Monday, May 26, 2008

Dirty Little Secrets

Today, I am thankful for all of those who have lost their lives in military service to our country, and I am thinking of their families.

Although it is a day to honor and remember, I am choosing today to post my dirty little secrets. My inherent reaction to somber and sad is to counter it with inane and silly. I blame my mother: when I was five, my mother told me that my grandfather had died, and then followed up this news by saying, "okay, let's go make chocolate chip cookies." I was hardwired wrong from the very beginning. And well, that's not the only evidence that I'm hardwired wrong:

1. I buy marshmallow fluff just so I can eat spoonfuls of it straight out of the jar.

2. I kept all of my positive PG tests from last summer. They're hidden in a drawer.

3. I think that I was meant to be wildly successful at exactly one thing. Since I was a child, I have been resolutely sure that was what I would do. I've never tried to do that thing. I'm afraid I'll fail.

4. I didn't just spend $2.00 on pumpkin seeds (see yesterday's post). I indulged EVERY ONE of my "someday" seed wishes this year. . .to the tune of $300. My garden is at least three times the size of my house.

5. I might not be going to Borneo after all.

6. I let my dog sleep in the bed when Terrific T isn't home. . .because she snores just like he does, and it makes me sleep better.

7. I am sure that I am going to have a healthy and successful pregnancy.

8. Sometimes I decide I don't like my shoes, so I buy a new pair and immediately put them on, then throw away the old pair on my way out of the store.

9. I am registered as an independent, but I have never voted for a Republican.

10. I once had a friend who got a lot of ugly wedding gifts. For a long time, she kept them on shelves in her basement, because she couldn't bring herself to simply throw them out, and was too afraid the giver would see them if she had a yard sale. When I felt like I had to give gifts to people who weren't very nice to me, I "shopped" at her Basement Emporium. It made both of us feel better.


Io said...

Holy smackaroonies! $300!
Other than that, I find all your dirty little secrets to be perfectly sane. And if I didn't have a teeny tiny yard and wasn't so lazy, I would probably find the seed expenditure normal as well.

Nine said...

I related to almost all of your secrets- I am hardwired wrong too- but I love it about myself! I consider us fascinating!

JamieD said...

Have you ever eaten Nutella? It is a chocolate hazelnut spread that is supposed to be good on toast, pancakes, etc. So far I have only tried it on spoons and my fingers!

And the garden - WOW!! Keep me posted!!

Julia said...

I like your #9. And am laughing at #10. My sister is getting married this summer. We will see if she ends up with an emporium. The one truly awful thing we got for our wedding is this weird painting that we then left at my parents' house. 12 years later it is still there. Better not remind them of it, I think... said...

Thanks for sharing your dirty little secrets. I can relate to most of them.

Have come to visit via NaComLeavMo.

I hope No.7 comes true for you soon.

Anonymous said...

You should really try Jamied's suggestion - Nutella on Pancake! Juuumeeee!

In fact marshmallow dipped in Nutella could be just as nice..hmmm I'm hungry now...

Duck said...


Sounds like a nice garden, I would keep any positive tests too, all perfectly normal things to do.

Portia P said...

Hi there

Found you via NaComLeavMo.

I love your confessions esp the marshmallow fluff and wedding gift ones. I can really identify with them.

I hope you get your happy, healthy pregnancy x

JamieD said...

That is a brilliant idea!! Take other things packed with sugary goodness and dip THOSE in nutella!! Why didn't I think of that?!?!

Anonymous said...

I love the "Basement Emporium" idea! That's pretty funny and quite clever (unless you're embarrassed to gift ugly things...).

Ooh... and marshmallow fluff... mm.

Erin said...

I'm here from NaComLeavMo. What's wrong with eating marshmallow fluff from the jar? Yum. I'd love to see pictures of your garden when it's blooming/growing. Why aren't you going to Borneo? And I'm in almost the same position politically (I did vote for a Republican for our city's mayor one year because she was the mother of a friend and I've known her since I was 2).

Kim said...

Too funny about the wedding gifts! I love Fluff too! Here from NCLM!

Veronica said...

returning the comment love!

OMG...I do the shoe thing too. Althou I only throw out the old shoes half the time. But I have been trying to toss or donate old shoes when I get new ones.

seussgirl said...

Ha, your #10 is terrific!
I feel like that about selling "gifts" from my parents; they can't ever know if I have a yard sale!