I am currently holed up in my guest room with the baby, under the guise that I am dressing one of us. I am in my guestroom because my MIL is visiting, and my master suite is easier for her to get around, so we gave up our room. I am currently hiding here because I need to vent.
We have had many visitors since we've been here, and while not all of them have been easy, they have all been interested and appreciative. They've all been happy to be here. They've all been nice, and positive. Needless to say, that's not how I'm finding THIS visit. She explicitly informed us yesterday that she was only here to see the baby (T apparently doesn't rate a visit). She's been here for four days, but has 't bothered to take her camera out once (apparently, pictures of Miss M aren't all that important to her). I was just treated to a discussion of how Ireland (the only other European country she has visited) is more advanced than this country because there, she could use her curling iron from the US (my explanation of voltage differences with the US fell on deaf ears, as did my mention of the fact that the reason her American curling iron worked in Ireland was likely due to the fact that she stayed in hotels catering to Americans, which have hardwired to accommodate for both voltage and plug differences).
Everything is just so NEGATIVE. And the irritating thing is that she thinks she is a really positive person.
Sigh. Just a few more days...
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Teeth Make Me Tired
We recently had a bunch of nights in a row where Miss M actually slept through the night. It was lovely, but honestly, with all of the teething she's been through it's been so long since she slept solidly that I kept waking up, thinking something was wrong. Consequently, I got no sleep. The last two nights, however, she woke a ton. As she just hung upside down off of me, screaming, I discovered why: she's teething. . .again. A tooth has just broken through on the top. Those top ones sure are hard to spot! It must be why she's been uncomfortable. Sadly, no sign of the other one on the other side. Guess I have some more sleepless nights ahead of me!
I still don't know what happened to my friend's baby. At first I thought she found out her baby had died, but now I get the sense that the baby may have been born, but didn't survive. It's not the kind of thing you ask, and the emails I've gotten from her haven't made it clear. Either way, total suckage. She is, obviously, devastated. I am still casting about to find the right thing to do to memorialize her baby's life, but I did manage to do something productive in the meantime. This is one of the things that distance makes so hard. How do you be there for someone when you're not there? After some searching, I found a grocery store that would deliver to her neighborhood, and I ordered a pile of "kid food" for her toddler. That way, at least, they have some easy meals to feed the poor child while they try to get their legs back under them.
It all reminds me how fragile everything is. It makes me stress about being pregnant again, too. Everything went well with Miss M's pregnancy and delivery, and in some ways it feels like tempting fate to even think about getting pregnant again. Could it possibly go that well a second time? Every time I see a bad outcome, I can't help but think that it could be me.
I still don't know what happened to my friend's baby. At first I thought she found out her baby had died, but now I get the sense that the baby may have been born, but didn't survive. It's not the kind of thing you ask, and the emails I've gotten from her haven't made it clear. Either way, total suckage. She is, obviously, devastated. I am still casting about to find the right thing to do to memorialize her baby's life, but I did manage to do something productive in the meantime. This is one of the things that distance makes so hard. How do you be there for someone when you're not there? After some searching, I found a grocery store that would deliver to her neighborhood, and I ordered a pile of "kid food" for her toddler. That way, at least, they have some easy meals to feed the poor child while they try to get their legs back under them.
It all reminds me how fragile everything is. It makes me stress about being pregnant again, too. Everything went well with Miss M's pregnancy and delivery, and in some ways it feels like tempting fate to even think about getting pregnant again. Could it possibly go that well a second time? Every time I see a bad outcome, I can't help but think that it could be me.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The Worst Kind of News
I got the most awful email today from an old friend. She was pregnant and very near her due date, and just learned that her baby has died. They think a virus is to blame. I am completely devastated for them. She is an amazing person, and it was rotten of the universe to do this to her family.
I would like to do something kind for her, something thoughtful. If you have any suggestions for a newly babylost mama, for newly babylost parents, please send them my way.
I would like to do something kind for her, something thoughtful. If you have any suggestions for a newly babylost mama, for newly babylost parents, please send them my way.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Closer
Yesterday, we made the mistake of going to a local museum that is a draw for families. It's a big week for schools to be on vacation here, and it was a complete madhouse. As we wandered around, watching children older than Miss M scamper around the exhibits, T casually remarked to me about how he was looking forward to doing something in particular with Miss M when she is three. I can picture exactly where we were when he said this: in the mammals room at the museum, next to a large plastic whale. At that moment, something clicked into place for me in a way that it hadn't previously. That "something" is the fact that childhood is transient and fleeting.
Now I KNOW this, of course. But what I really realized is that the hard stuff about parenting a small child, the mundane stuff like bickering children. . .it passes. It passes rather quickly. Miss M is just shy of 14 months now. She'll be three before we know it. We'll be enjoying that moment that T is looking forward to. The last 14 months have FLOWN by. All of that stuff that I worry about with a second child, it's all going to go by the wayside in the blink of an eye. The things that I value, the reasons for expanding our family, those are big, worthwhile, good-for-a-lifetime reasons. When you make a pro/con list, it's important to realize that the pros and the cons are not necessarily weighted the same, and in the same way.
That seems so obvious now, but it's easy when parenting a small child to get caught up in the details and forget the big picture. I must say, I feel a bit lighter now.
Now I KNOW this, of course. But what I really realized is that the hard stuff about parenting a small child, the mundane stuff like bickering children. . .it passes. It passes rather quickly. Miss M is just shy of 14 months now. She'll be three before we know it. We'll be enjoying that moment that T is looking forward to. The last 14 months have FLOWN by. All of that stuff that I worry about with a second child, it's all going to go by the wayside in the blink of an eye. The things that I value, the reasons for expanding our family, those are big, worthwhile, good-for-a-lifetime reasons. When you make a pro/con list, it's important to realize that the pros and the cons are not necessarily weighted the same, and in the same way.
That seems so obvious now, but it's easy when parenting a small child to get caught up in the details and forget the big picture. I must say, I feel a bit lighter now.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Meandering Around My Head
I have a whole jumble of thoughts in my head, so I'm not sure where this post is going to go, exactly. Things are good here. We have some decisions to make, but they are good ones.
Miss M is finally eating an array of foods, and is sleeping through the night. She's finally learned to fall back asleep on her own, without wanting/needing to nurse for comfort. It was a bit of a slow road to get there, but we let her lead the way, and I'm glad we did. By following her needs and cues, we got through nursing/weaning/sleeping relatively easily and without much unhappiness. As a recap, at about 5 months, just after she learned to roll over, she started waking herself up every time she rolled over, and then she would be FULLY awake and have a complete meltdown in her crib. We were up 764 times a night, and it was awful, so out of desperation, we brought her into our bed. This solved the problem. When she woke from that point forward, she nursed herself back to sleep, so even if she woke a lot, she went back to sleep very quickly. We all slept, and life was good (except for the occasional baby feet in my face as she invariably turned sideways in bed). She's been in our bed ever since. Fast forward to weaning, which we started after she turned a year old. She's always loved cow's milk, so that was never a problem. However, she nursed for comfort in the morning, at night, and when she wanted to fall back asleep. Getting her to give up "comfort nursing", as opposed to nursing for nutrition, has been more complicated. I have let her nurse as she needs to, but tried to gradually decrease it, putting the pacifier in at night rather than letting her nurse when she awoke. At first, I thought we'd never get there, but gradually, she started having fewer "no I don't want the binkie--I want to nurse!" meltdowns, and started accepting the pacifier more in the middle of the night. And then, she started not needing anything, and falling back asleep on her own. She still wants to nurse a bit to fall asleep, but that is pretty much the only time we are nursing. She is just shy of 14 months right now. The concept of "cry it out" is completely foreign in our house. We've just kind of let her fall asleep when she's ready and without much fanfare. Ditto with naps. It seems to work. The upside is that if we're out and about and she needs to sleep, she just kind of falls asleep. The kid can (and will!) sleep anywhere.
The surprising thing is that I still have a bit of milk left when she nurses. I had thought, given my struggle to maintain adequate supply the entire time I was nursing, that as soon as I dropped a bunch of feedings/pumpings, that my milk would dry up completely. The really weird thing is that my period still has not returned. I think we are getting back there, though, because I've noticed some slight hormonal changes. Which brings us to the next thought we've been mulling over. . .
What to do about #2. . .whether, when. . .the whole decision. I never wanted only one child. As a general rule, I think it's better to have siblings than be an only child. On the other hand, the idea of multiple children kind of stresses me out. It's two things: the idea of them going in two different directions at once, and the inane bickering that invariably goes on between two kids. Neither thing appeals to me, and both are clearly part of the package. I worry about feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, especially when things are working so nicely now.
T very decidedly wants another child, and he wants one now. There is no equivocation on his part. Hell, he wants more than one! The noise, the chaos--doesn't mean anything to him. But then, he came from a large family himself. He also feels (somewhat naively, I think) that two won't be much more work than one. His big thing in pushing for a second child now, rather than waiting a bit longer, is age: he's in his 40's, and he feels like we'd better get going if we want to have another.
I can't really disagree with him on this point; 40 is right around the corner for me. If we are going to have another, I also want to do it before we're done with diapers, and before Miss M gets even more independent. I think that for me, there is a certain point after which I wouldn't want to go back. I talked to someone recently who decided to have another child when her youngest was 7. I just can't imagine that! I wouldn't want to go back to diapers and all of the other less-than-fun stuff about parenting a baby. Not that any of it is really hard or truly unenjoyable, but still--the stages are miles apart, and I think I'll want to enjoy them in the moment, and not go back to some long-ago visited stage when I am miles down the road.
When I look at it objectively, in a vacuum, I can say that yes, I would like to have more than one child. That's what I've always imagined, what I always pictured. Except. . .except. I LIKE the way things are now. I like having just one child. I like that we can focus on her. I like that it's just the three of us. I like that she is this amazingly flexible, fun kid who is happy and always up for anything. I love how portable she is. I like how life works now. Life works now! Adding a second child brings the great unknown. A second baby may bring utter chaos. A second temperment may change our family entirely, and I worry about whether it will be in a positive way. I worry about whether I will feel exhausted, whether we will be able to manage. I know that it works now, but with another? I don't know how it will be. I worry I won't have the energy and enthusiasm to meet the needs to two children. But still. . .I still imagine another. It still feels like someone isn't here yet. I feel like there is a spirit baby circling our family, patiently waiting for her time to come and settle in with us.
In an ideal world, I would wait a bit longer. In an ideal world, I think I would very easily and very naturally get to a point where I would be clamoring for #2. I can tell that in a perfect world, more time is probably what I need. The idea of pregnancy again is a bit off-putting to me at this point. I was so careful about what I ate and drank. I took such good care of myself while pregnant, while nursing. It was, frankly, a lot of work, and I'm kind of enjoying having my body back to myself. I'm not quite ready to give it over yet. In a perfect world, I would probably wait to try to have another until Miss M is two. . .or maybe even three. But I worry that I don't have the luxury of time. First, there is my age. Second, there is my history. Third, there is the fact that we are going to be moving again next summer (not sure where yet, but I know that we are). The move complicates the hows and wheres of having a baby. It would be in some ways ideal to have a baby before we move, because I think from a sheerly logistical perspective, we could make that work.
Indulge me while I play out a few scenarios, as I try to work a few things out in my head. . .if we started trying for number two, we could try between April and July (March is out, because I want to have at least one normal cycle before we start trying, and that hasn't happened yet). That would give me enough time to have the baby, have a maternity leave, and go back to work for a bit before the move. (Utterly setting aside how my office will feel about the baby--I can't consider that at all this time. I just can't.). That's not a very big window. We'd have to stop trying in July, because I can't be about to deliver at the time we have the move, because we HAVE TO leave the country at that point. Non-negotiable. And since airlines won't let you fly past a certain point, we'd have to stop trying for a bit to account for that. But I suppose we could start trying again after we get past the point. There are lots of things to take into account from there, in terms of timing, and in thinking about them. . .it gets complicated. Among the complications is the fact that we may be moving from here (nice European country with nice Western medicine) to a place where I would neither want to give birth, nor would I want to have a tiny infant. Complicated. But I guess I could just cross that bridge if we needed to. . .
So, yeah. It's complicated. Or maybe more accurately, I'M feeling complicated. April seems really soon. But that damn clock keeps on tick, tick, ticking. . .
Miss M is finally eating an array of foods, and is sleeping through the night. She's finally learned to fall back asleep on her own, without wanting/needing to nurse for comfort. It was a bit of a slow road to get there, but we let her lead the way, and I'm glad we did. By following her needs and cues, we got through nursing/weaning/sleeping relatively easily and without much unhappiness. As a recap, at about 5 months, just after she learned to roll over, she started waking herself up every time she rolled over, and then she would be FULLY awake and have a complete meltdown in her crib. We were up 764 times a night, and it was awful, so out of desperation, we brought her into our bed. This solved the problem. When she woke from that point forward, she nursed herself back to sleep, so even if she woke a lot, she went back to sleep very quickly. We all slept, and life was good (except for the occasional baby feet in my face as she invariably turned sideways in bed). She's been in our bed ever since. Fast forward to weaning, which we started after she turned a year old. She's always loved cow's milk, so that was never a problem. However, she nursed for comfort in the morning, at night, and when she wanted to fall back asleep. Getting her to give up "comfort nursing", as opposed to nursing for nutrition, has been more complicated. I have let her nurse as she needs to, but tried to gradually decrease it, putting the pacifier in at night rather than letting her nurse when she awoke. At first, I thought we'd never get there, but gradually, she started having fewer "no I don't want the binkie--I want to nurse!" meltdowns, and started accepting the pacifier more in the middle of the night. And then, she started not needing anything, and falling back asleep on her own. She still wants to nurse a bit to fall asleep, but that is pretty much the only time we are nursing. She is just shy of 14 months right now. The concept of "cry it out" is completely foreign in our house. We've just kind of let her fall asleep when she's ready and without much fanfare. Ditto with naps. It seems to work. The upside is that if we're out and about and she needs to sleep, she just kind of falls asleep. The kid can (and will!) sleep anywhere.
The surprising thing is that I still have a bit of milk left when she nurses. I had thought, given my struggle to maintain adequate supply the entire time I was nursing, that as soon as I dropped a bunch of feedings/pumpings, that my milk would dry up completely. The really weird thing is that my period still has not returned. I think we are getting back there, though, because I've noticed some slight hormonal changes. Which brings us to the next thought we've been mulling over. . .
What to do about #2. . .whether, when. . .the whole decision. I never wanted only one child. As a general rule, I think it's better to have siblings than be an only child. On the other hand, the idea of multiple children kind of stresses me out. It's two things: the idea of them going in two different directions at once, and the inane bickering that invariably goes on between two kids. Neither thing appeals to me, and both are clearly part of the package. I worry about feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, especially when things are working so nicely now.
T very decidedly wants another child, and he wants one now. There is no equivocation on his part. Hell, he wants more than one! The noise, the chaos--doesn't mean anything to him. But then, he came from a large family himself. He also feels (somewhat naively, I think) that two won't be much more work than one. His big thing in pushing for a second child now, rather than waiting a bit longer, is age: he's in his 40's, and he feels like we'd better get going if we want to have another.
I can't really disagree with him on this point; 40 is right around the corner for me. If we are going to have another, I also want to do it before we're done with diapers, and before Miss M gets even more independent. I think that for me, there is a certain point after which I wouldn't want to go back. I talked to someone recently who decided to have another child when her youngest was 7. I just can't imagine that! I wouldn't want to go back to diapers and all of the other less-than-fun stuff about parenting a baby. Not that any of it is really hard or truly unenjoyable, but still--the stages are miles apart, and I think I'll want to enjoy them in the moment, and not go back to some long-ago visited stage when I am miles down the road.
When I look at it objectively, in a vacuum, I can say that yes, I would like to have more than one child. That's what I've always imagined, what I always pictured. Except. . .except. I LIKE the way things are now. I like having just one child. I like that we can focus on her. I like that it's just the three of us. I like that she is this amazingly flexible, fun kid who is happy and always up for anything. I love how portable she is. I like how life works now. Life works now! Adding a second child brings the great unknown. A second baby may bring utter chaos. A second temperment may change our family entirely, and I worry about whether it will be in a positive way. I worry about whether I will feel exhausted, whether we will be able to manage. I know that it works now, but with another? I don't know how it will be. I worry I won't have the energy and enthusiasm to meet the needs to two children. But still. . .I still imagine another. It still feels like someone isn't here yet. I feel like there is a spirit baby circling our family, patiently waiting for her time to come and settle in with us.
In an ideal world, I would wait a bit longer. In an ideal world, I think I would very easily and very naturally get to a point where I would be clamoring for #2. I can tell that in a perfect world, more time is probably what I need. The idea of pregnancy again is a bit off-putting to me at this point. I was so careful about what I ate and drank. I took such good care of myself while pregnant, while nursing. It was, frankly, a lot of work, and I'm kind of enjoying having my body back to myself. I'm not quite ready to give it over yet. In a perfect world, I would probably wait to try to have another until Miss M is two. . .or maybe even three. But I worry that I don't have the luxury of time. First, there is my age. Second, there is my history. Third, there is the fact that we are going to be moving again next summer (not sure where yet, but I know that we are). The move complicates the hows and wheres of having a baby. It would be in some ways ideal to have a baby before we move, because I think from a sheerly logistical perspective, we could make that work.
Indulge me while I play out a few scenarios, as I try to work a few things out in my head. . .if we started trying for number two, we could try between April and July (March is out, because I want to have at least one normal cycle before we start trying, and that hasn't happened yet). That would give me enough time to have the baby, have a maternity leave, and go back to work for a bit before the move. (Utterly setting aside how my office will feel about the baby--I can't consider that at all this time. I just can't.). That's not a very big window. We'd have to stop trying in July, because I can't be about to deliver at the time we have the move, because we HAVE TO leave the country at that point. Non-negotiable. And since airlines won't let you fly past a certain point, we'd have to stop trying for a bit to account for that. But I suppose we could start trying again after we get past the point. There are lots of things to take into account from there, in terms of timing, and in thinking about them. . .it gets complicated. Among the complications is the fact that we may be moving from here (nice European country with nice Western medicine) to a place where I would neither want to give birth, nor would I want to have a tiny infant. Complicated. But I guess I could just cross that bridge if we needed to. . .
So, yeah. It's complicated. Or maybe more accurately, I'M feeling complicated. April seems really soon. But that damn clock keeps on tick, tick, ticking. . .
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Miss M at 13 Months
The house is blissfully silent. Miss M is sleeping in daddy's arms, and I am running a bath, so I thought I would work in a quick post while the tub fills (we have the slowest tub faucet EVER!).
Miss M is running around and into everything. She can climb stairs. She has no fear, and wants to go down them facing forward like a big girl. Unfortunately, she is a peanut, and not nearly big enough to walk down stairs. She is like a moth to a flame with anything that appears in her little world that is new or appears forbidden--paper, television remotes, cell phones, the telephone, the cord to the electric mixer when it appeared in the kitchen one day. She succeeded in pulling the mixer on her head before we realized our error, but I think it largely missed her, and she mostly got a face full of whipped cream from the beaters and a tremendous scare. We do try to keep everything out of reach, but invariably, we err at times!
She has become a bit of a parrot, and will mimic you if you say words to her. "Are you done, done, done?" at dinnertime results in "da, da, da!" She has mastered mama, dada, and no. Everything else is still a bit of a crap shoot. She points for things she wants, like her bottle. When I asked her where daddy was the other day, she pointed at him. She'll hand you things when you ask her for them. If she wants to, of course. She also might run in the other direction and hide them.
We've been having a blast with her. We continue to have many visitors coming in and out, and everyone marvels over how good she is when we are out and about. She loves to be on the go, and rarely fusses about being out. The only challenge is that she no longer likes to sit still in restaurants--she wants to be down and walking around. It's curtailed our dinner adventures, but that's about it. Museums, bus rides, long walks through the park--she's an angel for all of it. She just loves people.
We went to the playground the other day, and she spotted a tiny pink doll stroller that was pint-sized. She toddled right over and ran away with it! The stroller's owner was none too thrilled to share, but her mother encouraged us to play with it. I'm guessing they are having a bit of a hard time with the concept of "sharing." It was hilarious to watch Miss M chase after the older child, as she tried to push the stroller and escape Miss M. We finally decided we'd better leave before both kids ended up miserable. Sometimes the path of least resistance is the best. Plus, it was cold out, and Miss M never wants to stop playing. She's is that kid with the blue lips, who insists she is warm and doesn't need to get out of the pool.
Miss M's friend R visited again with her mom. R had developed a ton since we'd last seen her--she's learned to crawl, clap, etc. It was a blast to see them play together. Miss M toddled over to R, hugged her and gave her kisses. So priceless! I missed it, but T said that R has also learned to pinch, and pinched Miss M's cheek hard. . .which didn't phase Miss M a bit. She has a crazy pain threshold, and is so determined that a little pain doesn't get in the way of whatever she wants to do.
This month, the riding zebra toy that Auntie C gave Miss M has been a bigger hit. I think it's because she's had a bit of a growth spurt, and she can now reach the floor while sitting on it. She thinks it's a blast. She carries around her Dressy Bessy doll or her Minnie Mouse stuffed animal like they are babies, hugging and kissing them. I get such a kick out of that. She kisses us, too, and gives big hugs. It's just the best. My sheer perfection moments are when she comes to me so that I pick her up, and then lays her head on my shoulder. Nirvana! Last night she held Dressy Bessy up to my mom on the Skype so that my mom could kiss Dressy Bessy. Cracked me up!
The other thing that has been cracking me up lately is that she talks on the telephone. Or imagines she is, anyway. She's started holding her play telephones to her ear, or my cell phone if she manages to get her hands on it. Occasionally, she'll hold other items to her ear as though they are telephones, and pretend to talk. We don't actually talk on the phone that much--via Skype more often than anything--so it is amazing to me to see her do this.
We are weaned. She is fully on whole cow's milk now, and likes it just fine. We've had no issues with her drinking the cow's milk, but she hasn't wanted to wean at all. Evening, morning, and middle of the night, when she wants comforting, she wants to nurse. I have a bit of milk left occasionally, but we really need to stop this. I think we are just going to have to tough it out cold turkey. She sobs, and it escalates terribly in the middle of the night if I don't let her nurse. It was getting better, and I thought we were just about done, until her top teeth started really giving her trouble last week, and all of a sudden we are all about the nursing again. Her teeth are mostly in now (two top and two bottom), but she is still drooling a ton and tugging at her ears, so I know that they are still bothering her. Med's help a bit, but don't resolve the problem entirely.
It has been lovely to give up pumping. It's so nice to have that time back, especially in the morning. I actually get to work on time every day now--no running behind because I need to pump for a bit longer, or because I fed her for longer than I had planned on. I was very sad to stop nursing, but relieved when I saw that it hasn't changed our relationship at all. I am still her favorite mummy.
As far as eating goes. . .she's just a poor eater. While R was here, we fed the girls together, and R (a healthy sized girl) ate for about twice as long as Miss M. She gets quite angry when she's finished, if you try to leave her in her high chair, so I let her down and she ran around R's feet as R continued to eat. Miss M is a big fan of Cheerios, chicken and cheese. She's become quite the independent eater, and really only wants to feed herself. She doesn't want to be fed with a spoon lately, and doesn't want to use one herself. Our solution has been that she likes some fruit and veggie purees that come in tubes (baby food brands like Plum and Ella's Kitchen), and she'll let us squirt those in her mouth. She pretty much likes all of them, so we are able to get a variety of fruit and veggies into her. As far as other baby food in jars, though, it's been a complete bust. She refuses to eat any of it. She does like macaroni and cheese, however, when I make it from scratch. So, we get as much cheese, chicken, Cherrios, and fruit and veg into her as we can, and try not to worry about it. Oh, and yogurt. The kid loves yogurt. We do a weight recheck with the doctor in a couple of weeks, but I already know what the result is going to be. She's clearly growing UP again, rather than out, and I know she's still going to be off the chart. Hopefully she won't have fallen at all.
And now, my tub is full. It's still quiet, and I'm off to relax and read a trashy magazine while I can!
Miss M is running around and into everything. She can climb stairs. She has no fear, and wants to go down them facing forward like a big girl. Unfortunately, she is a peanut, and not nearly big enough to walk down stairs. She is like a moth to a flame with anything that appears in her little world that is new or appears forbidden--paper, television remotes, cell phones, the telephone, the cord to the electric mixer when it appeared in the kitchen one day. She succeeded in pulling the mixer on her head before we realized our error, but I think it largely missed her, and she mostly got a face full of whipped cream from the beaters and a tremendous scare. We do try to keep everything out of reach, but invariably, we err at times!
She has become a bit of a parrot, and will mimic you if you say words to her. "Are you done, done, done?" at dinnertime results in "da, da, da!" She has mastered mama, dada, and no. Everything else is still a bit of a crap shoot. She points for things she wants, like her bottle. When I asked her where daddy was the other day, she pointed at him. She'll hand you things when you ask her for them. If she wants to, of course. She also might run in the other direction and hide them.
We've been having a blast with her. We continue to have many visitors coming in and out, and everyone marvels over how good she is when we are out and about. She loves to be on the go, and rarely fusses about being out. The only challenge is that she no longer likes to sit still in restaurants--she wants to be down and walking around. It's curtailed our dinner adventures, but that's about it. Museums, bus rides, long walks through the park--she's an angel for all of it. She just loves people.
We went to the playground the other day, and she spotted a tiny pink doll stroller that was pint-sized. She toddled right over and ran away with it! The stroller's owner was none too thrilled to share, but her mother encouraged us to play with it. I'm guessing they are having a bit of a hard time with the concept of "sharing." It was hilarious to watch Miss M chase after the older child, as she tried to push the stroller and escape Miss M. We finally decided we'd better leave before both kids ended up miserable. Sometimes the path of least resistance is the best. Plus, it was cold out, and Miss M never wants to stop playing. She's is that kid with the blue lips, who insists she is warm and doesn't need to get out of the pool.
Miss M's friend R visited again with her mom. R had developed a ton since we'd last seen her--she's learned to crawl, clap, etc. It was a blast to see them play together. Miss M toddled over to R, hugged her and gave her kisses. So priceless! I missed it, but T said that R has also learned to pinch, and pinched Miss M's cheek hard. . .which didn't phase Miss M a bit. She has a crazy pain threshold, and is so determined that a little pain doesn't get in the way of whatever she wants to do.
This month, the riding zebra toy that Auntie C gave Miss M has been a bigger hit. I think it's because she's had a bit of a growth spurt, and she can now reach the floor while sitting on it. She thinks it's a blast. She carries around her Dressy Bessy doll or her Minnie Mouse stuffed animal like they are babies, hugging and kissing them. I get such a kick out of that. She kisses us, too, and gives big hugs. It's just the best. My sheer perfection moments are when she comes to me so that I pick her up, and then lays her head on my shoulder. Nirvana! Last night she held Dressy Bessy up to my mom on the Skype so that my mom could kiss Dressy Bessy. Cracked me up!
The other thing that has been cracking me up lately is that she talks on the telephone. Or imagines she is, anyway. She's started holding her play telephones to her ear, or my cell phone if she manages to get her hands on it. Occasionally, she'll hold other items to her ear as though they are telephones, and pretend to talk. We don't actually talk on the phone that much--via Skype more often than anything--so it is amazing to me to see her do this.
We are weaned. She is fully on whole cow's milk now, and likes it just fine. We've had no issues with her drinking the cow's milk, but she hasn't wanted to wean at all. Evening, morning, and middle of the night, when she wants comforting, she wants to nurse. I have a bit of milk left occasionally, but we really need to stop this. I think we are just going to have to tough it out cold turkey. She sobs, and it escalates terribly in the middle of the night if I don't let her nurse. It was getting better, and I thought we were just about done, until her top teeth started really giving her trouble last week, and all of a sudden we are all about the nursing again. Her teeth are mostly in now (two top and two bottom), but she is still drooling a ton and tugging at her ears, so I know that they are still bothering her. Med's help a bit, but don't resolve the problem entirely.
It has been lovely to give up pumping. It's so nice to have that time back, especially in the morning. I actually get to work on time every day now--no running behind because I need to pump for a bit longer, or because I fed her for longer than I had planned on. I was very sad to stop nursing, but relieved when I saw that it hasn't changed our relationship at all. I am still her favorite mummy.
As far as eating goes. . .she's just a poor eater. While R was here, we fed the girls together, and R (a healthy sized girl) ate for about twice as long as Miss M. She gets quite angry when she's finished, if you try to leave her in her high chair, so I let her down and she ran around R's feet as R continued to eat. Miss M is a big fan of Cheerios, chicken and cheese. She's become quite the independent eater, and really only wants to feed herself. She doesn't want to be fed with a spoon lately, and doesn't want to use one herself. Our solution has been that she likes some fruit and veggie purees that come in tubes (baby food brands like Plum and Ella's Kitchen), and she'll let us squirt those in her mouth. She pretty much likes all of them, so we are able to get a variety of fruit and veggies into her. As far as other baby food in jars, though, it's been a complete bust. She refuses to eat any of it. She does like macaroni and cheese, however, when I make it from scratch. So, we get as much cheese, chicken, Cherrios, and fruit and veg into her as we can, and try not to worry about it. Oh, and yogurt. The kid loves yogurt. We do a weight recheck with the doctor in a couple of weeks, but I already know what the result is going to be. She's clearly growing UP again, rather than out, and I know she's still going to be off the chart. Hopefully she won't have fallen at all.
And now, my tub is full. It's still quiet, and I'm off to relax and read a trashy magazine while I can!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Miss M at 1 Year & The Grand Birthday Celebration
It is almost impossible for me to believe that it has been an entire year. It seems like it was just yesterday that we were in the delivery room. . .maybe we brought you home this morning. But no, you are a whole year old. A whole year!
We celebrated your birthday in high style, by taking you to Paris for a long weekend. You've long been walking inside the house, but because the weather has been a bit off where we are living, you had not really spent time walking outside. Daddy wore you around Paris in your Ba.by Bj.orn for most of our trip, which you love. You are perfectly content seeing the world from almost-eye-level, and you love to engage people from your perch. You wave and smile at almost everyone you meet. You were a big hit with Asian tourists in Paris, who wanted to photograph you at every turn. Daddy set you down in the Jardin des Tuilieries so that you could walk a bit, your first time really stretching your legs outside. We were right near a fountain filled with birds, and you made a run for it. Unfortunately, you aren't quite as stable on your feet when you run, and after a short bit, you fell. That's when you discovered that unlike carpet, gravel hurts when you fall on it. You pitched a fit unlike anything we had heard before. But of course, you are so good-natured that you got over it shortly after we picked the gravel out of your palms.
We walked 8 miles each of the first three days in Paris, and 5 miles the fourth day, and you were a joy for every bit of it. You and Daddy snacked outside of Notre Dame while Auntie R and I toured it, you smiled alongside the Seine as the sun peeked through the clouds, you soaked up the magic of the Eiffel Tower by day and by night, you snoozed your way through the grand Orsay museum, you chowed down on fancy French cheese that cost us 7$ for a slice, while we ate a leisurely Parisian meal and sipped red wine. . .you were just so easy to travel with. You charmed the most cynical Parisians on the trains. And, you fell in love with Minnie at Disneyland Paris. We had a magnificent trip. As we walked through the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse, magically lit after dark, we were the only ones there. It was the day of your birthday, and I was carrying you then. You fell asleep on my chest. As I paused near the top of the tree, surrounded by lights and looking out through the dark at the lit fairytale castle, it was a magical, perfect moment for me. One year earlier, I was working to bring you into the world. And there I was, a year later, having a moment with you that I could not have dared dreamed would exist. I love you. You mean the world to me. You have brought me more happiness than I ever imagined possible. I hope you had a happy first birthday. I had the best first birthday with you that could possibly be.
Our first ride on your birthday, your first Disney ride ever, was on the fancy merry-go-round. You were in the carrier with your father, and he and Auntie R and I were on these giant old-fashioned horses that bobbed up and down. I have wonderful pictures of you. We have some perfect photos of you and I and Auntie R on the Dumbo ride, too--Daddy took them, and did a marvelous job. You loved the ride. You loved rides in the dark significantly less so--you screamed when we took you on the Haunted House ride, which we realized two minutes too late was our worst parenting decision to date. You also hated the Pinnochio ride (also dark). Lesson learned.
One of your most notable features at 12 months is how flexible you are. You are happy to meet new people, you can sleep anywhere at all, and you're happy to eat now, or to maybe wait until later. As long as your favorite people (mommy and daddy) are by your side, you are good to go. People are always commenting on what a happy, smiling, outgoing baby you are, and it's so very true. You just love to engage people.
For Christmas, you got a sleigh-load of presents, and our living room now resembles a plastic jungle. You delight in playing with all of it. Dressy Bessy is a current favorite, but you play with everything you have. You are walking and running around. You say a few words, your most favorite being no. You point at things that you want. You clap. You wave at everyone. You dance when you hear music, and you wave at cartoons on the television who are waving at you. You have started to figure out that if you pile things, you can climb. You try to go places that we don't want you to go, simply because we don't want you to go there. You are persistent, and remember that things are certain places, even when we try to distract you. You still have only two teeth on the bottom, although three more appear to be coming through on the top.
You are a picky eater, though. We discovered a few weeks back that you LOVE cheese, and it remains the only food that you will eat yourself at any length. You shovel it in. You're pretty good about eating yogurt and cottage cheese, too. You like apples and pears, still, and we get plenty of fruit mixes into you (including those that are mixed with things like pumpkin and sweet potatoes, so you get a bit of variety). You aren't a big fan of chicken or beef. We made it a whole year nursing (yay for mommy on that one!), and we are in the process of weaning. You like whole milk just fine--no problems there. However, you are not so keen to give up nursing at night, even when there is little or no milk there. The problem is that you don't want to fall asleep without the milk. Tonight we are going to try to have a bottle of warmish water on hand, to see if that helps you when you wake up in the middle of the night.
You are still sleeping in our bed, although you've had a few naps in your crib this week. The one night I put you to bed in your crib, you woke up and freaked out because you were by yourself. I didn't have the heart to make you sleep alone. You were sobbing. We'll get there, but I'm not going to make it awful for either one of us. I have faith that you won't be a teenager and still sleeping with me. You roll around a lot at night, and frequently end up sideways, so I am looking forward to the day when you sleep in your own space, I must confess. Although, at least I generally get your head near me. It's your daddy who spends a lot of time getting kicked in the face!
You have taken to growling at us, and other people, to try to get a laugh. You'll dance to make us laugh. You love an audience. You are a big ham sandwich. I love that about you. I love to watch you laugh and giggle.
Your friend R lives far from us right now, but she and her mom came to visit this week. It was the first time you've played with another child your age. R is two months or so younger than you, but she weighs more than you, and she is just starting to crawl. It was a delight to watch the two of you together. You would go over and give her hugs, which was so cute. (You've started giving us kisses, too, spontaneously, which we can't get enough of). Twice as you sucked on your binky, you saw her eyeing it, and you offered it up to her, right out of your own mouth. Yuck! We stopped you from doing that! You shared toys beautifully. The two of you really seemed to get along well. As we fed you in two separate high chairs, you yelled across the kitchen at each other. It was priceless.
We had your 12 month doctor's visit, too. You are in the 50% percentile for height at about 28 inches, but weighed in at about 16 pounds, which means you fell off the chart for weight. The doctor wants to see you in six weeks to check you again, but isn't overly concerned at this point. He said babies grow in fits and starts, and I am thin, so he thinks it's probably no big deal. You really aren't a great eater, and we told him how you eat until you decide you are done, and then yell at us if we try to feed you more. When you are done, you are DONE. Hopefully, now that we know of your love of cheese, by supplementing your meals with it, we'll put a little weight on you this month! You are at the top of the charts developmentally; the doctor told us to start saving for Harvard. You also had your MMR shot this month. For all of the fretting I did over it, you weathered it beautifully, with no apparent side effects at all. You've actually had other shots in the past that caused you more trouble than this one did, thank goodness. I haven't heard you speak as much this week, but hopefully that's got nothing to do with the shot.
You have received many beautiful birthday gifts, including a special personalized fairy book from your grandpa and C. It has your full name in it, and I"m sure it will be one of your favorites soon. Mommy and daddy bought you books, as well, and daddy got you a pair of shoes that look just like his--too funny!
We love you enormously, and can't wait to watch you grow over the next twelve months and beyond.
Love,
Mom
We celebrated your birthday in high style, by taking you to Paris for a long weekend. You've long been walking inside the house, but because the weather has been a bit off where we are living, you had not really spent time walking outside. Daddy wore you around Paris in your Ba.by Bj.orn for most of our trip, which you love. You are perfectly content seeing the world from almost-eye-level, and you love to engage people from your perch. You wave and smile at almost everyone you meet. You were a big hit with Asian tourists in Paris, who wanted to photograph you at every turn. Daddy set you down in the Jardin des Tuilieries so that you could walk a bit, your first time really stretching your legs outside. We were right near a fountain filled with birds, and you made a run for it. Unfortunately, you aren't quite as stable on your feet when you run, and after a short bit, you fell. That's when you discovered that unlike carpet, gravel hurts when you fall on it. You pitched a fit unlike anything we had heard before. But of course, you are so good-natured that you got over it shortly after we picked the gravel out of your palms.
We walked 8 miles each of the first three days in Paris, and 5 miles the fourth day, and you were a joy for every bit of it. You and Daddy snacked outside of Notre Dame while Auntie R and I toured it, you smiled alongside the Seine as the sun peeked through the clouds, you soaked up the magic of the Eiffel Tower by day and by night, you snoozed your way through the grand Orsay museum, you chowed down on fancy French cheese that cost us 7$ for a slice, while we ate a leisurely Parisian meal and sipped red wine. . .you were just so easy to travel with. You charmed the most cynical Parisians on the trains. And, you fell in love with Minnie at Disneyland Paris. We had a magnificent trip. As we walked through the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse, magically lit after dark, we were the only ones there. It was the day of your birthday, and I was carrying you then. You fell asleep on my chest. As I paused near the top of the tree, surrounded by lights and looking out through the dark at the lit fairytale castle, it was a magical, perfect moment for me. One year earlier, I was working to bring you into the world. And there I was, a year later, having a moment with you that I could not have dared dreamed would exist. I love you. You mean the world to me. You have brought me more happiness than I ever imagined possible. I hope you had a happy first birthday. I had the best first birthday with you that could possibly be.
Our first ride on your birthday, your first Disney ride ever, was on the fancy merry-go-round. You were in the carrier with your father, and he and Auntie R and I were on these giant old-fashioned horses that bobbed up and down. I have wonderful pictures of you. We have some perfect photos of you and I and Auntie R on the Dumbo ride, too--Daddy took them, and did a marvelous job. You loved the ride. You loved rides in the dark significantly less so--you screamed when we took you on the Haunted House ride, which we realized two minutes too late was our worst parenting decision to date. You also hated the Pinnochio ride (also dark). Lesson learned.
One of your most notable features at 12 months is how flexible you are. You are happy to meet new people, you can sleep anywhere at all, and you're happy to eat now, or to maybe wait until later. As long as your favorite people (mommy and daddy) are by your side, you are good to go. People are always commenting on what a happy, smiling, outgoing baby you are, and it's so very true. You just love to engage people.
For Christmas, you got a sleigh-load of presents, and our living room now resembles a plastic jungle. You delight in playing with all of it. Dressy Bessy is a current favorite, but you play with everything you have. You are walking and running around. You say a few words, your most favorite being no. You point at things that you want. You clap. You wave at everyone. You dance when you hear music, and you wave at cartoons on the television who are waving at you. You have started to figure out that if you pile things, you can climb. You try to go places that we don't want you to go, simply because we don't want you to go there. You are persistent, and remember that things are certain places, even when we try to distract you. You still have only two teeth on the bottom, although three more appear to be coming through on the top.
You are a picky eater, though. We discovered a few weeks back that you LOVE cheese, and it remains the only food that you will eat yourself at any length. You shovel it in. You're pretty good about eating yogurt and cottage cheese, too. You like apples and pears, still, and we get plenty of fruit mixes into you (including those that are mixed with things like pumpkin and sweet potatoes, so you get a bit of variety). You aren't a big fan of chicken or beef. We made it a whole year nursing (yay for mommy on that one!), and we are in the process of weaning. You like whole milk just fine--no problems there. However, you are not so keen to give up nursing at night, even when there is little or no milk there. The problem is that you don't want to fall asleep without the milk. Tonight we are going to try to have a bottle of warmish water on hand, to see if that helps you when you wake up in the middle of the night.
You are still sleeping in our bed, although you've had a few naps in your crib this week. The one night I put you to bed in your crib, you woke up and freaked out because you were by yourself. I didn't have the heart to make you sleep alone. You were sobbing. We'll get there, but I'm not going to make it awful for either one of us. I have faith that you won't be a teenager and still sleeping with me. You roll around a lot at night, and frequently end up sideways, so I am looking forward to the day when you sleep in your own space, I must confess. Although, at least I generally get your head near me. It's your daddy who spends a lot of time getting kicked in the face!
You have taken to growling at us, and other people, to try to get a laugh. You'll dance to make us laugh. You love an audience. You are a big ham sandwich. I love that about you. I love to watch you laugh and giggle.
Your friend R lives far from us right now, but she and her mom came to visit this week. It was the first time you've played with another child your age. R is two months or so younger than you, but she weighs more than you, and she is just starting to crawl. It was a delight to watch the two of you together. You would go over and give her hugs, which was so cute. (You've started giving us kisses, too, spontaneously, which we can't get enough of). Twice as you sucked on your binky, you saw her eyeing it, and you offered it up to her, right out of your own mouth. Yuck! We stopped you from doing that! You shared toys beautifully. The two of you really seemed to get along well. As we fed you in two separate high chairs, you yelled across the kitchen at each other. It was priceless.
We had your 12 month doctor's visit, too. You are in the 50% percentile for height at about 28 inches, but weighed in at about 16 pounds, which means you fell off the chart for weight. The doctor wants to see you in six weeks to check you again, but isn't overly concerned at this point. He said babies grow in fits and starts, and I am thin, so he thinks it's probably no big deal. You really aren't a great eater, and we told him how you eat until you decide you are done, and then yell at us if we try to feed you more. When you are done, you are DONE. Hopefully, now that we know of your love of cheese, by supplementing your meals with it, we'll put a little weight on you this month! You are at the top of the charts developmentally; the doctor told us to start saving for Harvard. You also had your MMR shot this month. For all of the fretting I did over it, you weathered it beautifully, with no apparent side effects at all. You've actually had other shots in the past that caused you more trouble than this one did, thank goodness. I haven't heard you speak as much this week, but hopefully that's got nothing to do with the shot.
You have received many beautiful birthday gifts, including a special personalized fairy book from your grandpa and C. It has your full name in it, and I"m sure it will be one of your favorites soon. Mommy and daddy bought you books, as well, and daddy got you a pair of shoes that look just like his--too funny!
We love you enormously, and can't wait to watch you grow over the next twelve months and beyond.
Love,
Mom
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