Sunday, April 5, 2009

Crap

I don't think this one's going to work out. I scoured TCOYF, to try to figure out why FF changed my chart, and I can't. According to TCOYF, I O'd on CD16. That means that yesterday was 14dpo.

I also fished out the test that I did the afternoon of 11dpo. It was a FRER. When a line didn't show up right away, I had tossed it. I never looked at it 3 minutes later. But, there's a faint line there. I know you're not supposed to look at them after 10 minutes, but my experience with those tests has been that if they're negative, they stay white, no matter how long you let them sit, and a line likewise keeps forever (I still have my very first positive. . .which I know is twisted.) Between 11dpo and yesterday, 14dpo, the line got no darker, really.

And then I tested again this morning. The line is even fainter than yesterday.

Unfortunately, I can only conclude that this one isn't going to stick around. I haven't told T., because I don't want to upset him. He took the miscarriage really hard. Granted, this is different, because it seems to be ending before it ever really got started. But still. . .he doesn't need the disappointment, not yet. I have my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, and I'll see what the plan is, before I break the news.

As for me, I'm actually okay with what I think will be bad news on this one. Although, I am a little annoyed. I just want things to work out, already, without any drama or problems, and this is just one more thing weighing us down on the journey, one more thing delaying our future.

4 comments:

~Jess said...

Oh sweetie for your sake I hope the positives stick around. I didn't get a positive pregnancy test until 16dpo. Have you called your doctor about getting a beta done?

I'm thinking about you guys!

Rebeccah said...

I just caught up on about a month of posts ... wow! In my mind, once a digital test says you're pg, it's really worth scheduling a beta ... in part so you don't drive yourself crazy with worry. Will be thinking positive thoughts for you!!

Manda said...

I'm with everyone else - see if you can manage a beta tomorrow. For the sake of your sanity, don't wait till Tuesday. *hugs*

Elizabeth said...

oh i hope you have a clear answer soon - and of course i hope it's positive. fingers crossed.