Thursday, November 6, 2008

100th Post: The End

The Big Project is officially over. It's hard to believe, frankly. I've devoted so much to it, and I've sacrificed so much for it. And truth be told, I'm not sure it was worth it. What is right is not always what is easy. I have learned over these recent months just how much it would cost me to do what I thought was right. It was so hard. I am proud of myself that I could do it and I am proud of the work that I did, but I have to admit, I hurt. It was so much harder than I ever imagined.

I have booked our trip. We leave in a few weeks, and I am really excited. I am thrilled beyond words to spend time with Terrific T., who I have barely seen of late. I am thrilled to do things I have only dreamed of. I am thrilled to take a trip that I have long wanted to do. And I am thrilled to have the chance to heal.

I'm also taking anothe trip tomorrow, this time without Terrific T. I need some time away, to myself, to contemplate what's next for me. I have decided that I will be leaving my current job, which I love. It is so much a part of the fabric of me that it is incredibly painful to say that I am leaving. But with this last Big Project, I have finally recognized just how much it costs me, and the costs have become too great. It is so hard to walk away from something that means so much, but I know that I need to. I just don't know how. I'm completely terrified.

4 comments:

Heather said...

Wishing you lots of luck and peace with your decision to find a new job.

Manda said...

1. Congrats on your 100th post!

2. Thank god that evil project has ended. I'm sad that it didn't bring you all you hoped for, but I'm thrilled that you have come out the other side.

3. Can you email me from your trip to let me know you haven't been eaten by the locals? I worry about things like that. And if the locals DO eat you, can you have THEM email me? You know, just so I know.

4. YES! I'm so glad you are changing careers. Or at least changing the direction of *this* career. The next one will have to be easier on you.

Io said...

Whew - I read the heading and for half a second I thought you were done with blogging and I gasped out loud.
Congrats on the 100th post!
And super congrats on getting done with the project - I'm sorry it was so much stress on you and I hope that whatever you decide to do next ends up being much better for you.
And Yay trip!

Darla said...

congrats on the accomplishment! where are you now? when are you coming back? we miss you!