Monday, March 9, 2009


How did it get to be CD4 already? That means we are on the eve of CD5. That means I start chomping tomorrow. I am equal parts totally calm, and utterly freaking out, but naturally not in the same second. If I am this bipolar without the hormones, I am afraid to find out what the rest of the week will bring.

I think I'm going to start the med's in the middle of the day tomorrow. That way, if I start to feel awful, I can go home, but if I have any freakish side effects, I will be very close (within a few blocks) of my doctor's office. Okay, I know this is unlikely to happen, but I'm just saying.

So, I guess this means I've decided to take the Clo.mid this month. I can't believe we're here. I can't believe we're trying again. I feel really good about our chances this month, and completely terrified. Are we ready for this? After all this time, I'm still asking myself this question. And yet, I don't think it's really ever possible to be completely ready. How can you prepare for something so utterly huge, and which you've never experienced? At the end of the day, it's really a total leap of faith.


S said...

Good luck with the Clomid; I hope it works for you!

Interestingly enough, I am on CD 5 today, so we are only a day apart. No meds for me this cycle, though: this is likely our last unassisted attempt.

VA Blondie said...

I think a lot of IF treatment is a leap of faith. Nothing we try has a 100% chance of success, so we have to try things and take it on faith that it have a shot at it working.

Good luck with the clomid. It can be a rough go. I have been there. Anything you say from here on out will not be held against you!

Heather said...

Chiming in to wish you lots of luck!

Io said...

You can do it! Here's hoping you get no bad side effects and, oh yeah, knocked up.