Monday, August 15, 2011

One Week

My anxiety is slowly ratcheting up regarding the chorionic villus sampling, which is scheduled for a week from today. When I scheduled the last one, it was all very 11th hour, so I didn't have any time to fuss over it. But we scheduled this weeks ago, and the closer it gets, the scarier it seems. If T. were going to be there, it would be so much easier. But I'm going to have to be a big girl and suck it up through the discomfort and scariness all by myself. Like the blood draw last week, the anticipation of the needle and the accompanying pain is probably going to be worse than the actuality. I'm committed to doing it, but I'm dreading it. I wish there had been time to do the NT scan and bloodwork, not that those tests would have made the actual CVS any easier. But, it would have felt more like wading in.

I'm 10.5 weeks now. It seems impossible that I'm that far along. This pregnancy is already 1/4 over. Time is flying by. I took belly photos for the first time last week, and once I saw them, I calmed down about being "huge." I'm growing out of my pants, but I'm not any bigger, really, than I was at the same point with Miss M. I just FEEL huge because all of a sudden, none of my work clothes fit. I opened up the maternity clothes box last week with great anticipation, excited to find work clothes that fit, but quickly realized that I'm utterly sick of everything that's in there. It's so funny--I was so happy with the stuff during my first pregnancy, and felt great about my clothes. Now I don't like any of it.

Even though I'm still feeling very unsure of this pregnancy, I did go ahead and order some new maternity clothes from Gap. They were all on sale and I had a coupon, so they were very inexpensive. I didn't get much--just a few pieces. I figure that if everything goes well next week with the test, I will buy some new things while I'm in the States. In particular, I desperately need maternity jeans that fit. I have at least a half dozen pairs, and they all fall off me. I find it so annoying to have to constantly yank my pants up. I just want comfortable pants that fit! Is that too much to ask?! If you know of a brand that fits slim women of average height who have no hips, please let me know.

I have absolute piles of work to do. August was supposed to be my slow month! I had set aside time this afternoon to review a giant stack of paperwork that I need to read in advance of an all-day meeting tomorrow. Of course, just as I was about to start reading, an urgent email came in that required that I read a different giant stack of paperwork. I never got to the other stuff I was supposed to read. So, lucky me, I brought it home with me, and now I have to read it all before 9am tomorrow. I guess I'd better get off my butt and start.


~Jess said...

Deep breaths! Pay for my plane ticket and I'll come hold your hand :-)

YAY for new clothes: I'm not bothering buying anything...what I have is what I'll wear...I'm home and don't need to be a fashion plate...fortunately.

Good luck finishing all your reading!

sadie607 said...

Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. Waiting is always so awful and anxiety provoking. I'm sorry you're husband can't be there with you.