Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Decisions, Decisions

AF arrived on Saturday with no advance warning. It's been heavier than usual, which I'm hoping means there was more of a lining than usual. In the final analysis, I think I did ovulate, somewhere between CD25 and CD29. That would leave me with an LP of somewhere between 8 and 13 days, I guess.

T. and I have been talking a lot about where to go from here. He would like to try three more cycles unassisted, then three cycles with Clomid, and then move forward with adoption plans, if we are not pregnant by then. My immediate reaction to this plan was that six more cycles didn't sound like very many. But, he is somewhat older than I am, and upwards of 40, so I can understand where he is coming from. Watching him this weekend with our friend's three young sons, I had tears in my eyes.

In some respects, his plan makes some sense. The best chances of Clomid working on its own happen in the first three cycles. Neither of us really wants to do IUI with injectibles or IVF. It's not about the cost. In fact, we have gold standard health insurance which would cover it. It's the process, the appointments, the drugs, the invasiveness. It seems horrid, and I don't mean this as any disrespect to anyone who has chosen that route (indeed, you are likely far less of a wuss than I am, and I applaude your mental and physical stamina). But then, there are so many aspects of the adoption system which also seem horrid to me (and then there is the cost...). I know I should be thankful to have choices, and I am. I have no idea how to make them, though. I am someone who analyses every choice to death, and then picks the one the feels best. Here, I'm having a hard time deciding what feels best; I am Alice and everything in Wonderland is feels strange and ill-fitting.

For now, I don't have to make any final decisions. We've decided that we will definitely do nothing but try the "old fashioned" way for the next 2-3 cycles. I'm going to up the B6 from 50 mg to 100-150 mg this cycle, and probably add Vitex. Then, when the Big Project is over and we've had a nice, relaxing stint in Borneo, we can face the hard questions head on.


Anonymous said...

You might try throwing EPO into the mix to get your CM to the right place. I definitely noticed a difference when I was taking it. Just remember to stop as soon as you O so you don't cause uterine weirdness for any potential embryos.

JamieD said...

I think that sounds like a great plan. I like how you describe it - strange and ill-fitting. Because it is and worse than that, I never thought I would be in this wonderland.

Good luck . . . I bet you can't wait until Borneo!!

Gin said...

Oh I feel your confusion. We were just having that same discussion about adoption and IVF. I am so impressed by those going through the IVF treatments and I'm so very afraid of putting my body through that shock.