We recently had a bunch of nights in a row where Miss M actually slept through the night. It was lovely, but honestly, with all of the teething she's been through it's been so long since she slept solidly that I kept waking up, thinking something was wrong. Consequently, I got no sleep. The last two nights, however, she woke a ton. As she just hung upside down off of me, screaming, I discovered why: she's teething. . .again. A tooth has just broken through on the top. Those top ones sure are hard to spot! It must be why she's been uncomfortable. Sadly, no sign of the other one on the other side. Guess I have some more sleepless nights ahead of me!
I still don't know what happened to my friend's baby. At first I thought she found out her baby had died, but now I get the sense that the baby may have been born, but didn't survive. It's not the kind of thing you ask, and the emails I've gotten from her haven't made it clear. Either way, total suckage. She is, obviously, devastated. I am still casting about to find the right thing to do to memorialize her baby's life, but I did manage to do something productive in the meantime. This is one of the things that distance makes so hard. How do you be there for someone when you're not there? After some searching, I found a grocery store that would deliver to her neighborhood, and I ordered a pile of "kid food" for her toddler. That way, at least, they have some easy meals to feed the poor child while they try to get their legs back under them.
It all reminds me how fragile everything is. It makes me stress about being pregnant again, too. Everything went well with Miss M's pregnancy and delivery, and in some ways it feels like tempting fate to even think about getting pregnant again. Could it possibly go that well a second time? Every time I see a bad outcome, I can't help but think that it could be me.
2 comments:
A friend of mine who lost her baby told me that the worst was that everybody seemed to avoid her afterwards. Which was just what she wanted the first weeks, but not later. Just try to stay in contact the next months, remember the baby's birthday a year after and similar things. It is such a devastating thing to happen. For my friend it was the first baby, and long waited for. Good to hear that your friend has an older child.
There is a couple in california (i think) that if you send them the name of the deceased baby, they go to the beach, write the name in the sand and email a beautiful picture to you. A mom i know who lost her baby did that and it is a beautiful picture. and i agree with the previous person who said not to avoid
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