. I hate be heavy-handed, when we have just moved in, but they don't seem to be in a hurry to fix things, and I don't want moldy carpet in my house with my two kids.
I have been trying to unpack and get settled with these three extra days off from work, but we mostly used the extra time to mess around. Why unpack when you can procrastinate? Actually, it's not going too badly. Everything is organized and put away except for part of one of my suitcases, and then the girls' things. The girls' things are taking over the house, though. I need to buckle down and get it done. We had three suitcases full of clothes and toys for the two of them, and then we were given loads more stuff every time we visited with friends and family. Miss M's bed is a mountain of stuffed animals at this point.
Miss M and I went exploring in the neighborhood today (which was MUCH more fun than organizing her toys). It's funny, you generally see your neighborhood through the life experiences you are having at the time you live there. The last time we lived here, Miss M was too little for playgrounds, so I never noticed any. This time, we spied one while on our way to the grocery store a few days ago, and we returned today to test it out. However, upon closer inspection, we realized that it was a playground meant for older kids, not toddlers. There weren't any swings, and it was sized for bigger kids, so much so that it was hard for her to climb on the equipment. After we played for a bit, I told Miss M that we'd look around for another one that was meant for kids her size. Thirty second later, just after buckling her back in the stroller, she yelled out "I see one--there it is!" Sure enough, a football field away there was another playground. I thought it was hilarious that she spotted it so quickly. When we got there, it was just perfect--sandbox full of communal toys, swings, correctly sized playground equipment, even bathrooms! She had a blast--so much so that we were late for the Halloween celebration in our building.
We went trick-or-treating after the playground, and Miss M had so much fun running around. She kept saying "it's fun to see their costumes" (as we saw other kids) and "this is fabulous!" After we finished, she told me that she wanted to go again. The trick now will be the candy. We don't usually let her have any, and now she has an entire bucket full. She started with a lollipop tonight, but spent more time playing with it than eating it, until I made her wrap it up so she could eat dinner.
There seem to be a lot of (young) families in our building, which is eight kinds of awesome. I'm hoping we meet some cool people soon, and also hoping that they have (nice) children who can be playmates with my children. It will be great for Miss M to have some local friends to hang with.
Finally, I'm nervous for preschool tomorrow. What if they're not nice to her? She's a bit bossy, but she is a very kind child, and she really focuses on it when children are mean to her. Some kids were mean to her a few months ago, and she told me all about it when I got home from work. She was so sad about it that it broke my heart. And she is still refusing to use the potty. What if they make fun of her? Oh, I hope this goes well. We've shielded her from bullies and mean kids, and I worry about her being exposed to them.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
The Eagle Has Landed
We moved into our new place today. Actually, our old place--we lived in this building the last time we were in the U.S.. It feels like home, which is strange when you consider that we only lived here for about three months the last time. But that was the start of this grand adventure that we've been on for the last few years, the beginning of our new life, and so it's home. It's nice to move to a different city, and yet know the neighborhood. A few things have changed around here, but in mostly good ways--we discovered a great, cheap burrito place; there's a great newish playground; there's a new bagel place. It was fun to walk around today with Miss M and talk to her about how we lived here when she was just a baby like SB.
We did a bit of unpacking, then some grocery shopping. Is it just me, or have grocery prices REALLY gone up? I know we are in a big city, but we just paid $8 for a jar of peanut butter, and $7.50 for a tub of greek yogurt! I've been joking that we are going to commute to buy groceries in the suburbs.
Tomorrow we are going to go and visit Miss M's new school, just to prepare her for Monday, when she will start (as long as the weather cooperates, that is). We've been talking with her a lot about starting school, but in all of the recent chaos, I forgot to get a book to prepare her. For all of our other big changes, like SB's birth and the move and potty training, we bought books and read them every night to help prepare her, and it worked really well. In hindsight, I wish we'd done the same for school. Still, we've been talking about it every day, about how mommy and daddy and SB will go with her, but then we'll leave her there with her new teacher and her new friends and she will play all day. Today was the first day she voiced some concern about this plan. Before now she's always been really excited. I reassured her that I would be nearby, and that her teacher could call me and I would come back if she really needed me. Hopefully, it will go smoothly.
I'm looking forward to her going to preschool, because I know she needs the stimulation, and I'm excited for all of the new things she will learn and be able to relay to us, but it's bittersweet. All of a sudden, she's almost THREE. How is it possible that she's been with us three years already?! My little baby is growing up. She's been at home with one of us her whole life. She's never stayed with "strangers" before. Her whole world has been created by us up until now. When she has said something, we know exactly where it comes from--we get all of the references, because we've been with her every step of the way. And now, all of that will be different. I know it's a good thing and a healthy thing and a necessary thing (at some point), but it's also a little scary to let her out of our sight, out of our care. But then, it's clear that she's also ready.
And then, there is Frankenstorm. We tried to buy water today, and the grocery store was completely sold out. There was a half an aisle that was completely empty. I am still hoping that the storm just turns and goes out to sea. Nobody needs a freak hurrican/nor'easter/storm!
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