Yesterday was a gorgeous, sunny summer Saturday, and a glorious day to be out and about doing summer things. Today. . .not so much. Pouring rain, and cold. I've spent the entire day catching up on some reading, much of it in my jammies. There are so many days that the skies just say "don't get out of bed," and yet so few when I can actually listen.
Among the things I've read today were the first three chapters of Randy Pausch's book "The Last Lecture." I cried through every page, although the book itself is very uplifting. The premise goes to one of my deepest fears, which is why I found it so disturbing even though it's not meant to be. The idea of my husband dying and leaving me terrifies me. I think it's because his own father died at a young age. . .I have always worried the same fate will befall him. I am nonetheless determined to work my way through the book, despite how sad I am finding it. I need to find a way to put my fears to rest, as they are simply not useful.
There are so many feelings that I've been experiencing that I have realized are no longer serving me. I've also spent some time catching up on blogs today. I was particularly struck by this post:
I want each year of my life to get better and better, to live up to the bumper sticker picked out years ago by a friend from an English class that says "Destined to be an old woman with no regrets". On the sticker is a woman at the beach wearing a one piece suit and a floppy wide-brimmed hat, waving in a care-free "Mary Tyler Moore" moment.
I want to be her. The woman who lived and lived well. Who sucked up every horrible terrible moment, set them beside all the laughter and smiles and love, and declared her adventure of a life, equal and balanced. I want to be the one who at the end of her days, casually waves it all away like a dream and sends her spirit, her soul out into the energy of the Universe to be mixed, melded and dispersed with everyone else. To be everything and nothing all at the same time.
I am in something of an in-between place right now on so many levels. I have some sense of where I want to go, but no idea whether I will actually get there. I know what I really want, but I'm not sure if it can be achieved, both personally and professionally. And in some respects, I feel held back and weighed down by so many thoughts and feelings and issues big and little.
As I mused over the above post and read throughout the day, it all became clear to me. I need to just face the things that are weighing me down. I need to figure out how to cast them off of me. I have been waiting for the right time, thinking things will sort themselves out, thinking that if I wait a bit longer, I will have more time in my schedule to deal with all of it, or that it will just fall away. But it's been six months that I've felt this way, and it's clear that it's simply not going to happen on its own. In some aspects of my life, I've become a passive observer, and that just doesn't work.
If I want to truly have lived a life without any regrets, if I am to be that old woman who has LIVED, then I need to make some things happen for myself RIGHT NOW. I believe that if you want something in this life and you work to make it happen for yourself, you will get it. You might not get it exactly how you thought you were going to get it, but you'll get it just the same. It's so easy, though, to get complacent and stop actively pursuing what you want, and that's sort of where I've been lately.
I have almost three weeks of vacation time that I haven't taken. It expires in five months. Tomorrow when I go to work, I'm going to arrange to take a week in early July. I'm going to spend that week casting off the bow lines. The issues, the problems, the things weighing me down are not enormous. They are not insurmountable. They just need time and attention and dedication and commitment, and a week of that should be more than enough. I both dread it and look forward to the freedom that I expect I will feel when every last demon has been vanquished.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Edited to Show & Tell: 9w1d & First Appointment with New OB's Office
I totally forgot about the big Show & Tell move. Today's the day, so be sure to check out what the rest of the class is showing.
As fair warning, my Show & Tell will be very boring for anyone who's had a successful pregnancy, and irritating for anyone who is still trying, and for that, I apologize in advance. Please move on down the list to check out the rest of the class, if you're in a bad baby place. And without further ado, here it is:
It didn't scan great, but if you look closely, you can see the baby's head on the right side of the u/s. I had my first appointment with my new OB's office this morning, which resulted in a surprise ultrasound. I think I am really going to like it there. First, they are really, really nice. Second, their office is very attractive and has good magazines (which aren't just pregnancy related, like my old OB's office), which makes it relaxing to go there.
When I first sat down with the NP, she went over my history in detail, let me ask lots of questions, and went over lots of options. When I told her I was struggling with making a choice on testing, she offered to refer me to a local MFM so that I could have a more in-depth discussion. Compare this with my first (unsuccessful) pregancy, where at my first appointment, the NP glossed over everything, and then told me that "of course you'll have an amnio." No discussion about it--just, at your age, of course you'll have it. Since I was fairly sure something was wrong (I'd been bleeding for two weeks), I didn't dwell on it, but now that I'm back in this position again, it makes me mad to think of how little attention she paid to the testing issue, and how she gave me NO options.
The NP seemed to totally understand the stress of previous loss, too. She tried to do the doppler to find the baby's heart rate, but warned me in advance that at 9 weeks, you can only hear the baby's heartbeat on doppler about 60% of the time. She also warned me that if I have a tipped ute (which I do), that makes it less likely that we'd be able to hear it. And (and for this I loved her), she said that we could have an ultrasound if we couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler.
We couldn't hear the heartbeat on the doppler, but she'd already made me so comfortable that I wasn't worried at all. I waited a few minutes, and they did an ultrasound. I was pleased to discover that they have really good equipment right there in the office. It was an abdominal one this time, which I was psyched about. We not only got to see the baby and the heartbeat, but we got to hear it! The heart rate was 180 beats per minute. The tech spent some time showing us stuff. (There is the baby's head. Oh my, the baby has a head! Oh my, the baby is moving!). It was amazing. Then, she printed us out two huge pictures.
So, things continue to go well. I'm Rh-positive, so I won't need Rhogam. They will be calling me later to schedule the MFM genetic counseling session. Right this second, I'm leaning toward the early risk screen (Nuchal fold, and two blood tests), and then amnio. But, it's all subject to change still. If you have thoughts or experiences with prenatal testing, I'd love to hear them.
Update: I heard back from the office about the MFM session. They scheduled me for nuchal fold test and blood work on 6/30, and I'll also talk to a genetic counselor that day. My Level 2 ultrasound is also already scheduled for early August. It is really starting to feel real.
As fair warning, my Show & Tell will be very boring for anyone who's had a successful pregnancy, and irritating for anyone who is still trying, and for that, I apologize in advance. Please move on down the list to check out the rest of the class, if you're in a bad baby place. And without further ado, here it is:
It didn't scan great, but if you look closely, you can see the baby's head on the right side of the u/s. I had my first appointment with my new OB's office this morning, which resulted in a surprise ultrasound. I think I am really going to like it there. First, they are really, really nice. Second, their office is very attractive and has good magazines (which aren't just pregnancy related, like my old OB's office), which makes it relaxing to go there.
When I first sat down with the NP, she went over my history in detail, let me ask lots of questions, and went over lots of options. When I told her I was struggling with making a choice on testing, she offered to refer me to a local MFM so that I could have a more in-depth discussion. Compare this with my first (unsuccessful) pregancy, where at my first appointment, the NP glossed over everything, and then told me that "of course you'll have an amnio." No discussion about it--just, at your age, of course you'll have it. Since I was fairly sure something was wrong (I'd been bleeding for two weeks), I didn't dwell on it, but now that I'm back in this position again, it makes me mad to think of how little attention she paid to the testing issue, and how she gave me NO options.
The NP seemed to totally understand the stress of previous loss, too. She tried to do the doppler to find the baby's heart rate, but warned me in advance that at 9 weeks, you can only hear the baby's heartbeat on doppler about 60% of the time. She also warned me that if I have a tipped ute (which I do), that makes it less likely that we'd be able to hear it. And (and for this I loved her), she said that we could have an ultrasound if we couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler.
We couldn't hear the heartbeat on the doppler, but she'd already made me so comfortable that I wasn't worried at all. I waited a few minutes, and they did an ultrasound. I was pleased to discover that they have really good equipment right there in the office. It was an abdominal one this time, which I was psyched about. We not only got to see the baby and the heartbeat, but we got to hear it! The heart rate was 180 beats per minute. The tech spent some time showing us stuff. (There is the baby's head. Oh my, the baby has a head! Oh my, the baby is moving!). It was amazing. Then, she printed us out two huge pictures.
So, things continue to go well. I'm Rh-positive, so I won't need Rhogam. They will be calling me later to schedule the MFM genetic counseling session. Right this second, I'm leaning toward the early risk screen (Nuchal fold, and two blood tests), and then amnio. But, it's all subject to change still. If you have thoughts or experiences with prenatal testing, I'd love to hear them.
Update: I heard back from the office about the MFM session. They scheduled me for nuchal fold test and blood work on 6/30, and I'll also talk to a genetic counselor that day. My Level 2 ultrasound is also already scheduled for early August. It is really starting to feel real.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Today's Random Musings
As I am sitting here trying to eat my dinner, my cat just threw up all over the place. . .four times in a row. Guess how excited I'm not to clean that up? So gross.
I had my first doctor's appointment scheduled for this morning, but right as I was leaving the house, they called to cancel. I guess I'd rather get canceled on than have some virus passed on to me (she was sick), but I was still disappointed. Luckily, they were able to reschedule me for Thursday morning. I am anxious to talk to them about the genetic testing. I am anxious to get it over with. I feel like no matter how well things are going (knock wood), I can't really believe in this pregnancy until we are through with the testing.
The more I think about the testing, the more I think maybe I'm being a little unreasonable about feeling like I NEED to do CVS or amnio. It seems like no one does them any more, unless they are found to be high risk after the screening tests. I was thinking that a risk of 1 in 5000 still feels like too much of a risk. And then I read something this week (damn pregnancy books!) that said the risk of death from a c-section is 1 in 5000. I can't exactly avoid a c-section if I need one, at the end of the day (although of course I'll be doing everything in my power to avoid one, since it scares the shit out of me). And if I can live with that kind of risk, is a similar number for genetic diseases really any different? Of course, I have no idea what our numbers will look like. Which is why I'm anxious to get this next appointment over with.
I just got my water test results back from the guy who had them (I had given him my only copies). As I thought, he was completely misreading the numbers. My level is not quite twice the "acceptable" limit, but less than half what the limit was until 2001. I hadn't remembered, but the paperwork with the test results (which are from a state lab) also say that if we're not drinking the water or using it in soups, pasta, etc., then our risks from the arsenic are minimal. Since I haven't been doing any of those things, except for maybe once, I think we should be in good shape. Although, I still want to put a system in place to get rid of the arsenic.
Oh my, it's way past my bedtime. I can't believe I'm still awake.
I had my first doctor's appointment scheduled for this morning, but right as I was leaving the house, they called to cancel. I guess I'd rather get canceled on than have some virus passed on to me (she was sick), but I was still disappointed. Luckily, they were able to reschedule me for Thursday morning. I am anxious to talk to them about the genetic testing. I am anxious to get it over with. I feel like no matter how well things are going (knock wood), I can't really believe in this pregnancy until we are through with the testing.
The more I think about the testing, the more I think maybe I'm being a little unreasonable about feeling like I NEED to do CVS or amnio. It seems like no one does them any more, unless they are found to be high risk after the screening tests. I was thinking that a risk of 1 in 5000 still feels like too much of a risk. And then I read something this week (damn pregnancy books!) that said the risk of death from a c-section is 1 in 5000. I can't exactly avoid a c-section if I need one, at the end of the day (although of course I'll be doing everything in my power to avoid one, since it scares the shit out of me). And if I can live with that kind of risk, is a similar number for genetic diseases really any different? Of course, I have no idea what our numbers will look like. Which is why I'm anxious to get this next appointment over with.
I just got my water test results back from the guy who had them (I had given him my only copies). As I thought, he was completely misreading the numbers. My level is not quite twice the "acceptable" limit, but less than half what the limit was until 2001. I hadn't remembered, but the paperwork with the test results (which are from a state lab) also say that if we're not drinking the water or using it in soups, pasta, etc., then our risks from the arsenic are minimal. Since I haven't been doing any of those things, except for maybe once, I think we should be in good shape. Although, I still want to put a system in place to get rid of the arsenic.
Oh my, it's way past my bedtime. I can't believe I'm still awake.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Awards Banquet
MAK-now has nominated me for an Honest Scrap award. And if I weren't so damn tired at 8:00 p.m., I would sit here and bang out the most awe-inspiring acceptance speech ever. I would wait until tomorrow, but. . .as days go by, I sometimes forget to complete these things, even though I really appreciate it when someone likes me enough to tag me or nominate me. Since it's already been days since MAK-now nominated me (I am ALWAYS really damn tired by the time I have a spare minute these days), I didn't want it to go any longer without acknowledging her award.
And yet, I'm still too tired to type for a second longer. So, in lieu of reading 10 honest things about me, go read 10 honest things about MAK-now. And while you are over there, check out her wedding photos. Are they not the hottest couple ever?
And yet, I'm still too tired to type for a second longer. So, in lieu of reading 10 honest things about me, go read 10 honest things about MAK-now. And while you are over there, check out her wedding photos. Are they not the hottest couple ever?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
8 Weeks and Counting
Time seems to be slipping away very quickly. There are a million things that we need to accomplish before this baby comes (like finish building the walls in what will become the nursery). We've been renovating our house very, very s...l...o...w...l...y for the last couple of years, and T. has finally seen a need to speed up the work (LOVE that!). He's starting to get a little worried about how quickly the time is going by, though. There is SO much to do. We have basically done a gut renovation of our entire house, but there is a lot more putting-back-together that has to be done.
We are currently at 8.5 weeks. I am feeling really good, actually. I've had no morning sickness at all, which makes me worry sometimes, because I'm crazy like that. I am REALLY tired, and need to be in bed by 8-8:30 every night. My boobs are also incredibly sore, and huge (for me). I was built like a 12 year old boy before I was pregnant. Now I am looking a lot more like a 13 year old girl. I'm also apparently one of those people who gets thick around the middle when they get pregnant. It happened pretty quickly. I had to go out and buy some new pants already. Thank goodness for bad economy sales! I had bought a pile of new pants last spring, because I was a little thinner than normal and all of my clothes were hanging off of me. With the Big Project stress that was going on at work at the time, I knew there was no chance that I'd gain weight then. The pants I bought then were all size "0". Unfortunately, one of the pairs of pants went to a suit that I really liked, and most of my size "0" pants stopped fitting a couple of weeks ago. Fortunately, I found the same pants on a sale rack the other day in a size "4" for $14.99, so I can still wear my suit! I also found another pair of dressy khakis for business casual Fridays for $6.99! I had to buy new jeans, too, also in a size "4." So basically, I've gone up two sizes in a matter of weeks. If you knew me well and you looked closely, between my boobs and my belly, you would know that I am pregnant. I've had to dress really carefully when we've gone out with friends and family, because I'd like to stay in the closet for now.
Although I've had no morning sickness, my stomach feels a little off at times. Eating something generally makes it feel better. I've been keeping a big bag of Sta.cey's Pita chips in my desk drawer. They come in a plain variety that stays crunchy even after the bag's been open for a while (making them perfect for stashing in my office), and they're quite tasty, even though they're plain. They're all natural, too. And, they make my stomach feel better. There are definitely things that I am not that into eating. I am so over chicken, beef and pork right now. I know I need the protein, so I struggle to eat some, but I REALLY don't want to. I have to force myself. I still want fish, but I have been avoiding it because of the mercury. I did break down and have lobster last night, but it was the only time I've eaten fish since getting pregnant. It's just too confusing to try to keep track of how many portions I've had of what fish over what period of time, and which fish are okay to eat how often. I've decided that I'll just have seafood once a month. So, lobster it was, this month. It will probably be lobster every month all summer. Can you tell I'm a New England girl?
I've found it a little difficult at times to remember what I'm supposed to eat and what I'm not allowed to eat. I had lunch with a friend the other day, and ordered a turkey sandwich. I was dismayed to discover that it came with brie on it, but peeled the brie off and happily ate the very delicious sandwich. Hours later, I remembered that turkey is a "lunch meat," and I'm not supposed to eat it. Duh. I just don't think of it as "meat," which is stupid, I know. I have felt fine since I ate it, and hopefully, it won't pose a problem. I am trying not to worry too much about making these kinds of errors, since there are tons of things women eat all over the world that are on Americans' "pregnancy no-no" list, and their babies are just fine. I try to be cautious and prudent, without neurotic, which is actually working out okay so far.
Today, I'm craving an Italian sandwich from a particular sandwich shop near my house, but this time I remember that I'm not supposed to eat cold cuts. I'm going to substitute the vegetarian version that they also offer, which is basically tomatoes, pickles, peppers, olives, and provolone cheese. The pickles and provolone really make the sandwich, so it'll be an acceptable substitute. I've been thinking about this sandwich for days. It's really sad!
I have my first appointment with my new OB's office on Tuesday. I'm meeting with the nurse. I went in last week to have all of my lab work done, and they said they'd call if anything came up, so I'm assuming that since I haven't heard anything, everything came back fine. Then, in two weeks, I have my first appointment with my new OB herself. I was surprised they scheduled the appointments so close together. I'll be nine weeks at my appointment with the nurse, and almost 11 weeks at my appointment with the doctor.
Overall, I am feeling really positive right now. I'm a little worried about the genetic testing that's coming up. It's so hard to know what the right thing is to do. I am leaning toward doing CVS. It seems like most women just do screening tests, and don't do amnio or CVS unless the screening tests show a problem. My difficulty with that is that screening tests only tell you probabilities, and don't give you actualities. I think I would rather deal with actual information. I have a cousin who was at higher risk for a baby with a genetic disorder, but still unlikely to have an affected baby, but she nonetheless gave birth to a baby with a significant genetic disorder. Particularly in light of her experience, I guess I'd just rather know for sure (even though I know there is a very small false positive rate even with the invasive tests). It is maddeningly difficult to try to decide, though, and the thought of the needles for the invasive tests makes me very susceptible to changing my mind. It will be interesting to see what my new doctor's take on all of this is. If anyone has an experience with CVS, I would love to hear about it.
We are currently at 8.5 weeks. I am feeling really good, actually. I've had no morning sickness at all, which makes me worry sometimes, because I'm crazy like that. I am REALLY tired, and need to be in bed by 8-8:30 every night. My boobs are also incredibly sore, and huge (for me). I was built like a 12 year old boy before I was pregnant. Now I am looking a lot more like a 13 year old girl. I'm also apparently one of those people who gets thick around the middle when they get pregnant. It happened pretty quickly. I had to go out and buy some new pants already. Thank goodness for bad economy sales! I had bought a pile of new pants last spring, because I was a little thinner than normal and all of my clothes were hanging off of me. With the Big Project stress that was going on at work at the time, I knew there was no chance that I'd gain weight then. The pants I bought then were all size "0". Unfortunately, one of the pairs of pants went to a suit that I really liked, and most of my size "0" pants stopped fitting a couple of weeks ago. Fortunately, I found the same pants on a sale rack the other day in a size "4" for $14.99, so I can still wear my suit! I also found another pair of dressy khakis for business casual Fridays for $6.99! I had to buy new jeans, too, also in a size "4." So basically, I've gone up two sizes in a matter of weeks. If you knew me well and you looked closely, between my boobs and my belly, you would know that I am pregnant. I've had to dress really carefully when we've gone out with friends and family, because I'd like to stay in the closet for now.
Although I've had no morning sickness, my stomach feels a little off at times. Eating something generally makes it feel better. I've been keeping a big bag of Sta.cey's Pita chips in my desk drawer. They come in a plain variety that stays crunchy even after the bag's been open for a while (making them perfect for stashing in my office), and they're quite tasty, even though they're plain. They're all natural, too. And, they make my stomach feel better. There are definitely things that I am not that into eating. I am so over chicken, beef and pork right now. I know I need the protein, so I struggle to eat some, but I REALLY don't want to. I have to force myself. I still want fish, but I have been avoiding it because of the mercury. I did break down and have lobster last night, but it was the only time I've eaten fish since getting pregnant. It's just too confusing to try to keep track of how many portions I've had of what fish over what period of time, and which fish are okay to eat how often. I've decided that I'll just have seafood once a month. So, lobster it was, this month. It will probably be lobster every month all summer. Can you tell I'm a New England girl?
I've found it a little difficult at times to remember what I'm supposed to eat and what I'm not allowed to eat. I had lunch with a friend the other day, and ordered a turkey sandwich. I was dismayed to discover that it came with brie on it, but peeled the brie off and happily ate the very delicious sandwich. Hours later, I remembered that turkey is a "lunch meat," and I'm not supposed to eat it. Duh. I just don't think of it as "meat," which is stupid, I know. I have felt fine since I ate it, and hopefully, it won't pose a problem. I am trying not to worry too much about making these kinds of errors, since there are tons of things women eat all over the world that are on Americans' "pregnancy no-no" list, and their babies are just fine. I try to be cautious and prudent, without neurotic, which is actually working out okay so far.
Today, I'm craving an Italian sandwich from a particular sandwich shop near my house, but this time I remember that I'm not supposed to eat cold cuts. I'm going to substitute the vegetarian version that they also offer, which is basically tomatoes, pickles, peppers, olives, and provolone cheese. The pickles and provolone really make the sandwich, so it'll be an acceptable substitute. I've been thinking about this sandwich for days. It's really sad!
I have my first appointment with my new OB's office on Tuesday. I'm meeting with the nurse. I went in last week to have all of my lab work done, and they said they'd call if anything came up, so I'm assuming that since I haven't heard anything, everything came back fine. Then, in two weeks, I have my first appointment with my new OB herself. I was surprised they scheduled the appointments so close together. I'll be nine weeks at my appointment with the nurse, and almost 11 weeks at my appointment with the doctor.
Overall, I am feeling really positive right now. I'm a little worried about the genetic testing that's coming up. It's so hard to know what the right thing is to do. I am leaning toward doing CVS. It seems like most women just do screening tests, and don't do amnio or CVS unless the screening tests show a problem. My difficulty with that is that screening tests only tell you probabilities, and don't give you actualities. I think I would rather deal with actual information. I have a cousin who was at higher risk for a baby with a genetic disorder, but still unlikely to have an affected baby, but she nonetheless gave birth to a baby with a significant genetic disorder. Particularly in light of her experience, I guess I'd just rather know for sure (even though I know there is a very small false positive rate even with the invasive tests). It is maddeningly difficult to try to decide, though, and the thought of the needles for the invasive tests makes me very susceptible to changing my mind. It will be interesting to see what my new doctor's take on all of this is. If anyone has an experience with CVS, I would love to hear about it.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Freakout Update
Once I got over my initial freakout, I realized that the water guy that called me yesterday has to be wrong. When I initially got the test results back, I didn't just talk to the specialist, I also did research on my own. I would've noticed if the levels were outrageously high. I sent the testing to be done at a particular lab that is some distance from where I live, and I'm guessing the specialist I'm consulting with on the water treatment system doesn't see results from this lab very often. Sometimes, results are reported in parts per million, sometimes as micrograms per liter, and sometimes as nanograms per milileter. I am guessing that the test results I gave him are in a different measurement than he is used to, and he didn't notice. Like, the rate is really .18 whatever, and he's seeing it as 18, because it's in a different unit of measurement.
All of the information I had at the time (based on my discussion with the specialist then and my own research) was that the levels came back at not quite twice the acceptable level established by the EPA (not like 200 times, as yesterday's specialist seemed to think). But, the EPA had set the "acceptable" level at about triple the level that I have until 2001. Which is why the expert I consulted told me not to worry too much about it (because for decades the "acceptable" rate included my rate), and why I didn't worry too much about it. Because of rock formations in my part of the universe, it's pretty common to have arsenic (and radon), and people have been living with it for generations. Several of my neighbors, who presumably have water similar to mine, are quite old. And several of my other neighbors have had babies who seem to be just fine. That's not to say I don't want to fix the problem, but rather that perhaps the guy freaked me out unnecessarily yesterday.
Also, because I knew the arsenic level was higher than the EPA deems acceptable, I haven't been drinking the water since I got pregnant. Since ingestion is the principal means of exposure (not, say, through the shower), baby should be fine. (Fingers crossed).
And now, for a little laugh, a MIL update: yesterday T. had the "big talk" with her. She promised him that she "hasn't told anyone." (Not entirely the point, but okay.) He said the conversation seemed to go well, although it sound like she more understood it to mean she shouldn't tell other people, rather than that I don't want to discuss it with her. And then she told him she's been buying beach toys for the baby (she lives on a beach). I had to ask whether she understood there wouldn't actually be a baby to play with them THIS summer. Argh!
All of the information I had at the time (based on my discussion with the specialist then and my own research) was that the levels came back at not quite twice the acceptable level established by the EPA (not like 200 times, as yesterday's specialist seemed to think). But, the EPA had set the "acceptable" level at about triple the level that I have until 2001. Which is why the expert I consulted told me not to worry too much about it (because for decades the "acceptable" rate included my rate), and why I didn't worry too much about it. Because of rock formations in my part of the universe, it's pretty common to have arsenic (and radon), and people have been living with it for generations. Several of my neighbors, who presumably have water similar to mine, are quite old. And several of my other neighbors have had babies who seem to be just fine. That's not to say I don't want to fix the problem, but rather that perhaps the guy freaked me out unnecessarily yesterday.
Also, because I knew the arsenic level was higher than the EPA deems acceptable, I haven't been drinking the water since I got pregnant. Since ingestion is the principal means of exposure (not, say, through the shower), baby should be fine. (Fingers crossed).
And now, for a little laugh, a MIL update: yesterday T. had the "big talk" with her. She promised him that she "hasn't told anyone." (Not entirely the point, but okay.) He said the conversation seemed to go well, although it sound like she more understood it to mean she shouldn't tell other people, rather than that I don't want to discuss it with her. And then she told him she's been buying beach toys for the baby (she lives on a beach). I had to ask whether she understood there wouldn't actually be a baby to play with them THIS summer. Argh!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Arsenic and Old Lace
Is it:
A) A play we put on (very badly) in high school;
B). Something you don't want to find in your well; or
C) All of the above
Unfortunately, if you guessed "C," you are a lucky winner. I, like a million other people in New England, have a private well, rather than access to public drinking water. The recommendation is that you test your well every year. Nobody I know does that.
But at some point post-2007 miscarriage, I decided that it might be a good idea. It took me a bit to set it up, but we got the results back. The arsenic was high, but I consulted someone about it, who purports to know about these things, and he told me not to worry about it. So, I didn't.
But now, many months later, I decided to forward the testing paperwork to a specialist to talk about putting a filter on, to deal with the arsenic and persistent hard water. The specialist called and left me a message this morning saying that he needed to talk to me. I didn't think much of it, and didn't call him back.
I became a little more concerned when he called me a second time today. He said that he has NEVER seen arsenic levels as high as mine. In fact, he said that he has never seen arsenic levels HALF as high as mine.
I am freaking out about what this means for the baby. I have bloodwork already scheduled for tomorrow, so I'm going to ask to have the arsenic tested. I am really freaking out.
A) A play we put on (very badly) in high school;
B). Something you don't want to find in your well; or
C) All of the above
Unfortunately, if you guessed "C," you are a lucky winner. I, like a million other people in New England, have a private well, rather than access to public drinking water. The recommendation is that you test your well every year. Nobody I know does that.
But at some point post-2007 miscarriage, I decided that it might be a good idea. It took me a bit to set it up, but we got the results back. The arsenic was high, but I consulted someone about it, who purports to know about these things, and he told me not to worry about it. So, I didn't.
But now, many months later, I decided to forward the testing paperwork to a specialist to talk about putting a filter on, to deal with the arsenic and persistent hard water. The specialist called and left me a message this morning saying that he needed to talk to me. I didn't think much of it, and didn't call him back.
I became a little more concerned when he called me a second time today. He said that he has NEVER seen arsenic levels as high as mine. In fact, he said that he has never seen arsenic levels HALF as high as mine.
I am freaking out about what this means for the baby. I have bloodwork already scheduled for tomorrow, so I'm going to ask to have the arsenic tested. I am really freaking out.
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