Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Taking the Long View

When you first start trying to have kids, you think it will be quick and easy. Then, if it's not, you get so bogged down in the details that it's easy to lose sight of the big picture. Sometimes you are painfully aware of time passing, and other times, it slips by unnoticed.

These many months we've had Miss M with us, time has flown by. I've seen how fleeting her babyhood, her childhood will be. Every day feels like a gift to be treasured. It's been both easy to see the big picture, and easy to ignore it.

So, it was with a start that I dug out my charting software password, and realized that I started charting four years ago. FOUR YEARS. It seems impossible to believe (hi Manda! Can't believe I've "known" you for that long, either.). Number of cycles charted before Miss M: 19. I missed so many cycles during those years, had such long cycles. . .19.

Then there's the data: it reflects an average cycle of 33 days; average ovulation on CD21; average LP of 12 days. Then there are the outliers, the minimums and maximums of my cycles: At its shortest, I've had a 24 day cycle; max cycle was 41 days. My absolute earliest ovulation date was on CD14, and my latest was on CD28. At its worst, when I was dealing with super short LP, my LP lasted just 8 days; then there was that max of 17 (a brief flirtation with chemical pregnancy). Somehow, raw data makes me feel like I'm in control.

As if.


Manda said...

Can you see an RE where you are now? I know you're overseas, but I have no clue where. From the sounds of things, you're in a developed area right now... Just curious if Clomid is an option this time around.

~Jess said...

Haha...I remember thinking I was in control with all that raw data too.

Welcome back to the crazies!

Heather said...

Congratulations! I remember charting my temps and putting the numbers into the computer software. I taught my girlfriend how to do it too, and it helped her have their daughter who's almost 5 years old now!