Friday, April 4, 2008

"Pregnant Man" Rant

Have you noticed that the "Pregnant Man" is all over the news? Oprah, Good Morning America, People. . .there PM is, photos and all. Except, PM and I have something in common:

Yes, PM has a uterus. Which means that PM isn't a PM at all. . .PM is genetically a woman. That's right, "XX". Which means that the so-called "pregant man" is not a "pregnant man" at all, but a woman.

Now, I'm all for individual choice. If you are a homosexual, cross-dresser, transvestite, transgender, WHATEVER, I think that's perfectly fine. If you want to have kids as any of the above, I think that's perfectly fine, too. Kids are resilient, and every type of parent out there (and yes, even the red meat eating Republican fundamentalist) fucks up their kids in some fashion, so I don't believe these types of parental "lifestyles" (for lack of a better word--don't stone me, please) impact children any more or less than any other parental situation. So PM was once a woman and has been living life as a man, and now wants to have a child? Okay. PM wants to stay a man and give birth to the child. . .okay, again. I mean, let's be honest, a pregnant belly could easily pass for a beer belly. PM could have had his cake and eaten it, too, and no one would have been the wiser. After all, PM wanted to live life as a man, and concealing PM's pregnancy would have been just another day in the transgender neighborhood.

BUT. . .here's where I have an issue. She's not a man, at least not biologically. It's a nice hook, though, and all of the media outlets are playing up the "pregnant man" angle, despite the fact she's not biologically a man at all. And because she's got a nice hook, she can get all kinds of attention, and call me a cynic, but with attention comes money. Let's call a spade a spade: this couple has chosen to sell their kid out. And THAT really bugs me.

I read that couple felt the recent media blitz was necessary because they came out with the pregnancy in The Advocate, and everyone thought it was a hoax. Um, WHY did you come out in The Advocate? WHY do you need people to believe it's not a hoax? WHY are you inviting this kind of scrutiny upon your soon-to-be family? You've been living as a man because you wanted to be a man, right? WHY did you do this? And I don't mean "why," in terms of "why are you talking about it--I don't want to hear about it," I mean "why" as in, "why do this to your child, given how many nut jobs live in this country."

PM told Oprah that there are concerns someone might try to kill the baby. Well, duh. There are a lot of sickos out there, PM, and I'm sure you've been conscious of their ire your whole life, given that you are a transgendered person. I can't help but feel that you and your wife have placed your baby in harm's way in the course of seeking financial gain. And by continuing to hold yourself out as a man, and by holding yourself out as the "Pregnant Man" in particular, you are inviting scrutiny and criticism of your choices and her child. I don't really care about you and your spouse. You can live your lives however you want, and if you face criticism for your choices, so what. But what about your daughter? What about the nuts that could come out of the woodwork for years to come, torturing and taunting her, and maybe even, God forbid, trying to hurt her?

I've read that some members of your wife's family didn't even know you were not a biological man. You've said that you will continue to live life as a man, and be this baby's "father." That tells me that you want to live as--and be perceived as--a man. So why destroy the life you've created for yourself? By coming out and doing what you have done, you have utterly destroyed any chance of your daughter ever living with you as her "father." Your first and last names have been published. Your face is everywhere, as is your wife's. You will never again live as a "man," but rather as a transgendered person who appears man-like. You are NOT, in fact, a "pregnant man," no matter how you view yourself. And the world is never going to let you or MORE IMPORTANTLY your daughter ever forget it. This goes way beyond the scrutiny a child faces with having homosexual parents, and the very fact you're promoting yourself as a "pregnant man" shows me that you know that. Why would you place such a precious gift in the path of the zealots that you know damn well are out there? Why couldn't you just be satisfied with your miracle?

In the end, the only conclusion I can reach is that you are clearly checking the "man" box because you know you'll gain attention and money by selling yourself to the press as a "pregnant man." I think you've done a cost-benefit analysis here, and you've traded your daughter's safety and obscurity for your own financial gain. You've crafted a made-for-the-tabloids reality gem for yourself, and the proof of that is splashed throughout the glossy People pictorial. You and your wife say you'll sit down and explain the story of your daughter's birth when she's old enough to understand. I wonder how old you have to be to understand that your parents chose to exploit you before you were ever born, and put you in harm's way in search of the almighty dollar.


Manda said...

I couldn't have said it better myself...

Bev said...

You are so spot on here. They totally seem like they are attention whoring. It really bother me. Your transgendered, fine! You want me be a man, great! You go on Oprah and every other talk show/newspapers/magazines/online form of media... you are selling that fetus out like crazy.

I puffy heart your blog! ;)