Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Rants and Ramblings Just Shy of 38 Weeks

Tomorrow I will be 38 weeks pregnant. I am feeling pretty good. The Braxton-Hicks have definitely picked up. Yesterday and last night I had a ton. They kept waking me up, actually. It's a little weird to feel them.

We had a doctor's appointment yesterday. Like her partner that I saw last week, my doctor thinks we are on track for a 7 pound baby (yay!). My scale is still MIA at home, but according to the doctor's scale, which I don't trust, I've gained about 29 pounds overall.

At my doctor's appointment, we chatted for a bit about the policies that her office has instituted, and I was relieved to discover that they are pretty flexible. They want me to have an IV inserted upon admission, but I don't have to have it connected to anything at that point. They'll want to monitor initially, but they are using some technology that allows you to wander at will, including into the tub. Contrary to what I was told two weeks ago by her partner, they don't want you to eat while in labor. She said that is anesthesia's request, in case an emergency C becomes necessary. She said to just make sure I ate before I came to the hospital, and then it's liquids from there (and popsicles and similar things). Overall, I was comfortable with how the discussion went. T. became a little disconcerted, I think, when she said that if we hadn't had the baby by next week's visit, she wanted to do an internal. He would like a few more weeks to finish up the house! He's not ready to talk about the fact she could really come at any time. The doctor also said that the B-H contractions are helping efface/dilate my cervix and preparing my body for labor. She said having them now means less work for my body when real labor arrives. I don't think T. was ready to hear that, either! He would prefer there were no signs yet related to labor.

The meeting with the doula went really well on Sunday, too. We met for almost three hours, and chatted about what I want, why I want those things, what I don't want, how I'm feeling, etc. We would've talked about how T. feels, too, but he is just one big ball of positive energy and confidence about this whole thing. Of course, all he has to do is watch! Or maybe he just has a lot of faith in me.

A number of months ago, I remember reading a blog post by Squeaker's mother (I will have to dig out and link the post later, since I am blogging on my phone right now) about how people didn't offer much help after they adopted their baby, and how she thought maybe people weren't as helpful because they'd adopted, rather than given birth to a genetic child. I think she might've also mentioned the fact that being an older parent might have played in, too. Well, now that my due date is almost here, I have some insight, and I think it's the latter-the older parent thing.

T. and I have always been very independent. But when my mom said she wanted to come up after the baby is born (she lives a day's drive away), I thought that would be great. I thought she meant she wanted to visit a few weeks after the baby is born, but she recently told me that she wants to come up immediately after the baby is born. So naturally, I thought she might actually want to help out. I even said to her that this would be great, because if I wasn't feeling well or needed some rest, I knew I could trust her with the baby (as opposed to some of the other crazy people who populate certain branches of the old family tree). Then the other day, she related to me that her husband was whining about what he would be doing while she was visiting the baby. Now, he is very friendly with my husband, so I assumed that he'd come with her and hang out with T. at our house. But here's the kicker: my mom told me that she told him that she just planned to come visit for a few hours! Perhaps I should just offer to email her some pic's, and save her the trouble of the trip altogether.

I guess I should be thankful that my mother wants to visit at all. My father doesn't plan on being around when his first grandchild is born. His wife is quite insistent that he's excited, and that "if he's around, of course he'll come visit.". It's the "if he's around" that I find so vexing. Because the literal translation is "if he hasn't made other social plans.". I'm used to him and his idiosyncracies, but it bugs me that she tries to make excuses for him. He's been my father for far longer than he's been her husband, and I know better. I can see right through her representations. I really wonder if she believes them herself.

Anyway, I'm not going to let myself be bothered by their attitudes. I gave up a long time ago-you can live with the relatives you have and accept their faults, but you can't change them. Trying to change them just hurts you. And really, I have a fabulous husband, a baby almost here, and an almost fabulous new house. What more could a girl want (other than a fabulous new job!)?


underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hi Q,

I really like "...you can live with the relatives you have and accept their faults, but you can't change them." I would agree, you do have a lot good in your life; so enjoy it.

Have a wonderful new year!


Heather said...

Sounds like the conversations with the OB and doula went great! Glad to hear it. Also sounds like T wishes he had more time to get things done around the house. Things will be fine if they are not done before the baby is born.

Sorry about the parental units (my favorite term for parents). Mine aren't that great. They haven't seen the boys since they were in the hospital and they are 7 months old now.

JamieD said...

It sounds like you, your doc and your doula are right on track. Which is good since the little could be here any day now! T better get crackin' on the house. ;-)

I think you're right - it is the age. I've had people make comments about how well Hubby and I would do as parents and I wanted to say, "Why? Because we have cats?"