I have been patiently waiting for AF. After a few days of being disappointed that we didn't get pregnant this cycle, I was actually fine with it, and looking forward to starting a new cycle. Looking forward, even, to our Clo.mid check appointment on Tuesday, because that meant we were moving along again.
Only, AF hasn't come, and I don't know what the hell is going on. My breasts are so tender that it hurts to walk down stairs (and I'm basically flat-chested). I have had tiny spots of pink-brown on my underwear once today, once yesterday, and once the day before that. My temp's are hovering around coverline, but haven't had a sustained drop. And I'm having the longest LP since I started charting two years ago (which could be due to the Clo.mid).
Based on my sharp temp rise after CD16, I would think that I O'd on CD16, which would make today 14dpo. FF changed my chart on about CD20, and said that I didn't O until CD18 (I had another temp rise from there). If that's true, then I'm 12dpo. So of course, since AF isn't here and I fully expected it to already be here, I tested again:
Does that look like a line to you? The test is an internet cheapie. The photo is taken the requisite 4-5 minutes after peeing on it. I swear I see a faint line. The line has actually gotten darker as it has dried. But maybe I'm just hallucinating. But if it is a line, why is it so faint, so late? I last tested three days ago, to no line. Well, that's not true. I thought there was a whiff of a line, but then I thought I imagined it, and it wasn't there when I pulled it out of the trash later on. When I was pregnant the first time, I got a faint positive line on 9dpo and a strong positive line on 11dpo. At 12dpo or 14dpo, depending on whether you're being pessimistic, that very faint line can't mean anything good.
I can handle being pregnant, or not being pregnant, but this in-betweenness is going to drive me insane. I've been sitting here for so long that the post office has now closed, and various other errands are going undone today. I think the only solution is to go buy a big pack of FRER's, and test again. I am equal parts joyously hopeful and darkly dreading.
UPDATE: I love Walmart. Three FRER's for $15. And a bunch of other crap I didn't need, just in case I found myself desiring a project to distract myself with. Which I do. Here's what the FRER came up with:
Um, that's a surprise. And it's darker than my 9dpo test from last time I was pregnant. Needless to say, I'll be peeing again in the morning. Could this really be happening?
2ND UPDATE: Because I'm all kinds of crazy, the day that I thought I saw the whiff of a line, I bought digital PG tests. I have this idea for how I want to tell DH that we're pregnant if it looks like this is for reals, and it might involve a digital test. Although, now I think I like the FRER better for creative purposes (that will have to be next week's S&T, if everything works out). Anyway, I had digitals in the house, but I was out of FRER's today, which necessitated the trip to Walmart. Because, I needed to see how dark the line was. But now that I've seen it, I just had to see what a digital would say. And here's what it says:
Wow. Two years ago this month, we decided to try for a baby. I really, really hope this one sticks around.
Wanna see what everyone else is showing, now that you've analyzed my pee sticks? Hop along over to Mel's show and tell.