The End of Vacation

Sigh. I have to go back to work tomorrow. Although we spent both weekends at the lake, which was relaxing, I spent the better part of the week hacking away at my never-ending to-do list. I made quite a bit of progress, although of course not as much as I had hoped. Even though it wasn't a "normal" vacation where we went off for the whole week (T. had to work for most of the week), it was still nice to be off from work. I am just so totally ready to move on from my current position.

Tomorrow is the big day at work, however, so return I must. I will be telling them that I'm pregnant. I told a work friend of mine yesterday (then swore her to secrecy--I know I can trust her). She was completely shocked, so I guess that means that no one has been speculating about my expanding waistline. I feel like it's so obvious, as does T., but no one seems to guess that I'm pregnant. In fact, people just keep telling me that I look really "healthy." I guess that means that 15 pounds ago, I was a little too thin. I suppose I notice it more than most people because most of my work clothes no longer fit. It's amazing how a relatively small amount of weight can torpedo your wardrobe.

I am not looking forward to telling my immediate supervisor that I'm pregnant. He's nearing 50 and single, and never had kids. His priorities lay in chasing women, not family-building. I have seen how he has treated other women with families, and I haven't been impressed, to say the least. It's no coincidence that every single person who does my job right now either does not have any children, or their children are already grown up. There is literally not one single person in my position who has young children. It's pretty much been that way for the time that he's been in charge of my division, with the occasional exception.

Actually, none of the current supervisors in my division have children, and there is currently only one professional person that has a young child. It's more than a little weird. The hours are generally awful and the work can be very challenging, so it's in part self-selecting, I suppose. But if I weren't planning on leaving anyway, I would find it incredibly disconcerting that there are so few people with young families. It didn't used to be this way there, but it seems to have evolved over the last few years.

I am telling my office about the pregnancy later in my pregnancy than I had intended, because we ended up doing the additional testing. I didn't want to tell them if the news was only going to be bad. Hence, I will hit four months this week. Time is FLYING by!!! The good news for me professionally is that I am far enough along that the fall schedule is pretty much in place, and it's sort of too late for my supervisor to try to take anything from me. I am comfortable setting limitations for myself (like, I plan on asking for extra help for a project I have coming up in November, just in case my body doesn't do what I hope it will), but I don't want anyone else setting them for me. The winter schedule is just coming together now, and I've structured my work so that it will be March-April before I really need help, so they should have no problem working in someone to cover for me while I'm on maternity leave.

The only thing I've been stressing about with regard to my leave are budget cuts. I am entitled to 12 weeks paid leave for maternity leave, and I plan to make the arrangements with HR tomorrow, prior to telling my supervisor. I am going to freak if they give me a hard time about the leave, due to the current state of the economy. I have made a million personal sacrifices for them over the last few years, and I am not asking for anything that I'm not otherwise entitled to. The benefits are very clear, and in writing. Yet, I have a lingering fear that they are somehow going to try to cut my benefits, or give me a hard time about taking the time that I'm entitled to. Well, I will find out first thing in the morning.