Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Unbelievable Post

There is a NY Times article that features Pamela from Coming to Terms . The comments in response to the article are just unbelievable to me still. Warning: I'm posting a horrid one here.

do infertility patients really rate the same sympathy as those suffering debilitating, painful or lethal diseases? That’s essentially the claim - we’re suffering just as much as they are. I don’t think so. You’re not even suffering as much as someone who lost a limb, since you haven’t lost something you had and which was intrinsic to you, you’ve lost merely the opportunity to perpetuate your genes (a biological instinct which rationality ought to be able to overcome) and the ability to have the next in the series of lifestyle choices (parenthood).

As a mother who chose to have a child at the ripe old age of 30, and who discovered the harsh reality - what a drag it is, they should count themselves lucky! I wish I’d had a decade of whining about not having kids instead of spending a decade as a slave to my twins, the first 3 years covered in food and bodily fluids, the next 3 chasing them away from danger and trying to “do” all the stuff you’re supposed to do. I love them as people and honestly do my best by them but honestly if I could go back no way in the world would I have had them!

My answer to those who think infertility is a “struggle” is try parenting a foster child for a year, preferably an infant. THAT is a struggle. You don’t know the meaning of the word.

Count yourselves lucky. Kids wreck your house, your relationships, your figure, your skin, your social life, your clothes and that’s just the beginning.

I think the people who are left out in all this sympathy are the parents who don’t enjoy being parents. We’re the outcasts no one speaks of. We’re the ones who get the dirty looks if we say “oh god not another turn on the swing pleeeease God no” or make the earth shattering statements that newborns are godawful boring all day.

Any infertile woman who cares to can take my twins for just 1 day and find out how easy her life is and go back to a lovely clean, neat, organized and spontaneous existence.

Now go give Pamela some love for bravely exposing herself to this drivel.


~Jess said...

Wow! It's hard to believe that people can be so insensitive...heading to Pamela's blog now.

Io said...

Ug, the twins woman made me see red.

Anonymous said...

Oh my fucking GOD. I cannot believe that "mother." I pity the children.

JamieD said...

Oh. My. God. I can not even believe what I am reading. How can a mother feel that way about her OWN children?

First - don't try to define my pain for me. I know my pain, you do not.

Second - what kind of parent wishes they could take back their kids?!?!

She ain't gettin' sympathy from me.

Deborah said...

That is unbelievable! It truly does make you realize how unfair life is. I don't know of one women trying to have a child that wouldn't give their left arm to have baby spit-up and any other challenge a baby might bring. Do they truly know how lucky they are to be able to give life, care for, and mold another human being? I'd be more than happy to take the burden from her..anyday, bring it on!

Nine said...

I can't believe someone actually made those thoughts public. It's fine for her to feel the way she does, but to assume that women with fertility issues wouldn't welcome what she calls "a drag" is shameful. She obviously doesn't appreciate what she has.

JamieD said...

Okay, three days later and I am still thinking about this.

Something that struck me about "Maybe Baby" was the women of the 'Maybe' section. They chose to have children after many years of choosing not to and none of them regretted their decision.

I am still shocked by this woman's post and her feeling that she is the one who deserves sympathy.

Mommy Meryl said...

OMFG - that is absolutely disgusting. Wow - those kids are in for lots of therapy!

Thanks for visiting my blog. . .

Your writing is wonderful.

Portia P said...

Hi there
Thanks for visiting me.
I read your last two posts and HAD to comment on this one.
I'm so angry with that woman i don't even know where to start! What a BITCH!!!!
She's gotta be some f'd up cow to be so rotten about her kids. I hope she's nicer to them.
I wish you well with all your health and IF issues - sounds like you've a huge amount to contend with.