Thursday, August 28, 2008

But Then Again. . .

I am waking up 42 times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. This was my first "symptom" the last time I was pregnant. It's got to be psychosomatic, because seriously, it's way too early for symptoms. Waaaaay. But nevertheless, the hope is bubbling up.

Okay, I might be obsessing a teensy bit, in between the craziness of the Big Project.

Our D&C was a year ago today. Truthfully, it feels so far behind us that it's barely a blip on my radar. It's just part of the fabric of my history now. It is weird to think it's been a year since we were last pregnant, though. So much has happened in the last year. Like so many other people around these parts, I never thought it would take this long. I never thought that a year and a half after we started trying, we'd still be in the same place.

But I'm feeling really positive about things. I just keep thinking about the tarot card reader that told me it wasn't my time before, and that she saw two children in my future. When I look at where my life was a year ago, and I look at where I'm headed in the next year, I am excited and energized. As much as I still don't believe in tarot card readers, I believe that my time is coming, and I feel like it's coming soon.

5 comments:

Io said...

No matter what happens this cycle (Oh, that hope! I love her and hate her.) I'm glad you're in a good place.

Manda said...

Knowing my Queenie, you'll start testing tomorrow, right?

I'm sorry about the anniversary today. Almost feels like it's been more than a year. Your babies will find you, I promise.

Lucia said...

Why not be choose to be optimistic unless proven otherwise? Of course, I know from experience that the obsessing part doesn't have anything to do with choice.

JamieD said...

I am glad to hear you are feeling positive - it is a good way to feel!

I am coming up on the anniversary of my D&C and I feel the same. The whole pregnancy was over so quick, to look back now it is almost like it never happened at all.

Sending more positive thoughts your way . . .

ginnygrl said...

The suspense is so hard! If not this cycle next cycle is coming up!