The Big Project is officially over. It's hard to believe, frankly. I've devoted so much to it, and I've sacrificed so much for it. And truth be told, I'm not sure it was worth it. What is right is not always what is easy. I have learned over these recent months just how much it would cost me to do what I thought was right. It was so hard. I am proud of myself that I could do it and I am proud of the work that I did, but I have to admit, I hurt. It was so much harder than I ever imagined.
I have booked our trip. We leave in a few weeks, and I am really excited. I am thrilled beyond words to spend time with Terrific T., who I have barely seen of late. I am thrilled to do things I have only dreamed of. I am thrilled to take a trip that I have long wanted to do. And I am thrilled to have the chance to heal.
I'm also taking anothe trip tomorrow, this time without Terrific T. I need some time away, to myself, to contemplate what's next for me. I have decided that I will be leaving my current job, which I love. It is so much a part of the fabric of me that it is incredibly painful to say that I am leaving. But with this last Big Project, I have finally recognized just how much it costs me, and the costs have become too great. It is so hard to walk away from something that means so much, but I know that I need to. I just don't know how. I'm completely terrified.