Boundaries

A few weeks ago, T. and I spent the weekend with his mother. My stomach was bothering me over the weekend, as in, I had a stomachache, no doubt from all of the cookies I ate while I was there.

Last night, my MIL needed a favor, so T. had dinner with her and her husband and did the things they needed done around their house, like the good son he is. While he was there, MIL and her husband confronted him about whether I was pregnant, because I didn't drink any alcohol when I was at their house, and because I kept holding my stomache (which, again, had to do with the stomacheache). MIL had actually suggested to me over the weekend that maybe I was pregnant, and I told her that my stomach was bothering me from the stuff I'd eaten.

I am completely annoyed about this. I have NEVER spoken to them about the fact that we are trying. In fact, I don't want them to even know. I can't prevent T. from talking to his own mother, and he talked to her about the m/c a long time ago. However, he hasn't been talking to her about this stuff in well over a year. She tried to bring it up with me once before (other than last weekend), and I quickly changed the subject. We obviously haven't told her now. She should really get the fact that we have chosen not to talk about it, and she should respect that, even if she suspects that we are pregnant. I understand that she will be excited-but, she has six other grandkids. It's not like this is the first. And it certainly can't be the first time someone hasn't told her something.

I am really upset about her refusal to respect our privacy. I can only imagine what it's going to be like if we end up with a real live baby. The really frustrating part is that even when I've been really clear with her in the past about my needs and desires, she refuses to abide by them. She utterly refuses to acknowledge that someone might feel differently, or have a different perspective from her. I just want her, just once, to back off until she's invited in.