Tuesday, July 16, 2013
I Can't Sleep
Tomorrow morning, we fly to South America. Or should I say, we MOVE to South America. I'm not nervous, exactly. I guess it's more anxious. I'm ready to be there and get settled. Oh, and I hate to fly. And, we'll be living at altitude, and I'm worried about how we'll all do with that. I've never been quite as high as we will be living in or new country.
We've been in Miami for a few days for meetings, which was also nice R&R time for the girls and T. Now they are all fast asleep, but I can't seem to make my brain relax. I spent a while tidying up our room and repacking out bags so that everything is ready to go. Boy, are we a sight at the airport. We have nine checked bags (one is the BOB stroller), two car seats, a backpack child carrier, an umbrella stroller, four carry-ons, and a diaper bag...oh, and a purse. I'm someone who prefers to travel with a backpack and a few changes of clothes, so this is a tad stressful for me. I keep feeling like I need to explain to people that we are moving. I did a good job packing, though. Every suitcase came in at 49 or 49.5 pounds when we flew here.
We should be at our new apartment by early afternoon, in time for naps. I'm not sure how long it will take us to set up internet, but I'll be back here once we are settled down there. And with that, I guess I better relax and get some sleep.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Vacation and Moving and Potty Training Success
I just spent hours trying to corral clothes and toys and shoes and all of the other accoutrements of family life into eight suitcases. Well, seven really, because the eighth piece of luggage is actually our Baby Bjorn portable crib. Although, it's pretty stuffed with assorted goods, as well. Each actual suitcase weighs just about 50 pounds, the airline limit, and it took a good bit of juggling after the very last one came in at almost 60. Luckily, I had packed the others to about 48 pounds or so and left myself a bit of room. At least according to my mother's bathroom scale. . .It was a maddenly, thankless, horribly necessary task, and I'm so glad it is done.
We've spent the last month on vacation (living out of those same suitcases that I've just repacked), and now it's actually time to move to South America. I can't believe the time is here. We've had a pretty amazing month off--lots of really traditional American experiences for my girls. There is a fair chance that they will spend most of their youth abroad, and I want to be sure that they grow up as American as possible. I want them to feel well-connected to this country. So our summer vacation was full of things like Hershey Park and days at the lake and a small-town Fourth of July parade and cookouts and walking into town to buy ice cream from the stand that's been there for decades and boatrides on the lake and. . .it was just lovely. They played so long and so hard in the lake every day, even in the rain, that they took three hour naps, and still went to bed and rose at their normal times!
Although SB is just 16 months now, she absolutely loves the water. She won't be satisfied with sitting at the water's edge and playing in the sand. Oh no, she wants you to take her out where it is a bit deeper, so you can support her stomach and let her kick her legs and paddle with her hands in the water. It is amazing that she has the instinct to do it. She also delights in being raised into the air and bounced down into the water, as though she were in a jumparoo. She laughs hysterically, and when my arms burned with exhaustion and I returned her to the shore, she would try to grab me by the hand to drag me back into the lake to do it all over again. It was wonderful.
Miss M also adored the water. She has an amazing sense of balance, and was able to stand on a boogie board as though she were a surfer, unsupported. We would tow her down the beach in waist-deep water, until she finally fell or jumped off (although, while moving she needed a bit of support). We definitely have to arrange for swimming lessons once we are settled, because she is all about doing more, more, more!
I can't say that it was the most relaxing vacation for me personally. Spending weeks on the lake with a 3.5 year old and a 16 month old kind of stressed me out. I had to watch them like a hawk. Even when there were people around to help me out, I constantly felt like I had to make sure they weren't distracted from the task at hand and were still watching the kids. I realized that I kind of have a fear of water when it comes to the kids. It's funny, given that I grew up spending summers on a lake, and did crazy things as a kid. You'd think I'd be more relaxed. T also helped, of course, but since we were staying with his family, he often got called away to do this or that. Actually, my MIL had an entire list of projects for him to accomplish when he arrived! But aside from the constant vigilance over the kids, it was really fun to play with them.
Unfortunately, it was also a tough time to be home. Just after we arrived, the doctors decided that there is nothing more they can do for T's sister, who has been in declining health for the last few years. They have put her in hospice care, and only expect her to live a few more months, at best. She is only in her early 50's, so it's been really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that she is going to die. And frankly, I've been angry with her, because she didn't have to die. When she first started having problems 4-5 years ago, the doctors warned her that she could die and told her she needed to make changes, and she didn't. She's had a million chances to change her life, and she refused. She still could try to fight this, although her chances are diminished at this point, but she's refusing to cooperate with her care. It's pretty awful. It breaks my heart for her kids and my MIL and T. Because we are moving so far away, it's unlikely that T will be back to see her again before she dies. He went to see her in the hospital, and had to say goodbye to her and let her know he wouldn't see her again. It broke my heart to see him go through that. It was truly awful.
I didn't go to visit her, because I didn't have anything productive to say to her at the time. I was really angry while I was up there near the hospital, but there was no point in saying what was in my heart. I don't think anyone has ever yelled at her during her illness and told her to cut the crap, and that's what I would have done, had I gone to see her. And that's just not my place, and it's not productive at this point. She's in hospice care and facing the end of her life. I wrote her a letter, and then ripped it up, because I decided it was a bit too frank. After I wrote the first draft, I found that my anger really dissipated. I wrote a kind note, enclosed some recent photos of the kids, and left it at that. She has done some really awful things to the people that love her, but even she deserves some kindness and support on this journey that she is on.
It was also painful to watch everyone try to come to terms with her situation. She's been in the hospital for about five months, but her family and friends did not visit her until the doctors decided she was near the end and should enter hospice care. No one believed that she was that bad off, and everyone was really angry at her for all that she has done to herself and to those around her. Her family is in varying stages of grief, and many feel guilty for not doing more to save her. It's just so sad. But hopefully, it brought some sunshine to everyone to see the girls.
And on that morose note, I'd better be off to bed, as I'm sure the girls will be up bright and early in the morning. We've got some driving to do tomorrow to get to where we fly out of, and we're going to meet up with friends for dinner, so it's going to be a bit of a long day. When we get to their place--full of toys and child-proofed--I will be able to have a glass of wine and exhale from this long month of vacation.
Oh! And I have so much on my mind that I almost forgot the most exciting thing that happened on our vacation! Miss M is POTTY TRAINED!!!!! I really wasn't sure we'd ever get there. But basically, she needed to have lots of accidents to learn how to do it, and in her bathing suit at the beach, she managed to learn. I guess I just didn't realize that the kid was going to need to have a lot of accidents, and I never created a situation before where that could happen. I can't even tell you how many times she realized too late that she needed to poop, and pooped halfway in her bathing suit. It was disgusting. And she peed in the lake ( and on me) countless times. But she managed to perfect her timing to give us a bit more notice, and she is wearing underwear every day (pullups at night until we get settled in our own house again). She even naps in underwear, and was successful in underwear during a 7 hour car ride a few days ago. I did sweeten the deal by promising a La.la.loop.sy doll, toward the end, just to speed up her compliance. We were just about there, but sometimes she'd get lazy and ask for a diaper. She became obsessed with the damn dolls (I think they are kind of scary looking) while playing with her cousin at the lake). Of course, the one she wants isn't in stores, and now I'm trying to track it down. But anyway, SUCH exciting news.
We've spent the last month on vacation (living out of those same suitcases that I've just repacked), and now it's actually time to move to South America. I can't believe the time is here. We've had a pretty amazing month off--lots of really traditional American experiences for my girls. There is a fair chance that they will spend most of their youth abroad, and I want to be sure that they grow up as American as possible. I want them to feel well-connected to this country. So our summer vacation was full of things like Hershey Park and days at the lake and a small-town Fourth of July parade and cookouts and walking into town to buy ice cream from the stand that's been there for decades and boatrides on the lake and. . .it was just lovely. They played so long and so hard in the lake every day, even in the rain, that they took three hour naps, and still went to bed and rose at their normal times!
Although SB is just 16 months now, she absolutely loves the water. She won't be satisfied with sitting at the water's edge and playing in the sand. Oh no, she wants you to take her out where it is a bit deeper, so you can support her stomach and let her kick her legs and paddle with her hands in the water. It is amazing that she has the instinct to do it. She also delights in being raised into the air and bounced down into the water, as though she were in a jumparoo. She laughs hysterically, and when my arms burned with exhaustion and I returned her to the shore, she would try to grab me by the hand to drag me back into the lake to do it all over again. It was wonderful.
Miss M also adored the water. She has an amazing sense of balance, and was able to stand on a boogie board as though she were a surfer, unsupported. We would tow her down the beach in waist-deep water, until she finally fell or jumped off (although, while moving she needed a bit of support). We definitely have to arrange for swimming lessons once we are settled, because she is all about doing more, more, more!
I can't say that it was the most relaxing vacation for me personally. Spending weeks on the lake with a 3.5 year old and a 16 month old kind of stressed me out. I had to watch them like a hawk. Even when there were people around to help me out, I constantly felt like I had to make sure they weren't distracted from the task at hand and were still watching the kids. I realized that I kind of have a fear of water when it comes to the kids. It's funny, given that I grew up spending summers on a lake, and did crazy things as a kid. You'd think I'd be more relaxed. T also helped, of course, but since we were staying with his family, he often got called away to do this or that. Actually, my MIL had an entire list of projects for him to accomplish when he arrived! But aside from the constant vigilance over the kids, it was really fun to play with them.
Unfortunately, it was also a tough time to be home. Just after we arrived, the doctors decided that there is nothing more they can do for T's sister, who has been in declining health for the last few years. They have put her in hospice care, and only expect her to live a few more months, at best. She is only in her early 50's, so it's been really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that she is going to die. And frankly, I've been angry with her, because she didn't have to die. When she first started having problems 4-5 years ago, the doctors warned her that she could die and told her she needed to make changes, and she didn't. She's had a million chances to change her life, and she refused. She still could try to fight this, although her chances are diminished at this point, but she's refusing to cooperate with her care. It's pretty awful. It breaks my heart for her kids and my MIL and T. Because we are moving so far away, it's unlikely that T will be back to see her again before she dies. He went to see her in the hospital, and had to say goodbye to her and let her know he wouldn't see her again. It broke my heart to see him go through that. It was truly awful.
I didn't go to visit her, because I didn't have anything productive to say to her at the time. I was really angry while I was up there near the hospital, but there was no point in saying what was in my heart. I don't think anyone has ever yelled at her during her illness and told her to cut the crap, and that's what I would have done, had I gone to see her. And that's just not my place, and it's not productive at this point. She's in hospice care and facing the end of her life. I wrote her a letter, and then ripped it up, because I decided it was a bit too frank. After I wrote the first draft, I found that my anger really dissipated. I wrote a kind note, enclosed some recent photos of the kids, and left it at that. She has done some really awful things to the people that love her, but even she deserves some kindness and support on this journey that she is on.
It was also painful to watch everyone try to come to terms with her situation. She's been in the hospital for about five months, but her family and friends did not visit her until the doctors decided she was near the end and should enter hospice care. No one believed that she was that bad off, and everyone was really angry at her for all that she has done to herself and to those around her. Her family is in varying stages of grief, and many feel guilty for not doing more to save her. It's just so sad. But hopefully, it brought some sunshine to everyone to see the girls.
And on that morose note, I'd better be off to bed, as I'm sure the girls will be up bright and early in the morning. We've got some driving to do tomorrow to get to where we fly out of, and we're going to meet up with friends for dinner, so it's going to be a bit of a long day. When we get to their place--full of toys and child-proofed--I will be able to have a glass of wine and exhale from this long month of vacation.
Oh! And I have so much on my mind that I almost forgot the most exciting thing that happened on our vacation! Miss M is POTTY TRAINED!!!!! I really wasn't sure we'd ever get there. But basically, she needed to have lots of accidents to learn how to do it, and in her bathing suit at the beach, she managed to learn. I guess I just didn't realize that the kid was going to need to have a lot of accidents, and I never created a situation before where that could happen. I can't even tell you how many times she realized too late that she needed to poop, and pooped halfway in her bathing suit. It was disgusting. And she peed in the lake ( and on me) countless times. But she managed to perfect her timing to give us a bit more notice, and she is wearing underwear every day (pullups at night until we get settled in our own house again). She even naps in underwear, and was successful in underwear during a 7 hour car ride a few days ago. I did sweeten the deal by promising a La.la.loop.sy doll, toward the end, just to speed up her compliance. We were just about there, but sometimes she'd get lazy and ask for a diaper. She became obsessed with the damn dolls (I think they are kind of scary looking) while playing with her cousin at the lake). Of course, the one she wants isn't in stores, and now I'm trying to track it down. But anyway, SUCH exciting news.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
Summer Vacation
We've hit the road for a month or so before we actually move. First it was a week with my mother, which was a whirlwind of playing on the swingset and swimming in plastic kiddie pools and visiting Hershey Park (my first visit, and that place is MONSTROUS--we saw only half of it in 7 hours) and visiting the most amazing theme park for little kids (seriously, if you are anywhere near southern NJ, you must go--well-maintainted, amazing rides for little kids, no lines, and no bigger kids to trample your little ones--we've been like 4 times now and we love, love, LOVE it there--pure kid magic) and seeing MU in 3D (which I also loved) and getting our nails painted (Miss M's first manicure, and she was nuts about it, until the polish started to chip, and then she became devastated), and. . .well, you get the idea. Kid stuff. We've been so very busy grabbing America and squeezing every last bit of joy we can get out of it before we head off.
On Sunday, we drove to New England, which was an epic journey that took almost twice as long as normal. Every time there was a traffic option, we took the wrong one, and ended up in traffic for hours. There is no excuse for this, because the GPS on our car has traffic built in, and it diligently kept trying to reroute us, but we kept ignoring it, and. . .yeah, bad idea. If the GPS tells you to take the Lincoln Tunnel, you totally should, because you will sit in traffic for hours in the George Washington. But anyway, we got here eventually, and it is spectacular. I forgot how much I love New England in the summer. The sun shines. The birds chirp. The cat catches and tortures chipmunks right in front of the kids. . .ah, good times. The kids have been swimming in the lake and playing on the beach and taking 3 hour naps because they are so exhausted, and it is AWESOME.
Tomorrow I'm having lunch with my dad and the girls, then possibly dinner with my friend and her three kids. We are here for a couple of weeks, but I know the time will be gone before I know it, and I want to catch up with people as much as I can.
Oh, and there was a big box of chocolate love on my nightstand when I arrived. My MIL won a charity auction item donated by my favorite local chocolatier. The chocolate is insanely expensive normally, and in the box is bar after bar of beautifully wrapped chocolate, chocolate truffles and bags of other treats. I feel like Charlie in the Wonka factory. Yum.
But where would we be without a potty training mention? Because even amidst the chaos, I'm still trying valiantly. Miss M, for her part, is still fighting valiantly. When asked to use the potty, she says things like "no thanks. I already went yesterday." It cracks me up. What can I say? At least it's polite. She has twice started to poop in her pants, remembered she's not supposed to, and come running to finish the job on the potty, which in my view is the worst of all options. But someday soon, I'm hoping it will all come together.
Oh! And I've made some progress on the should-we-hire-an-employee front. Well, sort of. I vacillate wildly between "yes, we totally should!" and "let's just get there and see. Maybe we really don't need anyone" In between, I've sent a bunch of emails and talked with some folks, and am contemplating doing interviews in Spanish now via Skype. I see the wisdom in waiting and getting there and seeing. . .and then I think about arriving and unpacking and trying to grocery shop and do the million little errands, and how much easier all of that would go if we had someone lined up. I have some leads on a few more people to talk to (from other folks at my company who are there). So, we'll see. I guess I'm leaning toward it, even though I have my reservations, because I can see how it could improve the quality of my life, and although I'm uncomfortable with the economies of scale, I can also see that we'd be offering a fair wage (on the local economy) to someone who needs the job. Thank you to the kind person who recently left me a comment on this issue--really appreciate the thoughts.
On Sunday, we drove to New England, which was an epic journey that took almost twice as long as normal. Every time there was a traffic option, we took the wrong one, and ended up in traffic for hours. There is no excuse for this, because the GPS on our car has traffic built in, and it diligently kept trying to reroute us, but we kept ignoring it, and. . .yeah, bad idea. If the GPS tells you to take the Lincoln Tunnel, you totally should, because you will sit in traffic for hours in the George Washington. But anyway, we got here eventually, and it is spectacular. I forgot how much I love New England in the summer. The sun shines. The birds chirp. The cat catches and tortures chipmunks right in front of the kids. . .ah, good times. The kids have been swimming in the lake and playing on the beach and taking 3 hour naps because they are so exhausted, and it is AWESOME.
Tomorrow I'm having lunch with my dad and the girls, then possibly dinner with my friend and her three kids. We are here for a couple of weeks, but I know the time will be gone before I know it, and I want to catch up with people as much as I can.
Oh, and there was a big box of chocolate love on my nightstand when I arrived. My MIL won a charity auction item donated by my favorite local chocolatier. The chocolate is insanely expensive normally, and in the box is bar after bar of beautifully wrapped chocolate, chocolate truffles and bags of other treats. I feel like Charlie in the Wonka factory. Yum.
But where would we be without a potty training mention? Because even amidst the chaos, I'm still trying valiantly. Miss M, for her part, is still fighting valiantly. When asked to use the potty, she says things like "no thanks. I already went yesterday." It cracks me up. What can I say? At least it's polite. She has twice started to poop in her pants, remembered she's not supposed to, and come running to finish the job on the potty, which in my view is the worst of all options. But someday soon, I'm hoping it will all come together.
Oh! And I've made some progress on the should-we-hire-an-employee front. Well, sort of. I vacillate wildly between "yes, we totally should!" and "let's just get there and see. Maybe we really don't need anyone" In between, I've sent a bunch of emails and talked with some folks, and am contemplating doing interviews in Spanish now via Skype. I see the wisdom in waiting and getting there and seeing. . .and then I think about arriving and unpacking and trying to grocery shop and do the million little errands, and how much easier all of that would go if we had someone lined up. I have some leads on a few more people to talk to (from other folks at my company who are there). So, we'll see. I guess I'm leaning toward it, even though I have my reservations, because I can see how it could improve the quality of my life, and although I'm uncomfortable with the economies of scale, I can also see that we'd be offering a fair wage (on the local economy) to someone who needs the job. Thank you to the kind person who recently left me a comment on this issue--really appreciate the thoughts.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Mission Accomplished
The movers came today and packed all of our stuff. It took them all day. We have too much stuff, but we'll donate a lot of it down there, so I'm okay with that. But yeesh, it took forever to pack, and I had it all organized.
It was Miss M's last day of school, too, but I could not drop her off, because I was waiting for the movers, and I could not go to pick her up, because I was still dealing with the movers. I am so sad about that. I wrote nice cards to her teachers and gave them Amazon gift certificates. T delivered them when he picked her up. I hope that was the right thing to do. Preschool etiquette is lost on me. They gave us an awesome binder of Miss M's year, full of pictures and her art and little headings with descriptions. It is super cute. I feel so bad I didn't get to say goodbye to her teachers. They were so kind to us. It's probably better, because I definitely would have cried. I hate endings.
We leave here in a few days. I'm exhausted from the social engagements and the packing, and I'm sad about leaving our friends. Argh...endings beget beginnings, which I love, but they sure are hard.
It was Miss M's last day of school, too, but I could not drop her off, because I was waiting for the movers, and I could not go to pick her up, because I was still dealing with the movers. I am so sad about that. I wrote nice cards to her teachers and gave them Amazon gift certificates. T delivered them when he picked her up. I hope that was the right thing to do. Preschool etiquette is lost on me. They gave us an awesome binder of Miss M's year, full of pictures and her art and little headings with descriptions. It is super cute. I feel so bad I didn't get to say goodbye to her teachers. They were so kind to us. It's probably better, because I definitely would have cried. I hate endings.
We leave here in a few days. I'm exhausted from the social engagements and the packing, and I'm sad about leaving our friends. Argh...endings beget beginnings, which I love, but they sure are hard.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Grab Bag Edition
It's late and I should be sleeping, or trying to, but my mind is whirling away with the contents of my to-do lists, so I might as well blog. We are in our final days here, preparing for the next big move. I've managed to assemble the necessary supplies, save a new television. We've heard they are crazy expensive in South America, and I really want a smart tv so that I can watch American television and the Mexican version of Grey's Anatomy with very little effort. I am going to be forced to actually go to a store and purchase the tv, though, because I was indecisive and couldn't choose, and now it's too late to order anything. The movers come on Thursday.
We now have our apartment lined up. It was a bit tricky, and I still haven't seen photos, but I do have a floor plan. (It freaks me out a little that I have not yet seen photos.) This is where I am going to start to sound like an even bigger ass than usual, so my apologies in advance. The apartment looks lovely--great neighborhood, near some parks that people seem to like, with a playroom for the kids and a giant walk-in closet for me. Perfect, right? Oh, and it has quarters for a live-in maid, in a different part of the apartment from the "family" bedrooms. And this is where I confess that we've been debating the merits of hiring a domestic employee.
It makes me feel like such a jerk to say that. It feels like indentured servitude to me. My friends who have had domestic staff before tell me that the wages are good for the country I will be living in, and that I would be helping the local economy by hiring someone. It still feels weird to me. Because the fact of the matter is that $10 or $15 a day is not much money, and it feels. . .bad. But on the other hand, we could pay an employee well (by local standards) and have someone live in, work full time, and still pay less than $500 a month. This person could be a nanny, or it could be someone who cooks, cleans, does laundry, does the grocery shopping, runs errands, etc. Oh, and the quality of the care/assistance is supposedly top notch. This is the kind of situation you can only dream about in the U.S.
Miss M is definitely going to be going to preschool, but the schools pretty much only offer half-day programs. T thinks he might like to work once SB is old enough to be in school. That gives us like a year or so. If he is going to work, we'll definitely need help.
I don't know. I like the idea on some level, but I feel really weird about it on other levels. We'll see.
Warning: much discussion of pooping ahead. In potty training news, it continues to be a mixed bag. Miss M's teachers continue to think that she sometimes poops in her sleep during nap time. I know better. That child has never, ever--not even as a teeny, tiny baby--pooped in her sleep. She is clearly pooping during naptime to avoid using the potty. I've resorted to bribing her, and it's going reasonably well on days when she wants something. For example, we bought a fancy bubble thingamabob, and denied her the use of it unless she pooped on the potty at school. On day one, she pooped in her pants, and was not allowed to open it. On day two, she pooped on the potty. However, on day three when she was no longer coveting the bubbles, she pooped in her pants again. Argh. We went over using the potty this morning just before I left her at school, and the end result was that she tried to use the potty, according to her teacher, but said it was "stuck and won't come out. " And then she didn't poop at all, which has now happened a few times on days when I've really stressed the importance of using the potty. She NEVER skips pooping, and is never constipated, because she lives on fruit and dairy. Double argh. But still, she has been pretty good about peeing on the potty, so. . .baby steps.
I'm packing all day tomorrow. Wish me luck! I need to have a big day. Then, it's dinner with a friend from my old job, then one more sleep, then the movers appear. We end the week with a big party with friends, and then leave for a few weeks of vacation with family in advance of our big move. Let the games begin!
We now have our apartment lined up. It was a bit tricky, and I still haven't seen photos, but I do have a floor plan. (It freaks me out a little that I have not yet seen photos.) This is where I am going to start to sound like an even bigger ass than usual, so my apologies in advance. The apartment looks lovely--great neighborhood, near some parks that people seem to like, with a playroom for the kids and a giant walk-in closet for me. Perfect, right? Oh, and it has quarters for a live-in maid, in a different part of the apartment from the "family" bedrooms. And this is where I confess that we've been debating the merits of hiring a domestic employee.
It makes me feel like such a jerk to say that. It feels like indentured servitude to me. My friends who have had domestic staff before tell me that the wages are good for the country I will be living in, and that I would be helping the local economy by hiring someone. It still feels weird to me. Because the fact of the matter is that $10 or $15 a day is not much money, and it feels. . .bad. But on the other hand, we could pay an employee well (by local standards) and have someone live in, work full time, and still pay less than $500 a month. This person could be a nanny, or it could be someone who cooks, cleans, does laundry, does the grocery shopping, runs errands, etc. Oh, and the quality of the care/assistance is supposedly top notch. This is the kind of situation you can only dream about in the U.S.
Miss M is definitely going to be going to preschool, but the schools pretty much only offer half-day programs. T thinks he might like to work once SB is old enough to be in school. That gives us like a year or so. If he is going to work, we'll definitely need help.
I don't know. I like the idea on some level, but I feel really weird about it on other levels. We'll see.
Warning: much discussion of pooping ahead. In potty training news, it continues to be a mixed bag. Miss M's teachers continue to think that she sometimes poops in her sleep during nap time. I know better. That child has never, ever--not even as a teeny, tiny baby--pooped in her sleep. She is clearly pooping during naptime to avoid using the potty. I've resorted to bribing her, and it's going reasonably well on days when she wants something. For example, we bought a fancy bubble thingamabob, and denied her the use of it unless she pooped on the potty at school. On day one, she pooped in her pants, and was not allowed to open it. On day two, she pooped on the potty. However, on day three when she was no longer coveting the bubbles, she pooped in her pants again. Argh. We went over using the potty this morning just before I left her at school, and the end result was that she tried to use the potty, according to her teacher, but said it was "stuck and won't come out. " And then she didn't poop at all, which has now happened a few times on days when I've really stressed the importance of using the potty. She NEVER skips pooping, and is never constipated, because she lives on fruit and dairy. Double argh. But still, she has been pretty good about peeing on the potty, so. . .baby steps.
I'm packing all day tomorrow. Wish me luck! I need to have a big day. Then, it's dinner with a friend from my old job, then one more sleep, then the movers appear. We end the week with a big party with friends, and then leave for a few weeks of vacation with family in advance of our big move. Let the games begin!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Potty Training is Making Me Crazy
Miss M SHOULD be potty trained. She's highly verbal, huge vocabulary and enormous capacity for reasoning, etc, etc, etc. You know what she tells me? "I like diapers." Why did you poop in your pants? Don't you want to use the potty like all of your friends? "Nope. I like to poop in my diaper."
ARGH. I'm not sure how we got here. I feel like we failed her at some point. We've been trying intermittently for the last year, but she didn't seem ready, and so we've basically just let it go. But now I feel like we are at the point that it's not a matter of being unable to do it, but rather a matter of unwilling, and I feel like it's something we did (or didn't) do that left us in this situation.
One of my friends, who has two boys who are now a few years past the potty training stage, has told me to simply forget it until she's ready and willing to do it. She says she struggled with her first child without much progress, but let it go with the second child, and it just came naturally and easily to him. I was inclined to take that approach, but, well--it's just not working. I started doing that six months ago, and she's still not there.
Miss M turns three and a half next week. She will start a new school in August, and I assume (but do not yet know for sure) that she will need to be potty trained to attend. But more than that, it's just time. She knows when she has to go. She will tell you SOMETIMES. More often than not, though, we end up with an accident.
Today I took her to a little water park for kids. She was playing, and then something--the look on her face--tipped me off to the fact that she was pooping in her bathing suit. "Miss M," I said, "Do you have to go potty?" She agreed that she did, but it was too late. When I got her into the nearby bathroom, the poop was dripping from her diaper onto the floor. Honestly, I just wanted to cry. She was utterly nonplussed. When I said we had to leave because she had pooped in her bathing suit, she simply said okay, and asked if we could come back later. Then she promised she wouldn't do it again, like she does every time I tell her that she needs to tell me when she has to potty.
We're going to start a sticker chart later today, with prizes she can see. I think I will put them up on a shelf, so she knows that when she gets enough stickers, she can have the prize. She's not typically motivated by prizes, but it's worth a shot. I have to do SOMETHING. If anyone has a better idea, I'd love to hear it.
ARGH. I'm not sure how we got here. I feel like we failed her at some point. We've been trying intermittently for the last year, but she didn't seem ready, and so we've basically just let it go. But now I feel like we are at the point that it's not a matter of being unable to do it, but rather a matter of unwilling, and I feel like it's something we did (or didn't) do that left us in this situation.
One of my friends, who has two boys who are now a few years past the potty training stage, has told me to simply forget it until she's ready and willing to do it. She says she struggled with her first child without much progress, but let it go with the second child, and it just came naturally and easily to him. I was inclined to take that approach, but, well--it's just not working. I started doing that six months ago, and she's still not there.
Miss M turns three and a half next week. She will start a new school in August, and I assume (but do not yet know for sure) that she will need to be potty trained to attend. But more than that, it's just time. She knows when she has to go. She will tell you SOMETIMES. More often than not, though, we end up with an accident.
Today I took her to a little water park for kids. She was playing, and then something--the look on her face--tipped me off to the fact that she was pooping in her bathing suit. "Miss M," I said, "Do you have to go potty?" She agreed that she did, but it was too late. When I got her into the nearby bathroom, the poop was dripping from her diaper onto the floor. Honestly, I just wanted to cry. She was utterly nonplussed. When I said we had to leave because she had pooped in her bathing suit, she simply said okay, and asked if we could come back later. Then she promised she wouldn't do it again, like she does every time I tell her that she needs to tell me when she has to potty.
We're going to start a sticker chart later today, with prizes she can see. I think I will put them up on a shelf, so she knows that when she gets enough stickers, she can have the prize. She's not typically motivated by prizes, but it's worth a shot. I have to do SOMETHING. If anyone has a better idea, I'd love to hear it.
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