Appetizers

Life right now, in snippets:

• SB had her first birthday last week, which I have to blog about.  How did she get so old?  Where did the last year go?  She continues to be such a mellow, loving, happy child.  We adore her.  I never imagined a 1 year old could be relaxing, and yet she is.  I've never met a baby that gives better hugs.  She is such a calming influence on me.  Which is good, because life can be stressful!

• I found a lump in my breast a few weeks ago.  It's near the chest wall, and tough to feel unless I am pumping/have just finished pumping.  The women's imaging center at the local hospital refused to do a mammogram, because I am still nursing.  (The woman said I would squirt milk all over their equipment.    Um, I've never been able to get a drop of milk out when I squeeze, since that's not how human lactation works, but whatever.)  They did an ultrasound, and couldn't find the lump.  The radiologist said this was a good sign, but I am not convinced.  I can still feel it, and I don't feel like it's milk-related.  She said I should come back for an ultrasound two months after I finish weaning.  I'm uncomfortable with the situation, but I think the mammogram is the next stop.  

• We have started weaning.  SB is drinking some cow's milk and having some mixed with her cereal, and is drinking some breast milk.  I have started to cut back on pumping.  Honestly, I wouldn't be in a hurry if I didn't need the damn mammogram, and if we were not moving to Latin America in a few months.  If it takes us a month or so to wean, and then I wait two months, I will just have enough time to get the mammogram before we move.  And if it shows something?  That will be a nightmare on every level.  But back to weaning:  SB has been losing interest in breastfeeding during the day, anyway.  She doesn't want to sit still for the time it takes to nurse.  She'd rather drink from a bottle, because it's faster and easier.  She is still nursing at night a fair amount, but I think it's because she's suddenly started teething again, and not because she's hungry.  She's equally happy with her pacifier, so I've been trying to substitute it when I can.  I am really going to miss nursing her, and am sad about weaning.  But I won't miss that pump!

• SB has only two teeth, on the bottom.  She got them in, and then basically stopped teething for months and months.  That has been nice.  Then, 4-5 days ago, she started teething again in earnest, and I am getting no sleep.  She's not fussy or anything--just restless and rolling around a lot, which wakes me up a lot.  Oh, and she's a little grumpy.  Tylenol helps, and yesterday and today have been better, but DH said she was really unhappy all day on Friday (her birthday, poor dear!)

• Every day we inch a little closer to our departure date.  I suddenly realized that I have this long list of doctors I need to see before we leave the U.S..  Like, I need an eye exam (I'm wearing my last pair of contacts, and they are old and must be replaced), and need to see a dermatologist and a gastroenterologist, and have blood work, and then there's that lump I found, and my back is bothering me, etc., etc.  In essence, lots of smaller, annoying appointments, for mostly small, annoying complaints that I need to get to before I move to a developing country.  I made myself start booking them last week.  So far, I've taken care of the blood work and had some xrays done on my back (the doctor thinks it's a muscular issue, but wanted to get a closer look--I also have to get a massage to see if that helps).  Up next:  eye exam and dermatologist and massage.  Yuck.  I hate doing this stuff.  

• I am coming to the end of my Spanish lessons.  I am a bit nervous about it.  I think that I've attained sufficient proficiency, but it's so hard to tell.  It's so subjective, and a lot of it depends on the topic of conversation and other variables.  As with anything in life, some things are better than others.  Still, I'm worried that they won't think that I'm sufficiently proficient.  Argh.  I better go study some more!