Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A Tale of Two Bras

I have a momentous announcement: after much angst, I have finally found some bras that fit.

I have been on a serious quest to find bras that fit, but also seemed to have a little room to expand, since I don't want to be buying new bras every two seconds. I have been all over, to no avail. Everything I tried on just seemd to fit wrong, or was uncomfortable, or was $40 (I'm too cheap to spend $40 on transient boobs). I even went to a local bra store and looked into maternity bras, as I thought that might be the perfect option. After all, they're deisigned to grow with you. Alas, that didn't pan out, either.

It did, however, give me a good laugh. If you've ever been into a bra store other than Victo.ria's Sec.ret, you might have noticed that some of the saleswomen (most of the saleswomen?) are approximately 150 years old, and often no more than 3 feet tall.

Just such a saleswoman approached me as I was fondling maternity bras in this particular bra store, trying to determine if there was one small enough to fit me. It seems that most women have torpedo-sized breasts during pregnancy and the weeks and months beyond, and I have more like large oranges, or perhaps small grapefruits, on a particularly optimistic day.

"You don't want those, dear. Those are maternity bras." I must admit, in part I was pleased to hear someone say that, as I was wearing my last pair of pants that sort of fit (okay, I bought them after I was pregnant, and they are two sizes bigger than my normal size, and I have to unbutton them by the end of the day when I sit, but still. . .real jeans!) I turned to look at her. "Yes, I know." It finally dawned on her that I am pregnant, and she proceeded to ask me how far along I was. Then, she asked if I was planning on breastfeeding, then told me that she'd breastfed five children, then regaled me with the tale of how she's nearly gave up because it was so hard, and never would have been able to do it if it hadn't been for the help of her mother-in-law. Ah, pregnancy/motherhood advice from strangers. So indispensable.

Since breastfeeding advice seemed a bit premature, I asked for help locating a bra. She measured me, then declared they had hardly anything in my size. "Well, why do you need one?" she asked. I explained that none of my bras fit, and I desperately needed new ones. "Why?" she asked. "Did they get smaller?"

In the middle of a crowded store, no less.

As it turned out, the few bras she had to offer me were heavily padded options. She seemed perplexed as to why I, such an unendowed little thing, would turn down boobs of foam, so I left her behind and continued my quest.

Happily, a short time later I happened upon a sale rack at Ko.hl's where there were two bras called Near.ly Ba.re or something like that. Wide straps, no padding, plenty of support. . .I nearly cried with joy. They are the most comfortable bras I have ever owned. Or maybe it just seems that way because I've been free-boobing it of late.


Bluebird said...

Oh that's too funny! I might have to check those out; it sounds like we might be built the same :)

I let loose on a VS salesperson one day - I didn't want see through, and I didn't want foam boobs. Is there *nothing* in the middle?! Ha!

~Jess said...

Oh my lol I just bought bra extenders yesterday so that I could keep wearing my bras (the cups fit fine). I've been eye-balling those barely there ones, but haven't gotten around to trying them on. I just might have to at some point. I hate bras...they were created by men to control women. BAH!

VA Blondie said...

That is too funny! I have a different problem, as I am large, and apparently getting larger. But they still put padding on the larger bras! It made no sense to me! I hate padded bras!

Congrats on finding a bra that fit!

Darla said...

Congrats! From one who has grapefruits it isn't fun or pleasant and it is way beyond the VS store ... I often use L.ayne Br.y.ant ... but since I'm not in your shoes I hope mine settle down a little bit! MrD loves to completely ignore me prattling on about shopping until I mention the word BRA and he can throw out my current size, without batting an eye, even if it's not what I'm wearing but what I should be wearing. That's why I married him - his mad ESPN bra skills.

JamieD said...

Wow - you couldn't make up a story like that!!

I went on a quest of my own a couple of weekends ago and (unfortunantly) bought something I thought would work but after giving it the test of the 12-hour shift, found out it itched like mad. Thanks for the suggestion - I'm on my way there now!!

Io said...

I'm glad you found bras - I am on the opposite end of the spectrum, which also sucks. I'm sensing conspiracy.