While a cranberry apple walnut pie bakes in the oven, I've been blog reading this morning. I was reading about Pam's experience with her brother this past week, and she referred back to an old post of hers in which she discussed a tarot card reading she got online. I remembered the old post, and clicked on through to the tarot site, because I'm really struggling right now and seeking guidance and insight wherever I can find it. The site asks you to focus your mind on a question, and my question of course focused on my new career path, and what I should do. You don't actually type the question in--you just keep it in your head. So, the computer has no way of knowing what your question is. Keep in mind, as you read about these cards that came up, that I've just finished up the Big Project, which is widely regarded as a success (although I don't feel that way about it at all), and I'm trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Oh, and we're still trying to have a baby or two.
The first card was The Lovers.
Here's what it says:
Follow your passion
You have the opportunity to look deeply into your own heart and ask yourself if you are living a life full of passion and love. What gives you deep joy and fulfillment in your life? Whatever it is, are you pursuing it? When you are living an authentic life, pursuing your deepest passions, it is easy to love yourself and then to love others. If you have a choice to make, remember that the Lovers call upon you to always follow your heart's desire.
You can also click through to learn more about the cards. When I did this on the first card, this is what I got (with my annotations in bold):
The Lovers celebrate the sacred feast of Beltane (May Day) in their greenwood bower, attended by the swan of Aphrodite and her twin doves. (Oh, you know what I am thinking about the meaning of the "twin doves").
He is resplendent as the sun and she, green as the growing earth. He is crowned with leaves, she with May-flowers — hawthorn blossoms, which remind us to “follow our bliss” when there are choices to be made (yes, but what exactly IS my bliss??? Coincidentally, when I left my last job, and announced to my former employer that I was leaving and why I was leaving, she responded by telling me that I had to "follow my bliss.").Between them they hold the blood-red wild rose of summer, symbol of the sweetness and the sting of passion. A bumblebee hovers near the rose, waiting the chance to drink deeply of its nectar. (What's the bumblebee? An RE?)
For a moment, they have turned away from being caught up in each other’s gaze to look outward together in the same direction.
The second card was The Seeker (aka The Fool):
A new beginning
You are being challenged to take a risk and begin again. It's time to hit the road, either metaphorically or literally. Every time you set out on a journey, even if it's only a one-day hike, you embark on a spiritual journey as well. Be open to all the twists and curves in the road ahead. Be ready for surprises. Keep your heart open and maintain an attitude of innocence, trust and spontaneity. Take a risk! Before you is a brand new adventure — the chance for a fresh start and endless possibilities.
When I clicked through on this one, it said
This Fool is much more a Seeker than a Clown or Jester. She begins a journey, taking a moment to contemplate the road ahead before setting off down the hillside. (Oh, I can take this both literally and metaphorically.) She travels lightly, carrying all that she needs in her bundle. (Incidentally, her bundle is the exact same shade of blue as the backpack that I am taking on our trip.) She has embroidered a butterfly on the back of her vest, signifying her delight in taking wing and setting out on her own path.
The Great Mountain rises in the east, and the River slowly meanders on its own journey, from the mountain range down to the bay and the ocean beyond.
The Seeker is at that stage of life between childhood and adulthood when anything is possible, and her life lies before her like a page waiting to be written. With Fox as her trickster companion, who knows what surprises await her? Swallows and Swallowtails flit and flutter around her, guiding her way.
The third and final card was The Sun:
Resolution comes with letting your light shine in the world. You may find a big smile on your face. With a huge burst of energy, your spirit is shouting out a great big YES! Perhaps you have accomplished a long term goal or are receiving accolades and attention for the good work you have done. You are healthy, energetic and enthusiastic with a warm and generous heart. It's time to celebrate and get out and play in the sunshine. Sing, dance, make love, let your creativity flow. Shine on!
And when I clicked through:
From the shadows of the Moon, we move into the clear light of day. A woman dances for joy at the peak of the sun’s power, at noon on Summer Solstice. Even the sunflowers behind her are radiating happiness. There are no hidden agendas here (I could go on and on and on about horrid people and hidden agendas this week), no sadness or darkness or stress (um, 'sadness, darkness and stress' pretty much sum up my job in a nutshell right now), just the sheer joy of being alive.
I'm going to be thinking about these all day.