I've been so busy worrying about, well, everything else, that I forgot that I need to have an MRI today. It's just a followup MRI to verify that this thingy in my abdomen that they think is nothing is in fact nothing. It appeared on a scan I had last year, and they think it's just a quirk of my own anatomy. I was supposed to have the repeat scan six months after the initial one, just to confirm that the thingy was the same and not growing or anything, but my doctor knew that I was trying to get pregnant, and told me to keep trying. She said that if I wasn't pregnant in three months, we'd do the repeat scan then, and otherwise, we'd do it after I had the baby. I've read the radiology report myself, and it actually made the repeat scan sound optional. My doctor recommended it, but didn't think there was any rush.
I've been doing everything I can to bank milk in advance of the MRI, because I have to pump and dump for two days due to the contrast (which is radioactive, I think). We should have just enough milk stored up, with a few extra "just in case". It's been hard to bank milk while also feeding her through a growth spurt. Fingers crossed that we have enough milk to get through the next 48 hours.
I am really stressing this morning about the MRI. I don't want to have it done. I hate having to have the contrast. Even though I've had it before, I always worry about having a bad reaction (because I'm neurotic like that). I also hate having to go in that little tube of a machine. I'm not claustrophobic, but it feels very confining, and it's so loud. I know they have MRI machines now that aren't all closed in, but I also know that my hospital doesn't have one of them yet. Sigh. I am dreading this appointment.
And then there is the nagging little worry that maybe the scan will pick something bad up. I am trying to be positive, but I can't help but have a little anxiety over that. Things have been so good, with the baby and the new job. It makes me worry that something is going to come along and ruin everything. I am such a worrier.
Okay, happy thoughts now. Writing this has unloaded all of the bad thoughts, and it's going to be just fine.