Thursday, May 15, 2008

News From The Front

Although the Battle for the Underworld has raged on for the last few days, I am pleased to report that after intense efforts, we seem to have reached a resolution.

First, there was the pilgramage to the Kingdom of Gynecological Wonders, where a brief girlyparts scrummage ensued. Dr. Hoo Hoo was dazzled by the tactical display presented by the ruler of the girlyparts (yours truly). It was complete with multicolored ovulation charts and a summary page detailing all of the covert activities of the girlyparts over the last 8 months. Dr. Hoo Hoo responded with a unique and appreciated offensive strategy of her own. She posited that the Wonder Twins appear to be in proper working order, despite their refusal to ovulate earlier than CD21. She suggested that the somewhat short LP is not necessarily a signal that the girlyparts are waving the white flag to that bastard insurgent, Infertility. She suggested that an appropriate offensive maneuver might be to engage in Operation Clomid, or to even wait and send in progesterone reenforcements to supplement the troops at the end of the next cycle. However, Dr. Hoo Hoo stressed that evasive maneuvers are not necessarily warranted at this point, and the current babymaking mission might be successfully accomplished without further intervention. She will accede to the wishes of the ruler of the girlyparts as to whatever strategic option is selected by same.

Then, today there was the exploratory mission by Dr. Commander into the literal bowels of The Underworld. This mission was something of a success. The Commander concluded that current strife in the region was caused by an uprising of Bad Bacteria caused by the formerly prescribed evil antibiotic. The Commander reported back that the previous bacterial uprising was rooted out and eradicated by the second round of good antibiotics. Unfortunately, despite the eradiction of the rebel forces, the current strife is most likely the result of the formerly deposed dictator, Proctitis, taking advantage of the uprising of bad bacteria, and making an attempt to regain territory. After strategizing with the Commander, it is believed that a 12 week infusion of various medications will force Dictator Proctitis's retreat, and quell the remaining violence in the region. Peace will hopefully be regained throughout The Underworld at that time, and all parties will again be able to focus at that point on the true mission at hand: babymaking.

(Final Conclusion: No trying until at least August. It's Official: For now, it's just Borneo or Bust. Oh, and I'm ovulating today. Ironic, no?)


JamieD said...

That is too funny!!

Well, just know you always have support from the United Nations of IF!

VA Blondie said...

I love that post! Sometimes IF can seem like a battle. Good to know you have your sense of humor.

Carry on!

Gin said...

I hate it when the twins have other plans! Aren't they supposed to converse with the rest of the team body before taking a hiatus from interacting with the sperm allies?
Grr them!
Borneo or Bust!